Hitting the Reset Button Part I: Pageantry

After our first child was born, I knew I was going to have to do some re-prioritizing and remove some hobbies out of my hectic schedule.  I feel like I was reasonable and proactive about it, and joked with my husband after the process that, "Well, all I have left now is the pageant and my job...hopefully they will be enough to keep me busy!"  Fast forward to three years later, and it turns out that both are now elements of my past, and looking forward I have an incredibly new, exciting, and somewhat terrifying chapter ahead of me.  Being a full-time mom.

Losing two things that were so instrumental to building my current identity in such a short order was a bit of a shock, but one that I was able to manage in bite-size pieces, and handle as well as one could be expected to handle it.  Being that I can't do either justice in just one post, I figured I would separate my thoughts in parting with two of the greatest passions I have had the pleasure of pursuing.  I give you Part I: The Miss Thousand Islands pageant.

I don't really even know where to begin, but strangely enough, I think beginning at the end is the most apropos.  After this past Miss New York Competition the Miss Thousand Islands Pageant submitted a press release explaining our decision to dissolve as an organization.  I had many people reach out to me to see how I felt about it, but to be completely honest I had some knowledge of this ahead of time, and was able to prepare for it.  If you're a pageant junkie like me, you will also know that the Miss America Competition has had a rather tumultuous year and a half, and in my heart I don't know how much longer this iconic organization is going to be able to keep its head above water.  I'm hoping for the best, but realistically, expecting the worst.  I have a lot of feelings about this, and maybe I'll address them in a later post, but for now I think it's time to back track to the beginning, and help you to understand why the elimination of this organization from my plate is so monumental.

I suppose the best way to do this is to take you through my journey, and show you how much of my life has been shaped by this "hobby" of mine.  I have been a part of pageantry in just about every capacity from 2004 until present day, so as a 32 year old that means pageants have consumed about half of my existence.  I can't begin to imagine how different my life might look if not for my involvement in pageantry- the Miss Thousand Islands Organization specifically.  A roommate, bridesmaid, co-executive director, mother-in-law, husband (and thereby family, including my two babes) have all come into my life as a result of reluctantly saying "yes" to my first pageant 15 years ago, and I don't know that I'll ever be able to give back all of the blessings I've received along this crazy journey of hairspray, butt-glue, and lots of fabulous memories.

So, continue onward if you dare, and enjoy the pictorial evidence of my cosmetic failures throughout the years.

Miss Thousand Islands 2005

• Placement: Non-finalist (probably dead last)
• Growth: Have you ever taken an algebra test without having first taken an algebra class?  That's what this experience felt like, and despite me having absolutely no idea what I was doing or why I was doing it, I knew I did it all terribly.  I wanted and desperately needed to try again, to prove to myself I wasn't as epic a failure as I felt.
• Summary: Where there is a steep learning curve, there must also be perseverance.

Miss Thousand Islands 2006

• Placement: Second-runner up (hold your applause, there were only five contestants)
• Growth: I still didn't know how to walk on stage properly, but I felt more comfortable in interview this time, having done it once before.  I felt like I was getting more comfortable performing talent on stage in a pageant environment, rather than my strict NYSSMA/audition environment.
• Summary: Baby steps, but progress.

Miss Thousand Islands 2007

• Placement: Non-finalist (perhaps pageants just aren't my thing...)
• Growth: It's not in the bag, and being close to winning one year does not guarantee anything in future years.  I feel like I changed a lot about what I did, but was it for the right reasons?  I performed what I thought people wanted to see and hear, and phoned it in a bit because I thought I had an advantage.  Indeed, I did not.
• Summary: Don't combine talents, no matter how good you are at one or the other.  It is just common sense that one, if not both, will suffer.

Miss Lancaster 2007

• Placement: Non-finalist (at least I am consistent)
• Growth: I attended college at Fredonia, and this was my first experience branching out from the Miss TI pageant.  I learned that not all pageants are the same, but they can offer different opinions and perspectives.  I also debuted a more classical/operatic performance rather than jazz songs and show tunes.
• Summary: Don't enter a pageant after a bad breakup, and know who Dick Cheney is.

Miss Western New York 2007

• Placement: 3rd Runner Up (applaud like mad...there were more than five contestants)
• Growth: This was the first top five placement I feel like I really earned, and I was so proud of myself.  I was probably the least physically polished of all the contestants (note the ill fitting dress, and add to it the fact that girls backstage were helping me apply lip liner, and my hair was as flat as my 7th grade chest) but I had a great interview, and I answered my on-stage question (which was probably the worst on-stage question I've ever been asked) candidly and eloquently.
• Summary: To thine own self be true...but lip liner and voluminous hair are still important.

Miss Thousand Islands 2008

• Placement: Miss Thousand Islands 2008 (Huzzah!)
• Growth: With the experiences I gained from other organizations, I felt like I was a melting pot of pageantry advice, and after having earned my first top five placement I felt strong.  Maybe I wouldn't necessarily win, but I felt that I would do well and be proud of my progress.  This was also the first time I sang with more classical technique at my hometown pageant, and it was very surprising to most that I was able to do it.  In hindsight, it's probably what I should have done from the get-go.  I had a very honest and casual interview with the judges (one of whom would become my future mother-in-law) and I felt good about the "me" that the judges got to see.
• Summary: I felt calm, in control, and effortless.  There was still room for improvement, but I was finally showcasing the most genuine version of myself, and it felt good.

Miss New York 2008

• Placement: Non-finalist 
• Growth: I loved each and every girl I got to know at Miss New York, and I felt like I prepared as best I could.  I knew exactly how I wanted to answer each question, and felt like I knew myself well.  What I was not prepared for was the style of the interview, which was very intense, and geared to see who could handle the psychological pressure of a tough interview.  It was unlike anything I'd experienced, and I stumbled over an easy question that I had a great response to.  I asked them to repeat the question, and knew that it cost me any chance I had at placing, but I learned more about interview in those 10 minutes than I had in the past four years of pageant prep, and it was a very valuable lesson.  I was also too intimidated and shy to really act like myself around the contestants, and most of my experience feels like I was an outsider looking in.  I didn't want to say or do anything that made me appear unfit to wear the crown, so unfortunately, I didn't say or do much at all.  In hindsight, I wish I had the confidence to truly be myself, just for the sake of getting the most out my experience.
• Summary: The crown is meant to fit the girl, not the other way around.

Miss Finger Lakes 2009

• Placement: 2nd Runner Up
• Growth: After my experience at Miss NY, I felt SO ready to explore other talent selections of a classical nature.  Don't get me wrong, I wasn't "sandbagging", but I was a voice major with classical training, and for the average pageant contestant, that's a pretty nice advantage in the talent department.  I picked a mezzo-soprano aria, "Habanera" from Carmen, and performed in a fun red gown.  It was well-known, relatively easy to learn, and didn't require me to spend hours in the practice room mastering difficult technique.  Lo and behold on pageant day, we find out that the judging panel has not one, but TWO opera singers on it.  For real!?  Everyone thought I was excited about it, "Wow, that's awesome for you, right?!"  Ummm, no?  If you were demonstrating karate as a talent, would you want to be evaluated by Bruce Lee?  All things considered, I did well, but they did seek me out afterwards to say "Yeah, you need to be singing actual soprano literature that is much more challenging than this".  Busted.
• Summary: Just because something comes easily to you, it does not mean you shouldn't put in the maximum effort. 

