After a slow, groggy, and painful start to the morning (getting used to the Jamaican cuisine was tough at first), we made our way down to the Pallazzina for breakfast earlier than usual, as we had to catch an 8:55 bus to Dunns River Falls. Being practical, I sported a monokini for this excursion, as I don't know much about waterfalls, but I can surmise that string bikinis and bandeau tops don't fare well in them.
In order to participate in said waterfall climb, we were required to purchase REALLY SEXY WATER SHOES. The perk is that they say "Jamaica, no problem!" on them. Andrew got a really nice pair that was black, yellow, and green to match the Jamaican flag, and I (like always) got stuck with whatever color scheme was left in the all too common size 8. It was hot pink, neon green, and grape purple. Jamaica, no problem?
Anyway, when we got on the bus, our driver Prince (not sure if that's an alias or his real name, but he was not the artist formerly known, for sure) sat down for a serious talk that went something like,
"You guys, we have a serious problem. *worried looks among couples* We need a new driver. *confused looks* Yeah, mon. I had way too much to drink last night and I'm still drunk. *horrified looks* Yeah, mon. What we're going to need is one of you to drive the bus today while I navigate." I'm not sure if you realize this, but in case you don't, here's a fun fact about Jamaica: they drive on the left-hand side of the road.
At this point, people are audibly murmuring, and a few people hesitantly step up to drive, until Prince says, "Ok, mon! Well you see, it's a manual transmission." Now the bus goes nearly silent when my lovable, pointdexter husband says, "Does the manual transmission shift from right to left or left to right?" halfway out of his seat, ready to cruise in a large tour bus down narrow streets on the opposite side of the road with an old, manual transmission. Awesomeness.
Luckily for us, Prince was just joshin' us. We all breathed a huge sigh of relief, except Andrew, who secretly mentioned that he was really looking forward to driving.
We got to the falls, and Prince sat us down for a REAL serious talk this time. He said that a lot of people are going to try to sell us items after our tour, as we have to walk through a sort of flea market to get back to the entrance. Apparently, a lot of vendors say that an item is free and thrust it in your hands, and then ask you to pay for it. He also ran us through the protocol for the tour guides and how we should pay for the DVD accurately, should we choose to buy it, so we don't get scammed.
So the falls were really beautiful, and it was cold, refreshing fresh water, so I didn't have to worry about rogue jellyfish. PHEW. The climb was relatively easy, considering it was over 960 feet high. It was laid out in such a way that it plateaued frequently, so it didn't necessarily feel like you were climbing a whole lot at one time.
Our tour guide was so much fun and made sure that we got lots of fun footage on the DVD. Each tour guide had a videographer with them with a waterproof camera, so that when we were finished with the tour we could purchase a souvenir of the adventure. I was amazed to find out that they did not mail the DVD to our room, but gave it to us on the spot as we were leaving! I suppose they have this routine down to a science, though.
Sure enough, as we left the falls on our way back to the bus, we were hounded by many an eager Jamaican vendor. Having been in countless flea markets in Florida, I was very used to this environment, but still felt obliged to politely decline. Andrew has a Canadian maple leaf tattoo on his back, which proved to be a disadvantage for trying to escape persistent vendors. "Hey you! Maple leaf mon! MADE IN CANADA!" It was highly amusing, but it did result in us getting borderline chased by excitable Jamaicans.
Once we got back to the resort, we hung out at the bar and had lunch at the Bella Vista grill, which was new for us. I got a bacon cheeseburger, while Andrew got a Jerk Burger, which he raved about. We spoke with some couples at the bar who *shocker* had the same wedding date as us. They also introduced us to the vomit-inducing, aesthetically appealing shot that is the Bob Marley.
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| It looks cute…but it's not |
Yeah, I know. It looks elegant and spunky and super fruity and tasty. I assure that it is none of those things. If you have ever had cherry cough syrup, particularly Robitussin, think about what it would taste like if you mixed it with menthol spearmint sore throat spray…that, my friends, is what a Bob Marley tastes like. Oh, what's in it, you ask? Grenadine, (not SO bad) banana liqueur, (uhh, gross) and creme de menthe (WTF?). Apparently there is overproof rum in there somewhere too. Mm mm, good. Also, ours were served in martini glasses with a straw, so we were expected to put the straw in the center and suck it up as quickly as possible. You know, they wouldn't want you to miss that yummy banana liqueur in the middle of all of that prescription medicine.
I'm pretty sure we napped after that. We made a reservation earlier in the evening at the only restaurant we hadn't visited, which was the Casanova. Not only was the food amazing, but I have never had more conscientious or careful service in a food establishment in my life. Our waiter was just perfect, and his name was Euron. Andrew ordered a bottle of Kendall-Jackson Cabernet, and he also got crab cakes for an appetizer that were very tasty and delicate. I ordered the lobster bisque, which was soooo good, but served in a unique way. The lobster and creme fraiche were brought out to me in the soup bowl, which looked odd. Euron then came by with what looked like a coffee urn with the hot broth to pour atop the other ingredients. It was kind of neat to see soup served so differently. Andrew ordered the beef tenderloin, medium, for his entree, while I settled for lobster tail. I tried a bit of his, and both were prepared to perfection. We did indulge in dessert (primarily because we still had a ton of wine left) and while Andrew got the bourbon bitter chocolate tart with a Jamaican coffee (coffee with Appleton rum) I opted for the creme brûlée, which was really good.
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| Andrew and I at the Casanova restaurant |
After dinner, we were still wiped out after a long afternoon of climbing, so the hay we hit. Keep your eyes peeled for my recollections of day four!
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