Corri's Post-Christmas Naughty & Nice (Play)List

Hello friends, and Merry Christmas to you!

Since Christmas Day is officially behind us, one of my favorite radio stations has ceased its nonstop December Christmas music marathon.  Sad face.  Hearing many of the same, quintessential holiday songs in different arrangements made me nostalgic for my Christmas post in 2014 where I rated the top 10 best/worst holiday songs.  I re-visited the list today and noticed that not only do I have additional songs to add to both lists, but that I disagree with my past self on a few of the items.  Go figure.  Here is my 2017 version of the top five best and worst Christmas songs.  Enjoy, and let me know what you think!

Worst:

5) Winter Wonderland - The Eurythmics
I heard this song on the radio several times this season, and I found myself wanting to pull over out of fear each time the intro played.  The rest of the song is ok, but humor me for a second, and imagine this introduction without vocals.  The 80s synthesizer of death is beyond terrifying, and needs to go.

4) Step into Christmas - Elton John
I don't actually mind this song all that much.  I think it's clever, catchy, and kind of fun, actually.  Much like it's predecessor on this list though, I have a huge problem with one part, and it ruins the song for me completely.  After the first or second refrain, each time he says "The admission's free", it sounds like you just lost a life in a game of Number Munchers.  Who sat in the mixing booth and decided that should remain in the final cut?  Yuck.

3) All I Want for Christmas is You - Vince Vance & The Valiants ft. Lisa Layne
Maybe it's just because I am not a huge country fan that I don't like this song, but every time it comes on, it feels like a low budget dirty movie soundtrack to me.  Her voice is just so rugged and out of control that I don't enjoy listening to it.  I do feel badly that the title of their song got hijacked and ultimately ended in much more popularity than the original, but I would contest that the Mariah Carey song which shares this title is much better.

2) I Like a Sleigh Ride (Jingle Bells) - Peggy Lee
If you can get past the 14 "I Like a Sleigh Ride" repetitions to get into the meat of the song, it's actually not too bad, but anytime the children come back in with that horrific part, any progress made is irrevocably undone.  Did she lose a bet?  Did she owe someone a favor?  Who is thinking that these children ADD to this holiday song?  Not I.  Not I, indeed.

1) Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas - Christina Aguilera
I hadn't ever heard this arrangement until a few days ago, and about halfway through the first verse, my husband and I could not stop laughing.  While Miss Aguilera is arguably one of the most vocally acrobatic of singers, her interpretation in most of her music makes the resulting song un-singable.  The only thing worse than not being able to sing along to a song on the radio is not being able to sing along with a Christmas song on the radio, and Xtina makes that goal absolutely impossible to meet.  A lot of times less is more, and by oversinging every phrase to the point of hilarity, it almost makes the song feel like a mockery.  Oversinging might drive the point home that you are capable of incredibly difficult melismas and runs, but it also highlights your inability to think musically and to put what enhances the song's meaning above what enhances your vocal abilities.

Best:

5) I Love the Winter Weather - Tony Bennett
This song is soon underrated!  I don't remember hearing it prior to this Christmas season, but I heard it several times and it just made me so jolly.  His voice has such an easiness to it that I find incredibly relaxing.  The way the piece ties in with "I've Got My Love to Keep Me Warm" also doesn't hurt, since that is one of my favorite wintertime songs as well.

4) Winter Wonderland - Jason Mraz
I think we can all agree that this is one of the most coveted of carols to cover (pretty good alliteration, amiright?), but as is the case with most songs with a high quantity of covers, most are average at best, and few are high quality and different enough to both separate itself from the original, while still doing it homage.  This song, in my opinion, does a fantastic job at both.  His plucky and rhythmic accompaniment suits his voice impeccably, and changes the piece in a really fun way without making it unrecognizable.  Kudos, Jason Mraz.  Ya done good.

3) Sleigh Ride
While many re-makes of this song are great, this recording is my favorite.  Some songs are, well, just perfect the first time around.  While I don't mind re-imaginings of this classic piece, this one will always be the best for me.

I am mildly annoyed, though, that someone decided to add lyrics, because now I sing the lyrics in my head when I hear the instrumental version and I feel like it is overshadowing my attempt to hear the story from the instrumental perspective, which may have nothing to do with the chestnuts going "pop pop pop!".  It's sort of like seeing the movie before the book, and being unable to visualize the characters in a way other than the appearance of the actors or actresses.