Miss Southeast NY 2009

• Placement: 3rd Runner Up
• Growth: This was the furthest I had ever traveled to compete in a local, and while I was kind of terrified to be competing in an area I had never before been to, I was also excited.  It was all kinds of new at every corner, and was a really fun production to be a part of.  I think I was trying too hard to be what I thought the judges wanted, and while I was very proud of my placement, I also almost placed face-first onto the stage in swimsuit because I got a little excited about my French turn.
• Summary: You don't have to march to the same beat as everyone else.  It also doesn't hurt to get your dress tailored...

Miss Thousand Islands 2010

• Placement: 1st Runner Up
• Growth: This was the first Miss Thousand Islands pageant I was eligible to compete in since my reign in 2008, and I was so excited to get back on the Opera House stage as a contestant.  In hindsight, this was probably the most authentic self I presented to a judging panel since the year I won, and I felt really great on stage.  While I didn't walk away with the crown, I was really happy and at peace with my performance and placement.
• Summary: You don't have to feel like you're a failure just because you didn't win.  I don't think there's anything I would have changed about my performance that day, but that doesn't mean I was the best choice.

Miss Finger Lakes 2010

• Placement: 4th Runner Up 
• Growth: This pageant was a slew of ups and downs for me personally, and while I feel like I performed well overall, it just wasn't a great night.  From wardrobe mishaps (completely my own fault, no sabotage whatsoever) to prop failures during talent, it just felt like I was going through the motions and wasn't actually enjoying myself.  It was also the first pageant I had competed in while working full time as a music teacher, and I have to admit that it was a different experience trying to prepare while I had so much on my plate professionally.  On the flip side, one of my dearest friends won, and was the only contestant in the top 5 who had not previously competed at Miss NY!  I was so very excited for her that it really didn't matter how I felt anymore, and it was a perfect end to an exhausting weekend.
• Summary: Deserving something requires hard work...but also the right intentions.  Striving to get a ticket to Miss NY while wearing a sash from an area that I did not have any ties to started to feel disingenuous to me.  Each time I placed, I felt like I took a spot away from a girl who really wanted it for the right reasons, and I was brought back to how I felt in my many non-finalist moments at Miss TI.  I decided I'd do one more Miss TI pageant before I aged out, and if it wasn't meant to be, I would forge a new path.

Miss Thousand Islands 2011

• Placement: 1st Runner Up
• Growth: This was the toughest pageant pill I had ever had to swallow, and I spent weeks feeling lousy and questioning myself.  I just felt so strong on stage, and for the first time in my life, won a talent award!  (Awarded by my future mother-in-law)  Don't get me wrong, I was excited to place so high, but I had put all my eggs in this basket, and to have my pageant journey end so abruptly felt so...final.  It wasn't until several months later that I realized several things: 
• I had a plan.  God had a different plan.  God always wins.  Does God even get involved with matters as menial as pageantry?  Who knows.  Regardless, I could mentally rationalize that winning again wasn't in the cards for me, and that there was another path in store, but I just couldn't immediately see it and I. Did. Not. Like. That.
• Follow-up: The Miss NY Pageant that year happened to fall during Regents week.  As a full-time employee, you don't really get "pageant leave" and were I to have won, I would have likely had to either resign my title, or give up my job.  Again: I had a plan, God had a better plan.
• God also had a plan for the lucky girl that walked away from that pageant the rightful winner.  She has been an instrumental part of our organization and has given so much of her time and expertise to the Miss TI organization.  There would be no complete #GoldenSisterhood without her in it.
• I. Was. Trying. Too. Hard.  Thankfully, I'm good at using my failures as teachable moments to others.  Onstage, I don't think I'd have changed anything, but my interview (while factually and grammatically on point) was aggressive and probably preachy.  That's not who I was when I won three years prior, and that's not who deserved the crown that evening.  All talent awards and points aside, I really wanted to win...but didn't truly deserve it.  That was probably the toughest part to come to terms with, but is the truth.
• Summary: Life hands you lemons so that you can make lemonade.  Maybe you don't want it, or even like lemonade, but you need it.  So drink the damn lemonade, because it's good for you.

Miss Thousand Islands 2011-2013

• Placement: Board Member
• Growth: Hello from the other siiiiiiide!  There was a substantial amount of growth earned in these three years, as I think I was the first Miss TI to serve on the board of directors.  I learned so very much about the administrative side of things (i.e. the INSANE amount of work it takes to run a pageant...and to run it well) and I'd like to think that the board learned a bit about what it feels like from a titleholder perspective.  I surmise that we both shaped each other in positive ways, and it was a fantastic opportunity to mentor and support each titleholder.  It was also during this time (through pageantry, I might add) that I found my husband-to-be through my former judge and talent award donor, Deltra Willis.  God does have a way of making things work out for the best! :) 
• Summary: When you give back to those who have given so much to you, the rewards are endless.  (No, I did not steal this from a fortune cookie)

Miss Central New York 2014-2015
   

• Placement: Co-Executive Director
• Growth:  My dear friend Amy and I were discussing our pageant journeys one day, and had this crazy idea: 1) the Central New York region has little to no representation at Miss NY 2) We should be the ones to make it happen (despite the fact that neither of us have any ties to the CNY area whatsoever).  While it was sad to leave the Miss TI board, it was an exciting, difficult, but very rewarding journey calling the shots in a new endeavor.  We had two amazing young women and teens that we were able to work with as our titleholders, and we were able to offer the girls who competed with us a chance to learn, grow, and become better versions of themselves.  To be honest, we wanted to make our own "Miss TI experience" and offer it to others, and while it was short lived and maybe could never measure up to the actual Miss TI standards, we were very proud of our organization.
• Summary: Flying solo, while terrifying at times, is filled with a plethora of learning experiences and opportunities for betterment.

Miss Thousand Islands 2016-2019

• Placement: Board Member
• Growth: At this point, I've run the full gamut.  Contestant, titleholder, board member, auditor, judge, and executive director.  Seeing the pageant world from nearly every perspective possible gave me such an appreciation for the entire process, and I was excited to be welcomed back home with open arms after our Miss CNY tenure had run its course.  Working primarily with talent and production number music, I feel like I found my niche, and thoroughly enjoyed making backing tracks for the crazy-talented contestants, titleholders and performers that were a part of our productions.  When I listen back to some of my first mixes, I cringe, but with the guidance of my superstar husband and my ears, I was able to improve exponentially with each task, and to this day I get immense satisfaction out of making backing tracks and arranging music.
• Summary: Well-roundedness, while maybe not the key to sheer excellence, is definitely one of the keys to success.

It's no coincidence that you see the Miss Thousand Islands Pageant in my timeline so often.  If you ask anyone about the pageant, it is simply stated: it's the best.  The Miss Thousand Islands Organization and its board of directors not only boasted being the longest consecutively run local pageant in New York, but it also cared deeply about its contestants, welcoming them all into their Golden Sisterhood regardless of where they come from, their experience, or their performance ability.  While not every contestant that crossed our stage won, EVERY contestant felt loved, welcomed, and grew immensely from the time and dedication that the Miss TI board prides itself on bestowing upon each girl who chooses to compete.  

You would be hard pressed to find an organization that is being run behind the scenes by a majority of former competitors and titleholders.  There's a huge reason why we choose to volunteer, and it's because the things that we have gained, not just as competitors but as human beings, are things we could never repay the organization and its volunteers for.  So we do what we can.  No one walks away from the title of Miss Thousand Islands without having undergone a complete 180 makeover of their mind, heart, and soul, and to that we owe the board and volunteers (primarily Sue, Shelby, and Gary) more than we could ever give.  

In fact, many of our personal, professional and familial successes can in some way be traced back to something we have gleaned through our pageant experience, and that is so much more than just bestowing a scholarship to a contestant and placing a sparkly tiara on a young woman's head.  It's helping her forge her path.  It's empowering her.  It's teaching her that she is in control of her body and mind.  It's changing her life.

To summarize how I truly feel about this organization would take a short novel, and I know that brevity is not my strong suit, hence this incredibly long post.  To summarize how I feel about the Miss Thousand Islands Organization in less than 30 seconds?  (Us pageant girls are great at this):

I have been changed for good.

Corri's Post-Christmas Naughty & Nice (Play)List

Hello friends, and Merry Christmas to you!

Since Christmas Day is officially behind us, one of my favorite radio stations has ceased its nonstop December Christmas music marathon.  Sad face.  Hearing many of the same, quintessential holiday songs in different arrangements made me nostalgic for my Christmas post in 2014 where I rated the top 10 best/worst holiday songs.  I re-visited the list today and noticed that not only do I have additional songs to add to both lists, but that I disagree with my past self on a few of the items.  Go figure.  Here is my 2017 version of the top five best and worst Christmas songs.  Enjoy, and let me know what you think!

Worst:

5) Winter Wonderland - The Eurythmics
I heard this song on the radio several times this season, and I found myself wanting to pull over out of fear each time the intro played.  The rest of the song is ok, but humor me for a second, and imagine this introduction without vocals.  The 80s synthesizer of death is beyond terrifying, and needs to go.

4) Step into Christmas - Elton John
I don't actually mind this song all that much.  I think it's clever, catchy, and kind of fun, actually.  Much like it's predecessor on this list though, I have a huge problem with one part, and it ruins the song for me completely.  After the first or second refrain, each time he says "The admission's free", it sounds like you just lost a life in a game of Number Munchers.  Who sat in the mixing booth and decided that should remain in the final cut?  Yuck.

3) All I Want for Christmas is You - Vince Vance & The Valiants ft. Lisa Layne
Maybe it's just because I am not a huge country fan that I don't like this song, but every time it comes on, it feels like a low budget dirty movie soundtrack to me.  Her voice is just so rugged and out of control that I don't enjoy listening to it.  I do feel badly that the title of their song got hijacked and ultimately ended in much more popularity than the original, but I would contest that the Mariah Carey song which shares this title is much better.

2) I Like a Sleigh Ride (Jingle Bells) - Peggy Lee
If you can get past the 14 "I Like a Sleigh Ride" repetitions to get into the meat of the song, it's actually not too bad, but anytime the children come back in with that horrific part, any progress made is irrevocably undone.  Did she lose a bet?  Did she owe someone a favor?  Who is thinking that these children ADD to this holiday song?  Not I.  Not I, indeed.

1) Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas - Christina Aguilera
I hadn't ever heard this arrangement until a few days ago, and about halfway through the first verse, my husband and I could not stop laughing.  While Miss Aguilera is arguably one of the most vocally acrobatic of singers, her interpretation in most of her music makes the resulting song un-singable.  The only thing worse than not being able to sing along to a song on the radio is not being able to sing along with a Christmas song on the radio, and Xtina makes that goal absolutely impossible to meet.  A lot of times less is more, and by oversinging every phrase to the point of hilarity, it almost makes the song feel like a mockery.  Oversinging might drive the point home that you are capable of incredibly difficult melismas and runs, but it also highlights your inability to think musically and to put what enhances the song's meaning above what enhances your vocal abilities.

Best:

5) I Love the Winter Weather - Tony Bennett
This song is soon underrated!  I don't remember hearing it prior to this Christmas season, but I heard it several times and it just made me so jolly.  His voice has such an easiness to it that I find incredibly relaxing.  The way the piece ties in with "I've Got My Love to Keep Me Warm" also doesn't hurt, since that is one of my favorite wintertime songs as well.

4) Winter Wonderland - Jason Mraz
I think we can all agree that this is one of the most coveted of carols to cover (pretty good alliteration, amiright?), but as is the case with most songs with a high quantity of covers, most are average at best, and few are high quality and different enough to both separate itself from the original, while still doing it homage.  This song, in my opinion, does a fantastic job at both.  His plucky and rhythmic accompaniment suits his voice impeccably, and changes the piece in a really fun way without making it unrecognizable.  Kudos, Jason Mraz.  Ya done good.

3) Sleigh Ride
While many re-makes of this song are great, this recording is my favorite.  Some songs are, well, just perfect the first time around.  While I don't mind re-imaginings of this classic piece, this one will always be the best for me.

I am mildly annoyed, though, that someone decided to add lyrics, because now I sing the lyrics in my head when I hear the instrumental version and I feel like it is overshadowing my attempt to hear the story from the instrumental perspective, which may have nothing to do with the chestnuts going "pop pop pop!".  It's sort of like seeing the movie before the book, and being unable to visualize the characters in a way other than the appearance of the actors or actresses.

(There COULD NOT be a better thumbnail for this video)

2) Carol of the Bells - Pentatonix
I know I mentioned in my post from three years ago that any Pentatonix Christmas arrangement is a contender, but I feel this one needs to be called out on its own.  Is it lovely?  Yes.  Is the arrangement equal parts complex and yet recognizable?  Also yes.  But let's focus for a moment on a part that I think is utterly brilliant, and most likely unappreciated: the magic that is 2:18.  What is Mitch even doing?  It's not really human.  His accuracy and delicacy with a run that is both lengthy and very complex is astounding to me.  I'm not naive enough to believe that he sang it through the four or five times it is played in this recording, as I'm sure it was recorded and replayed, but the fact that he can do it even once that well is enough to make me a lovely shade of holly green with envy.  Well done, indeed!