(There COULD NOT be a better thumbnail for this video)

2) Carol of the Bells - Pentatonix
I know I mentioned in my post from three years ago that any Pentatonix Christmas arrangement is a contender, but I feel this one needs to be called out on its own.  Is it lovely?  Yes.  Is the arrangement equal parts complex and yet recognizable?  Also yes.  But let's focus for a moment on a part that I think is utterly brilliant, and most likely unappreciated: the magic that is 2:18.  What is Mitch even doing?  It's not really human.  His accuracy and delicacy with a run that is both lengthy and very complex is astounding to me.  I'm not naive enough to believe that he sang it through the four or five times it is played in this recording, as I'm sure it was recorded and replayed, but the fact that he can do it even once that well is enough to make me a lovely shade of holly green with envy.  Well done, indeed!

1) We Need a Little Christmas - Johnny Mathis
So, after those accolades, what could top that?  None other than Johnny Mathis, of course!  What I love specifically about this rendition of this song is the same thing that I love about The Drifters' version of White Christmas: the unabashed, full throttle passion of the singer.  While this song is fantastic in its own merit, and I love the bouncy joviality of it, just do me a favor and listen to the last 15 seconds.  Johnny Mathis slays that note, and there's absolutely nothing half-assed about it.  Plus, this was likely recorded in a time (also like the Drifters' piece) where they weren't necessarily able to stop and re-record in the middle of phrases, and I respect them so much more for having to do complete takes with crazy accuracy.  Nowadays, singers can go measure by measure, hell, even beat by beat until they get it, or just slosh their way through a piece and correct it with auto-tuning later.  Props to you, Johnny Mathis, for killing it on probably the first take, and not backing away from a crazy powerful high note ending, despite having likely exhausted yourself singing the whole song with unmatchable gusto.

Thanks for reading, and again, let me know if you have others you think I missed!  Merry Christmas, and Happy New Year!

Wrapping up Christmas - 10 Tips for Gift Wrapping Success

As Christmas draws near, I actually find myself ready for the glorious gift-giving extravaganza.  Having been a consistent December 23rd shopper in the past, this is kind of a big deal, a lot of which I attribute to the wee one that is now a part of my life.  Something that has always been special to me, though, has been gift wrapping.

Back in the day, the reigning Miss Thousand Islands was invited to wrap gifts at Borders Book Store in the mall (God, I miss that store...) and even in the years where I wasn't the winner, I found myself there helping.  I take the role of third wheel to an alarming degree, I suppose.  Anyway, it was those experiences and people that taught me a lot about the efficiency needed for the basics, and how to gift wrap some obscenely large and obtuse gifts.

Another thing my memory draws upon this time of year is the creativity my father exhibited while wrapping gifts.  Tissue paper, curling ribbon, bows, spacial awareness and symmetry were all cleverly put to work in any given one of my father's gifts to another person.

I guess I felt, with the big day being tomorrow, I would share some of the things I have learned in hopes that it might make your holiday a little more festive.  Without further adieu, I present ten pieces of advice for wrapping, and decorating, your gifts this holiday season.

1) Invest in the best.
I learned this the hard way this year as I was re-using some of the wrapping paper I had purchased last year.  While the roll had a lot more paper on it than other rolls I had purchased, it wasn't labeled "heavy duty" and therefore ripped when a heavier package was being maneuvered.  I have since purchased some heavy duty wrap, and while it is a bit pricier and may not go as far, it certainly looks cleaner and doesn't tear as easily.  It's sort of like toilet paper; you can go cheap and 'get more', or you can invest a little more for the two-ply brand and have a softer, cleaner bum.

While we're on the topic of purchasing, it's hard to wrap gifts properly if you don't plan ahead.  It's sort of like when I go grocery shopping without a list, and get a bunch of food items that have no business going together.  Planning out color schemes for ribbons, bows, and paper is important, so taking an inventory of what you have already vs. what you need will help you to plan ahead and not purchase things that have a low probability of being used.

2) Measure.
Many styles of wrapping paper now come with a grid on the flip side, which assists in this step greatly.  A lot of the time, especially with bigger packages, you can merely count how many squares occupy the long end, double it, and then do the same for the width, which saves moving a large and heavy parcel that could tear the paper if you're not careful.

A lot of times, I only measure for the length, because who wants to have to awkwardly cut a swatch to fill the gap in between the ends of the paper?  Having excess paper on the short ends of the packages, though, also presents its own problems, especially with folding.  You should always trim any excess off the ends to ease the folding process, although measuring beforehand will alleviate the problem altogether.

3) There's more than one way to skin a cat.
Yuck.  This isn't a literal piece of advice, thankfully.  For far too long, however, I was only instructed in my tried and true way of folding in the ends of wrapping paper, as evidenced below:

Eventually, one of my gift wrapping gurus showed me an additional way to wrap the ends of a gift, which I now use more frequently:

Upon further research, I think this is how most people are traditionally taught to wrap the ends of paper, but I will say having two methods is helpful in different scenarios.