1) We Need a Little Christmas - Johnny Mathis
So, after those accolades, what could top that?  None other than Johnny Mathis, of course!  What I love specifically about this rendition of this song is the same thing that I love about The Drifters' version of White Christmas: the unabashed, full throttle passion of the singer.  While this song is fantastic in its own merit, and I love the bouncy joviality of it, just do me a favor and listen to the last 15 seconds.  Johnny Mathis slays that note, and there's absolutely nothing half-assed about it.  Plus, this was likely recorded in a time (also like the Drifters' piece) where they weren't necessarily able to stop and re-record in the middle of phrases, and I respect them so much more for having to do complete takes with crazy accuracy.  Nowadays, singers can go measure by measure, hell, even beat by beat until they get it, or just slosh their way through a piece and correct it with auto-tuning later.  Props to you, Johnny Mathis, for killing it on probably the first take, and not backing away from a crazy powerful high note ending, despite having likely exhausted yourself singing the whole song with unmatchable gusto.

Thanks for reading, and again, let me know if you have others you think I missed!  Merry Christmas, and Happy New Year!

Wrapping up Christmas - 10 Tips for Gift Wrapping Success

As Christmas draws near, I actually find myself ready for the glorious gift-giving extravaganza.  Having been a consistent December 23rd shopper in the past, this is kind of a big deal, a lot of which I attribute to the wee one that is now a part of my life.  Something that has always been special to me, though, has been gift wrapping.

Back in the day, the reigning Miss Thousand Islands was invited to wrap gifts at Borders Book Store in the mall (God, I miss that store...) and even in the years where I wasn't the winner, I found myself there helping.  I take the role of third wheel to an alarming degree, I suppose.  Anyway, it was those experiences and people that taught me a lot about the efficiency needed for the basics, and how to gift wrap some obscenely large and obtuse gifts.

Another thing my memory draws upon this time of year is the creativity my father exhibited while wrapping gifts.  Tissue paper, curling ribbon, bows, spacial awareness and symmetry were all cleverly put to work in any given one of my father's gifts to another person.

I guess I felt, with the big day being tomorrow, I would share some of the things I have learned in hopes that it might make your holiday a little more festive.  Without further adieu, I present ten pieces of advice for wrapping, and decorating, your gifts this holiday season.

1) Invest in the best.
I learned this the hard way this year as I was re-using some of the wrapping paper I had purchased last year.  While the roll had a lot more paper on it than other rolls I had purchased, it wasn't labeled "heavy duty" and therefore ripped when a heavier package was being maneuvered.  I have since purchased some heavy duty wrap, and while it is a bit pricier and may not go as far, it certainly looks cleaner and doesn't tear as easily.  It's sort of like toilet paper; you can go cheap and 'get more', or you can invest a little more for the two-ply brand and have a softer, cleaner bum.

While we're on the topic of purchasing, it's hard to wrap gifts properly if you don't plan ahead.  It's sort of like when I go grocery shopping without a list, and get a bunch of food items that have no business going together.  Planning out color schemes for ribbons, bows, and paper is important, so taking an inventory of what you have already vs. what you need will help you to plan ahead and not purchase things that have a low probability of being used.

2) Measure.
Many styles of wrapping paper now come with a grid on the flip side, which assists in this step greatly.  A lot of the time, especially with bigger packages, you can merely count how many squares occupy the long end, double it, and then do the same for the width, which saves moving a large and heavy parcel that could tear the paper if you're not careful.

A lot of times, I only measure for the length, because who wants to have to awkwardly cut a swatch to fill the gap in between the ends of the paper?  Having excess paper on the short ends of the packages, though, also presents its own problems, especially with folding.  You should always trim any excess off the ends to ease the folding process, although measuring beforehand will alleviate the problem altogether.

3) There's more than one way to skin a cat.
Yuck.  This isn't a literal piece of advice, thankfully.  For far too long, however, I was only instructed in my tried and true way of folding in the ends of wrapping paper, as evidenced below:

Eventually, one of my gift wrapping gurus showed me an additional way to wrap the ends of a gift, which I now use more frequently:

Upon further research, I think this is how most people are traditionally taught to wrap the ends of paper, but I will say having two methods is helpful in different scenarios.

4) I'm on the edge, of glory.
Speaking of edges, now is a good time to suggest that ALL edges of the gift wrap be folded before they are taped down.  Especially if you cut paper with scissors as horrendously as I do, this step serves to completely remove any evidence of scissors-related debauchery.  It also cleans up the look, as things will appear more parallel and less ragged.

5)  To see, or not to see.  That is the question.
This one is up to personal taste, but if clean wrapping and visual aesthetics are your goal, then it is a good suggestion to utilize the magic that is double sided tape, or my new favorite adhesive, glue dots.  It doesn't make sense to measure paper meticulously and fold edges for the sake of perfection if the scotch tape is going to be visible and disrupt the line you've created, or hidden, depending on the gift wrap.  I don't personally mind the tape being visible, as it's not easily seen, but I would encourage those of us who do err on the side of visible tape to place it "with the grain" or parallel to the wrapping paper, rather than perpendicular.  It is a more efficient use of adhesive, and is not as easily spotted.

6) Think outside the box.
Literally.  Sometimes, the gift is just too square a peg to fit the round hole you're trying to jam it into.  In cases like this, remember that gifts can be just as beautifully presented in a purchased box, or a gift bag, and saves you a lot of time and hassle.  Oftentimes, you can also wrap cylindrical gifts, as shown below, by having an excess of wrapping paper on one end that you can tie off with curling ribbon.  Keep in mind the implicit need for heavy duty wrapping paper, though.

7) Simple vs. ornate.
I don't necessarily feel that one gift wrap type is better than the other, as decisions for each are purely circumstantial.  The decor decisions needing to be made are pretty straightforward, though.  With ornate wrapping paper, such as flamboyant patterns, Christmas scenes, or characters, less is more with decor.  The paper itself is a statement, and needs little else to balance it out.  This type of paper is usually a better fit for bigger packages, which provide a larger canvas with which to portray the paper.  Simple colored ribbon matching a more subtle accent color within the design could be enough, but be sure to avoid having too much stuff, as it can often appear cluttered or tacky.

Simple, on the other hand, can be much more fun and malleable.  A simple multi-colored, or even single colored paper has so many possibilities.  Ribbons, bows, or a combination of both can work wonders in contrasting colors from the paper, or accented colors within it.  Should you have the paper without the measuring boxes on the flip side, using the opposite side of the paper to wrap (which is usually white) gives you an endless amount of color options to use for decor, giving you an opportunity to use less conventional and more unique hues such as purple. pink, orange, yellow, etc.

8) I've got a blank space, baby.
Or at least, I hope you do.  Filling up the entire canvas, much like a work of art, is visually confusing and very loud.  Consider a few things when analyzing your spatial situation: package size, type and location of desired decoration, type of paper, name tag size and shape, empty space (to allow the decoration design some breathing room).  Not EVERYTHING has to be in the center or in the top left corner, you know.  Mix it up a bit!  Put name tags in the center with bows above or below.  Put ribbons off center and to the left, and accent them with a contrasting shaped to/from tag.  There are endless ways to use your space when finalizing your gift, so make sure to map it out before making it permanent.