4) I'm on the edge, of glory.
Speaking of edges, now is a good time to suggest that ALL edges of the gift wrap be folded before they are taped down.  Especially if you cut paper with scissors as horrendously as I do, this step serves to completely remove any evidence of scissors-related debauchery.  It also cleans up the look, as things will appear more parallel and less ragged.

5)  To see, or not to see.  That is the question.
This one is up to personal taste, but if clean wrapping and visual aesthetics are your goal, then it is a good suggestion to utilize the magic that is double sided tape, or my new favorite adhesive, glue dots.  It doesn't make sense to measure paper meticulously and fold edges for the sake of perfection if the scotch tape is going to be visible and disrupt the line you've created, or hidden, depending on the gift wrap.  I don't personally mind the tape being visible, as it's not easily seen, but I would encourage those of us who do err on the side of visible tape to place it "with the grain" or parallel to the wrapping paper, rather than perpendicular.  It is a more efficient use of adhesive, and is not as easily spotted.

6) Think outside the box.
Literally.  Sometimes, the gift is just too square a peg to fit the round hole you're trying to jam it into.  In cases like this, remember that gifts can be just as beautifully presented in a purchased box, or a gift bag, and saves you a lot of time and hassle.  Oftentimes, you can also wrap cylindrical gifts, as shown below, by having an excess of wrapping paper on one end that you can tie off with curling ribbon.  Keep in mind the implicit need for heavy duty wrapping paper, though.

7) Simple vs. ornate.
I don't necessarily feel that one gift wrap type is better than the other, as decisions for each are purely circumstantial.  The decor decisions needing to be made are pretty straightforward, though.  With ornate wrapping paper, such as flamboyant patterns, Christmas scenes, or characters, less is more with decor.  The paper itself is a statement, and needs little else to balance it out.  This type of paper is usually a better fit for bigger packages, which provide a larger canvas with which to portray the paper.  Simple colored ribbon matching a more subtle accent color within the design could be enough, but be sure to avoid having too much stuff, as it can often appear cluttered or tacky.

Simple, on the other hand, can be much more fun and malleable.  A simple multi-colored, or even single colored paper has so many possibilities.  Ribbons, bows, or a combination of both can work wonders in contrasting colors from the paper, or accented colors within it.  Should you have the paper without the measuring boxes on the flip side, using the opposite side of the paper to wrap (which is usually white) gives you an endless amount of color options to use for decor, giving you an opportunity to use less conventional and more unique hues such as purple. pink, orange, yellow, etc.

8) I've got a blank space, baby.
Or at least, I hope you do.  Filling up the entire canvas, much like a work of art, is visually confusing and very loud.  Consider a few things when analyzing your spatial situation: package size, type and location of desired decoration, type of paper, name tag size and shape, empty space (to allow the decoration design some breathing room).  Not EVERYTHING has to be in the center or in the top left corner, you know.  Mix it up a bit!  Put name tags in the center with bows above or below.  Put ribbons off center and to the left, and accent them with a contrasting shaped to/from tag.  There are endless ways to use your space when finalizing your gift, so make sure to map it out before making it permanent.

9) Spice up your life.
While waiting for my most recent dentist appointment, I was reading a christmas decor magazine, and found four really easy ways to add decor to your packages.  Tinsel balls, colored medallions, themed holiday shapes made from wire, or paper cone-shaped trees.  While I didn't elect to use the cone trees, and immensely struggled with the wire-bending, I felt that the diversity of the bow decor helped my gifts have more personality, and not look so same-y.  Even if my craft floor is now facing the unclean-able wrath of cut up tinsel shrapnel.

10) Curly is not your only option.
This year, for the first time, I purchased (yes, I'll admit it was accidental) non-curling ribbon.  The horror!  I really didn't know what to do with it, but I tried it with a few packages and I found that, much like the diversity in bows, the differences in ribbon really complemented some of the gifts I was wrapping.  I also had fun making some of them out of the ordinary, as shown below, with contrasting colors to really make a statement.  Is it a great statement?  Probably not, but it looks purty to me and I received a lot of satisfaction out of making it come to life.

In summary, I need to tell you that I am not the best gift wrapper in the world.  By FAR.  I think Shelby Cohen probably is.  She is the Obi Wan that taught this little Jedi-wrapper all her skills, but at the end of the day, everyone does it differently, and that's why gift-wrapping is so special.  Some gifts are casual, while some are more elegantly adorned.  Others are wrapped by that last-minute Tasmanian devil friend we all have with serial killer handwriting, and sometimes those are the best ones to see.  Whatever your gift wrapping style, know that it matters little what it is, and more that it is wrapped with love, and is a gift that is thoughtful and meaningful.

Happiest of Holidays, and Merry Christmas!