9) Spice up your life.
While waiting for my most recent dentist appointment, I was reading a christmas decor magazine, and found four really easy ways to add decor to your packages.  Tinsel balls, colored medallions, themed holiday shapes made from wire, or paper cone-shaped trees.  While I didn't elect to use the cone trees, and immensely struggled with the wire-bending, I felt that the diversity of the bow decor helped my gifts have more personality, and not look so same-y.  Even if my craft floor is now facing the unclean-able wrath of cut up tinsel shrapnel.

10) Curly is not your only option.
This year, for the first time, I purchased (yes, I'll admit it was accidental) non-curling ribbon.  The horror!  I really didn't know what to do with it, but I tried it with a few packages and I found that, much like the diversity in bows, the differences in ribbon really complemented some of the gifts I was wrapping.  I also had fun making some of them out of the ordinary, as shown below, with contrasting colors to really make a statement.  Is it a great statement?  Probably not, but it looks purty to me and I received a lot of satisfaction out of making it come to life.

In summary, I need to tell you that I am not the best gift wrapper in the world.  By FAR.  I think Shelby Cohen probably is.  She is the Obi Wan that taught this little Jedi-wrapper all her skills, but at the end of the day, everyone does it differently, and that's why gift-wrapping is so special.  Some gifts are casual, while some are more elegantly adorned.  Others are wrapped by that last-minute Tasmanian devil friend we all have with serial killer handwriting, and sometimes those are the best ones to see.  Whatever your gift wrapping style, know that it matters little what it is, and more that it is wrapped with love, and is a gift that is thoughtful and meaningful.

Happiest of Holidays, and Merry Christmas!

5 Tips to Ace Back-to-School Season

Hey, it's 2017, and welcome back to the goings-on of my brain.

As a teacher, going back to school triggers a lot of emotions that aren't present in my non-teacher friends' lives, and this is certainly not a complaint, as having the summer to spend with my family and baby has been incredible, to say the least.  It's more like a feeling of empowerment-and-readiness-to-take-on-the-world-which-will-likely-be-diluted-by-the-time-Christmas-rolls-around, but let's stay positive, people!

If you search the inter webs, which on any given occasion can be a dangerous thing to do, there are a lot of people out there with feels about back-to-school mayhem.  As I have a lot of experience with school (I mean, I AM going to be in school for the next couple of decades...) I figured this would be an appropriate time to share some advice with you, be you a nervous student, anxious teacher, giddy parent, or neutral observer.  Without further adieu, here are five things to keep mind of while preparing for this oh so magical time of the year:

1. Teachers are not the enemy.
Parents, this one's for you.  Thankfully, I have had few negative run-ins with parents over the years, but they exist, and trust me when I say they are more emotionally draining and sleep depriving than even the most obnoxious of students.

Something about this generation (no, Millennials, this isn't actually a jab at you) of PARENTS has me quite perplexed.  It seems that there is this notion that the teachers who are there to educate, inspire, and sometimes -GOD FORBID- discipline your perfect cherubs are somehow culpable when said child gets into trouble.  I know I am not a parent of a school-aged child yet, but I have been unnecessarily antagonized via e-mails and phone calls enough to be able to suggest a better way to go about student-teacher conflict.

• STEP 1 - talk to your child about the situation, and most importantly, know that this is ONE HALF of the story, and chances are, the least mature/honest half.  Not trying to diss your baby, it's just science.
• STEP 2 - Approach the teacher in a neutral and friendly manner.  While you are responsible for your precious baby (or two, or three, etc.) remember that they are responsible for dozens, possibly hundreds of students.  While your child is important to the teacher, they are not MORE important than any other student, or the greater good of all students, so try to at least understand that perspective when communicating with them.  Side note: the teacher is much less likely to get back to you ASAP if you appear rude, snarky, or aggressive when contacting them.  Speaking from experience here, people.  A concerned parent?  I'll hear you out.  Angry parent?  No, thanks.  I'll wait for you to simmer.

• STEP 3 - Make every effort to really listen to what the teacher is saying, and try to paint a picture of the full situation.  Remember, you know your child better than the teacher (I hope...) and you will have a better idea of what is going on, but only AFTER you get both sides.  Please know that the teacher does not hate your child, and does not wish them failure; it's just not a part of who we are or what we do (if you're in teaching for the right reasons, that is).  Keep an open mind, and try to listen more than speak.  You were given two ears and one mouth for a reason, use them in that ratio.

2. Be cool.  Be YOU.
This one's for my students.  I have found a new resurgence of the importance of this mantra after a recent school project was assigned regarding advice to your senior self.  After I shared an alarming amount of pseudo-embarrassing senior pictures of myself on social media, I found that it was just as relevant as it ever was that we need to care so much less about how we are perceived.  Social media, the news, cliques, magazines, advertisements and bullies all try to control how we feel about ourselves, and once you relinquish their ability to have that control, your possibilities are endless.  I know that it is much easier said than done, but I can't explain the liberation you will feel once you stop caring.  To put it in perspective: Do you know what sucks temporarily?  Insecure people making fun of you because, well, they're insecure and probably jealous.  Do you know what sucks permanently?

Regret.  

Regret for not standing up for someone.  Regret for not pursuing a hobby.  Regret for hiding who you really are in favor of who you think people want you to be.  It sucks, guys, and high schoolers are right in the thick of it.  Kids are struggling to define who they are, and people are jumping down their throats left and right trying to manipulate and belittle their self-image.  If YOU are the champion of YOU, and can see that people only bring you down as a temporary high for themselves, YOU will overcome the negativity.  And probably be way cooler than them at your 10-year reunion.

3. A little goes a long way.
This is a shout out for my teacher friends.  Save for the year I was long-term subbing and living with my parents, I don't actually LOVE staying later than contract hours.  Once you have a spouse and/or children, it's hard to be apart from them any longer than needed because of work.  I get it.  Humor me, though, and think about the most inspirational teacher you had.  I know you have one, we all do.  It's why we've taken this burdensome task of educating with pride, and forged ahead.  Did that inspirational teacher leave every day at the bell?  Did he or she repeat the same exact lesson plans year after year, with no diversity or expectation of change?  Did they spurn creative questions and hinder any attempt at healthy, educational tangents and teachable moments?  Did they consider you "just another number", and never cared about your personal growth alongside your academic nourishment?  Chances are, the answer to most if not all of these questions is no.  That's why that teacher rocked.  What I'm getting at is, as I'm sure you know, we have the power to change the world.  To inspire.  To prepare.  To challenge.  Sometimes, the only way this can be adequately translated to student populations is to give a little bit more.  Stay a bit later.  Care a bit more.  Volunteer a few more times.  Attend a couple more school events or games.  You know your children and your spouse, and you know what they need and can live with or without, regarding your work schedule.  While always keeping a healthy family life at the forefront, try giving more to your students in ways that are meaningful to them, but doable for you.  I promise, you won't be disappointed.

4. Empathize.
This kind of piggybacks off of point #4, and is definitely for errbody.  When something goes on that is unexpected, usually unfavorably so, before you react, think: "Why is this person acting this way?"  Unfortunately, in the middle of a lesson, we don't get much time to think before we have to react to a problem until the entire class is derailed, so this might have to take some time, and pattern-scavenging before the answer is realized.  From my experience, people who consistently act out are desperately seeking attention.  Realizing that isn't very helpful, but understanding why can be.  When we put ourselves in someone else's shoes, we are able to better rationalize their behavior, which can make or break your relationship with a person.  From my perspective as a teacher, it's simple: it's not about power, it's about understanding.  As soon as you walk into a classroom intending to be judge, jury, and executioner, you've lost.

Let me be clear: the ability to rationalize one's behavior rarely makes their actions excusable, and you may still need to be firm and deal with consequences.  However, in going forward, you now possess information that will allow you to better control, and possibly event prevent future instances of the offending action, and that makes all the difference.

5. Checkpoint!
Say what you will about teachers and their "measly 180 days of work", but until you've walked a mile in our orthopedic shoes (usually it's about five trips to and from the copier for me) it's not a fair assessment.  It is a long and often arduous journey that feels like it will never end, and goes all too quickly at the same time.  My point?  It can be difficult to see the light at the end of the tunnel, so I try to pace myself and go month by month, sometimes even week by week if I need to, with various checkpoints of freedom.  For example...the first checkpoint might be (if you need it) Columbus Day.  "I've just got to make it to Columbus Day, and I'll be fine".  Checkpoint #2 is Veteran's Day or Thanksgiving break, followed by Christmas break, and by that time we've already put in four months and the year is almost half done.  Maybe this works better for some than others, but for me it breaks what is surely an unmanageably long year into manageable bite-size pieces, and that my friends, works for me.

I don't claim to be perfect.  I know I don't have all the answers, but I feel like I can view school from multiple angles, and offer what is hopefully some useful advice that provides some clarity and objective points of view as we all embark on this exciting, but surely exhausting, 2017-2018 school year.  Whether you be student, parent, or teacher, I wish you the best of all things this school year, and don't forget to get that b#^&% a yellow binder.  (see below if you're confused)

Five Reasons Why Pokemon GO Isn't the Antichrist

Let me tell you a story...

Once upon a time, there were two children who grew up from humble beginnings.  Just about all of their technology was a hand me down, and likely a generation behind, but that did not stop them from enjoying what little they had.  The really cool Game Boy Advance came out, and guess what these two children found whilst garage sale-ing one hot, summer day?

Yes, that's right.  NOT a Game Boy Advance.  It was new, who in their right mind would give it up at a garage sale?  It did force people to pawn off their old OG Game Boys, though, so each child received a hand me down, beat up, but workable portal of electronic dreams, complete with games such as Paperboy, Mortal Kombat, and Contra.  Life was good.

Then Pokemon came out.  The children realized they HAD to have the games.  They watched the show each morning they could, and were instantly entranced by the little pocket monsters.  The young girl got Pokemon Blue, while her older brother got Pokemon Red, once they had saved up enough money of course.  These were the first NEW games for their Game Boys, and boy were they excited!  They even found a way to be able to share, and trade the Pokemon that they caught!

If you haven't already realized, the children are my brother and me, and we lived our modest Pokemon dreams fiercely until, like most children, other things in life got in the way.

Fast forward about 18 years and Pokemon GO comes out.  Are you kidding me?  This game gives you the opportunity to catch Pokemon in your own backyard?  Sign me up!  As with everything that gives some immense joy, however, there is another soul-sucking percentage of the population which has to demean and criticize what others are doing rather than minding their own business (click here for more of my thoughts on that), which has finally prompted me to share with you "Five Reasons Why Pokemon GO Isn't the Antichrist"

1) It's attempting to get people out and on the move.

   The whole point of Pokemon GO is to get outside and move.  If you're new to the game, read up on it here.  While yes, there are ways you can play while as a passenger in a vehicle instead of walking/biking, or more creative ways of cheating like this, the premise of the game is to get people out and interacting with the world while enjoying what was likely a childhood pastime.  I mean, let's be honest, if this game didn't force people to be outside and they were instead at home behind computer screens no one would give a damn about it, but because it has become a public phenomenon, all of a sudden everyone has an opinion on it.  I don't remember the average American posting memes and being up in arms when college students were dropping out because they skipped class to play World of Warcraft all day.  Yet this harmless, kid-friendly (and did I mention FREE?) app has the Poke-haters' panties all in a bunch.  What gives, world?

   I know what you're going to say.  "Harmless?  I think not!  People are blindly walking into the streets, getting hit by cars, getting in accidents left and right, and we are putting our children in danger of trespassing and potential encounters with child predators."  There's one thing I can say to really address all those points at once and it's this: teach your children to not be idiots.  Kids can learn- I know, I do it for a living.  If your kids know not to run into traffic, or trespass, or commiserate with strange people, they won't do it regardless of if a person, game, or sign prompts or invites them to.  Regarding vehicular accidents?  Well, let's just boil it down to anyone playing Pokemon GO in the car and getting into an accident because of it was probably bound to get into an accident anyway.

2) It's  kind of brilliant.

   I remember a few years back, my husband was playing something called Ingress, which was also an augmented reality type game.  He explained it to me, and it sounded so fun!  It, unfortunately, did not come on iPhones, so I jealously watched him play on his team and try to "take over" landmarks in the town.  It seemed like such a blast!  Mixing that concept with a well-known and catchy 90s game that had developed and grown over the last decade wields Pokemon GO, and I am actually surprised that this idea hadn't developed sooner.

   The idea of going out and "catching them all" is a riveting one, and one that got so many people intrigued that it currently is the most downloaded free app (beating out apps like Snapchat and Facebook) and also the highest grossing app (beating out contenders like Candy Crush and Game of War).  Some true-blue fans are upset that the game deviates too much from the original, which having played the original I can attest to, but I'm not at all butt-hurt about it.  The nature of this game is so different from the original that it can't really be expected to mirror it.  It's also not made by Nintendo, a point that many stockholders are bummed to realize, which likely contributes to some of the differences.  I guess my point is if you want to play the original game, that's what the original game is for.  This version can't properly address the points of an augmented reality game effectively without also compromising some of the traditional aspects of the original game.  Plus, it likely wants to separate itself, and let's be real: trying to turn a profit (which it seems to be doing quite well) is a factor, too.

3) It's no worse than the other games or activities in which the "haters" probably indulge.

   Let's be real, here.  You could say "Why do people waste their time playing Pokemon GO?"  but insert just about any game or activity in the blank and you could justify why it was stupid.  Point being, we all have different tastes in how we choose to spend our free time.  Some find it a waste of time to work out, some think quilting is a dumb hobby, and others believe the Candy Crush games are utterly pointless and stupid.  They are all right, and they are all wrong, depending on who you speak with.  My philosophy on this is much like my philosophy on doughnuts: in moderation, they are ok!  And it is so true.  No one judges POGO haters for what they do in their spare time, so why all the backlash for POGO players?  Oh, because it's public.  I see.

    This hurts my 11 year-old heart.  :(  It's not even so much because this criticizes the game, so much as it unabashedly demeans those who choose to play it.  So it's stupid to play POGO, but cool to lounge in your PJs and play Criminal Case behind a computer screen all day?  Pokemon Go is stupid, but golfing in 90 degree weather drinking beer and and getting sunburned for six hours is cool?  I'm not condemning any of these activities, but the point is that this childish rationale of what is "stupid" can be applied to anything; it's just about perspective.  Everyone has hobbies, and some of your friends think those hobbies suck, and some of them think they are great.  Let's all play nice and not make fun of what others choose to do with their time.
   I have seen and experienced what I like to call PokeShame.  This is when, while playing POGO (usually at a well known PokeStop or Gym), you see or are approached by a person or persons, so you casually hold your phone by your side as if you're not trying to get a super potion, three Poke balls and a Razz berry.  Be proud of your Pokemon quest, young friends!  There is (or should be) no shame in taking advantage of a clever, and harmless app that thrives with imagination!  Again, I did use the word "moderation", so while I don't condone the 24/7 sitting by the gym defending it and wandering around streets aimlessly with no consideration of others, the occasional POGO session is by all accounts, a refreshing and healthy break from reality, which is what a good game should be.

4) It's collaborative.

   I watched a set of parents go Pokemon hunting with their kids the other day, and I thought it was darling.  News stories have covered local gatherings of people who plan Pokemon hang outs at specific times.  Siblings, friends, and significant others can go on walks together capturing Ratattas and Pidgeys.  Life is good, friends!  For once, interacting with others in a video game actually requires you to interact with them!  I don't exactly see the harm in this.  Oh wait, do you actually like getting Candy Crush invitations and FarmVille requests?  Oh, then by all means, carry on...

5) It's allowing 90s kids to live a dream they thought was only attainable from behind a screen.

   Again, I feel like I know what you are going to say, "That's the point!  All these damn millennials are walking around with their faces buried in their screens with no regard for the world around them!"  While that's not exactly a glowing review of how one should probably play the game, the point is that they aren't explicitly behind the screen anymore, but focused on what's in front of the screen, which is the real world!  There's just an animated Charmander there, too

   The bottom line of this point is: who wouldn't want to live their childhood dream?  Girls who played with Barbies always wanted to be the Barbies.  Boys playing with Ninja Turtles wanted to drive a Turtle Van and fight crime like the TMNT.  We all had childhood games we played, and childhood fantasies that went with them.  So now we get a taste of our younger selves' dreams, and you're going to write and share memes that criticize use for wasting our time?

   Do you know what I think is a waste of time?  No, you don't, because I generally don't post about it.  Your business is your business, and mine is mine.  I guess I would have just thought more of my social media peeps than to bash and belittle people for playing a game that is so innocent and rooted in childhood fantasy and play...and actually tries to motivate people to get outside for once!  The same people that find fault with this are the same ones that likely say "This generation never uses their imagination to play outdoors.  When I was young, we didn't have cell phones and had to make up our own games."  Well, now we can have the best of both worlds, and people are very quick to criticize.  I do wanna be the very best, people, and I do wanna catch 'em all, but your snarky posts and holier than thou memes make me feel like a heel for wanting to spend my free time doing this while I take my hella-cute baby for a walk.  What gives?

   Save for a few crazies in the group of POGO players around the world- which you'll also find in just about any other hobby- we're really not a bad bunch.  We don't hurt people, we don't fight (unless it's a Pokemon battle in a gym), and we certainly don't criticize you for your hobbies.  So please, before you share that snarky meme or post about how stupid and time consuming this hobby is, take a step back, determine if every single minute of your day is spent productively, and then reconsider.

Sincerely,

A budding Poke Master

"Life is Hard": thoughts from my 8th graders and things I no longer have time for...

...like figuring out how to properly capitalize the rest of that title.  I must have tried it at least three different ways before I just gave up and succumbed to uncapitalized letters.  Whatev.

So yeah, it's been awhile.  Despite what my husband believes, I don't actually enjoy making excuses, although I tend to have more than my share of them.  Here are the excuses, er, reasons I've been absent these past few months:

• Full time job
• Beginning my school's musical
• Christmas concerts galore
• Buying a new house
• Moving into said house
• Taking a psychology class online
• Studying for said class' midterm and final
• Preparing and proposing my thesis for my graduate degree
• Being pregnant

One of my 8th graders said what we're all thinking the other day in class, and I have to echo her sentiments wholly, "Life is hard".  I can't remember exactly what we were discussing to make this realization hit her hard enough to vocalize it to the chorus, but it got a chuckle out of me, as I sarcastically responded with something akin to, "Yes, my little chickadee, life as an 8th grader is really difficult, but I assure you that your life gets no easier than it is right now."  She, and the rest of the class looked at me as though I had just replaced all of their Christmas gifts with coal, but despite our significant age gap, I do remember what 8th grade was like, and it did suck.  However, if I could take the bills, loans, paperwork, spam mail, and money problems in my adult life and swap them with my junior high cherubs' woes of gossip, friendship, missing the bus, forgetting homework, and relationship drama, I would do it in a heartbeat.

While I didn't have the time to go on a motivational speaker-like tangent at the time, there have been at least two different occasions where this story has come up these past few weeks, and I figured now was the best time to tackle the issue.

Newsflash: life IS hard.  It's probably the hardest thing you'll have to do, like, ever.  The other thing to be aware of, though, is that you are ultimately in charge of it.  I think too often we (and I am definitely included here, given the excuse-making scenario above) tend to place blame on so many external factors when things don't go the way we want them to.  While, yes, sometimes things get in the way and it is a perfectly justifiable reason for things not going to plan, when this happens again, and again, you need to ask yourself if you truly are the butt of some cosmological joke where legitimate issues ALWAYS prevent life from going your way, or maybe- just maybe- you are subconsciously making excuses for why things didn't go the way they were supposed to.  Perhaps, you are getting in your own way more than you'd care to admit.

Maybe this doesn't apply to you, but at times it certainly applies to me, so I have done a little soul searching and am attempting to make the most out of my time.  In preparation for a new year, I have compiled five pieces of advice for you to take into 2016.  Maybe you don't need all of them, but I'd encourage you to at least check them out.  While we always want things to go smoothly, it's often the more turbulent moments that we gain the most wisdom, so I'm hoping you can take some of my turbulence and learn from it, so that you can have a happy, healthy, and productive New Year!

STOP PROCRASTINATING.  As a high schooler and college student, this was an acceptable trait I possessed, and the excuse "Well, I work better under pressure!" was cute.  Now, in my late 20s, not completing things in a timely fashion or with my best effort is neither cute, nor acceptable, and I have had to face some consequences this year for my less-than-adult-like behaviors.  Nothing huge, but big enough for me to take a look at what I was doing from an objective perspective to see that I was ultimately the cause of my own turmoil.  I'll address this more specifically later, but proper time management is HUGE.  This is information that, as a mom-to-be, all of my mom-friends are sharing with me left and right, and while I'm sure I won't properly understand it until I have my child I'm doing what I can to be proactive about my time now.  And let me tell you, it makes a difference.

TAKE IT EASY WITH SOCIAL MEDIA.  The older I get, the less this social media experience makes sense to me.  "Mrs. Willis, are you on Tumblr?  Do you know what Tinder is?  What about YikYak?"  No, no, and no.  Seriously?  This is what you do when you get home from school?  See what others in the world are doing?  How is that even satisfying?  I am guilty of the occasional Facebook stalking as much as the next person, but at least these are people I know.  I felt the same blatant distaste when reality shows like The Real World, Survivor, and Big Brother started coming out.  While they are all entertaining I'm sure, let me break this down for you: You are literally watching other people live their life.  Sue me, but I find that incredibly boring, and please believe that I have enough amazing and interesting people in my ACTUAL social circles that I'd rather live my life with them, than watch and read about other people living theirs.  Give real life a chance, you guys.  Give it a chance.

LOOK AT THE BIG PICTURE.  It utterly confuses me when I see people so caught up with "living in the moment" that they make rash decisions that could impact the rest of their life without thinking.  Being a high school teacher I see a lot of drama, broken relationships, gossip, and changing of friend circles, and I think that is a part of growing up, finding yourself, and finding who you click with.  But what about adulthood?  I'm hoping that at this point, we know ourselves well enough to decide who we can or cannot "play nice with", which makes half of this equation easier, but I can't lie that my heart breaks a little when I hear about friends or family that have a "falling out."  

I can't be in everyone's shoes, and I don't know everyone's perspective, so I'm sure there are legitimate reasons for cutting people out of one's life.  If a relationship is no longer healthy, it serves you no purpose anymore, and I get that, but I suppose when it's family I just get sad about it.  Some things are out of your control: substance abuse, addiction, and innate stubbornness being a few.  Obviously you are only one side of the relationship, but take a look at your position: are you the one prohibiting the relationship from being mended?  If so, is it really worth it?  

I'm not casting judgment, and I know that every circumstance is different, but coming from a position where I seriously considered permanently shutting out my father, all I can say is now I am very glad I didn't.  Not having him around anymore, I now no longer have the choice, and I cherish every moment we got to spend together- some much happier memories than others.  Having him be ill for so long just got me thinking, "What if I told him I didn't want him in my life anymore, and he was gone the next day?  How would I feel knowing that was the last thing I said to my father?"  If you have a broken relationship, and it's important to you, fight for it.  Try to repair it.  No one is going to be around forever, and regret is a terrible thing to have to live with.

MAKE TIME FOR WHAT'S IMPORTANT.  2015 was a big year for my husband and I, for a lot of the reasons stated above.  One of the things that was good for me with all of the changes that were coming about, was whittling out what I did, and did not have time for.  This forced me to take a look at my schedule, and basically clear it out of everything that was going to interfere with my immediate goals: stay employed, be a good wife, be a good mom.  Pretty small list, but one would be naive to think that any one of these three goals is easy, and doesn't come at the cost of a lot of time, effort, and planning.  I made the decision to drop just about everything I was doing that was not family or work related, and while I am bummed at the fact that some of my most beloved activities and singing groups are now on the back burner or are dissipated, I am happy with the choices I've made.  17-27 year-old Corri was unmarried, baby-less, and had the world at her fingertips.  I knew that at some point I wouldn't have all of that free time, so I did a lot of things, like...

• Traveling to Jamaica, Scotland, Wales, Great Britain, and Italy
• Playing ultimate frisbee
• Competing in pageants
• Baton twirling
• Working with one of my best friends to create a 501c3 not for profit pageant organization
• Playing poker
• Joining barbershop choruses, quartets, and a cappella groups
• Blogging
• Competing in Cornhole tournaments
• Visiting the two most magical places on earth with my fiancé (the Jurassic Park World and the Harry Potter World at Universal Studios)

...among many other things.  Despite the fact that my bucket list has more unscratched items than scratched items I'm not giving up on it yet, but I do need to take a break and focus on my family. The last 10 years have been awesome, and I've grown a lot.  While the things I've been a part of, done and seen are very important to me, I have new goals that require my time and dedication.  Making time for what's important is not about eliminating the past, so much as it is balancing it with the present, and planning for the future.

DON'T SACRIFICE PRECIOUS TIME FOR WHAT ISN'T IMPORTANT.  This sort of continues my rant with social media, but I suppose that's mostly because I don't find it as important as I used to.  While blogging is a hobby of mine, I do it for me, because I enjoy it.  Facebook, on the other hand, is a connective tool for me to stay in touch with friends and family that I don't often get to see.  Because I have been watching a lot of Star Wars recently, I'm going to compare Facebook to the force: it's just there.  Whether or not you choose to use it for good or evil is your choice.  Now, evil may be a strong word, so let's replace that with negativity for the purposes of this discussion.  Keep in mind that YOU are in control of your Facebook.  Are you still with me?  Good.

Two of the number one things that I hear people complain about on Facebook are babies and weddings.  "Ugh, someone else is getting married!  Another baby picture?  Gosh, don't these people have lives?"  I'm biting my tongue really hard here, as this inner monologue plays out in my mind of people complaining about what other people do with their time on Facebook (I think this whole topic makes me a pseudo-hypocrite, but look at how much I care.  This much ----->        ).  I feel strongly about two things regarding this conundrum that, honestly, people put themselves into:

• I would much rather look at babies, weddings, and engagement announcements than political garbage, people's meals, and I'm-begging-you-to-comment-on-my-appearance-selfies any day of the week.  This is just my opinion though, and since not everyone agrees, it brings me to my second set of feelings...
• Do you know why I don't watch Duck Dynasty?  It's because I don't like it.  Do you know what I would do if I turned on the TV and it came on?  I would change the channel.  Let that sink in for a moment.  Yeah.  You, YES YOU, have the power to see, and ultimately unsee anything you like, or dislike on Facebook.  Powerful stuff, eh?

If you don't like pictures of babies, engagements, weddings, or generally happy wonderful moments on Facebook, you have an option people.  You don't have to passively aggressively shun people.  You don't have to rant about it.  In fact, you don't have to deal with it in any way.  Block, unfollow, or unfriend the culprits of the joy you wish to unsee, and just be done with it.  You know what annoys my husband about Facebook?  Everything.  So guess what?  He's not on it.  He's also an adult and makes adult decisions, instead of wallowing in self-pity on the internet, so I kind of love him.

The number one thing that I don't have time for that people love to do/be/harbor in life (and mostly on Facebook)?...NEGATIVITY.  Ain't nobody got time for that!  Guess how long it took you to write that status that complained about what someone else was doing?  One to four minutes (after you carefully worded it so that you can be snarky/vague enough to get your point across without overtly offending anyone...sneaky sneaky, you are).  Guess what you could have done with that time instead?

• Made a Hot Pocket
• Done 44 jumping jacks
• Pet a baby pig approximately 127 times
• Told at least 6 people you loved them

See what I mean?  Negativity takes time.  Precious time.  Use it for good, Luke, not for evil.

Sorry if you got nothing out of this, but I hope you did!  Here's hoping that- with or without my advice- your 2016 brings you and your family good health and many blessings.

Much love,

Corri