Baby on the Brain: My Top 10 Baby Products

If you've read/seen A Simple Favor, you will know that the main character Stephanie is an avid mom blogger (vlogger in the film).  Rest assured, I'm not quitting my day job to do that.  Well, I did kind of quit my day job...but it was definitely not to be a mom blogger.

I actually really enjoy mom blogs, and have a book called "I Just Want to Pee Alone" that is a collection of hilarious mom blog posts, but my brain just goes in too many different directions to narrow my rantings down to one topic alone.  Since I did leave my job to be a stay at home mom for a bit, though, be prepared to read a good many mom posts on here.  Or skip 'em.  It's totally your call.

Anyway, as I sit here with two sleeping cherubs, (three, if you include my primadonna rag doll cat) and a husband sitting through delectable meetings in his office, my house is as quiet as it's likely going to be all day, and I have some time to write.

This post, like many, has been rolling around in the back of my mind for awhile now, and was prompted by inadvertently receiving baby shower gifts for my firstborn that I didn't necessarily ask for, but in hindsight really, really love.  I know not everyone likes spontaneous gifts, especially when a baby is on the way, as people have personal tastes, themes, colors, and certain ideologies that often prohibit (even subconsciously) people from buying gifts not on the registry.  Here I am to share with you my top 10 baby products (in no particular order) that I never in a million years would have picked out for myself, but am really glad they were given/suggested to me by my much wiser mom friends.  Enjoy!

(BTW these are all honest to God suggestions and are not promotional.  Honestly, out of the 73 people that read this blog, we all know Munchkin and Pamper's reps aren't accounted for, but I thought I'd add the disclaimer anyway.)

10) Johnson's Hand & Face Wipes

Every mom likely has a plethora of wipes for baby's diaper needs, but anyone who's tried to use said wipes on other places has probably found them to be, well, not as effective.  Sure, they kind of get the job done, but when my eyes were opened to these bad boys via a random conversation with a friend, the competition was over.  I am by no means a brand snob (unlike my husband) which you can see from the various brands and non-brands on this list, but the Target version of these just didn't have the same subtle, yet amazing scent these had.  I'm all for the knock off brand, but when it comes to hand and face wipes, I go the extra mile.

9) Arm & Hammer Scented Diaper Bags

Never have I ever dropped off my child at a sitter's without these small, but mighty beasts in the diaper bag.  A similar version of these was bestowed upon me at my firstborn's shower, and upon not being able to find that brand, I resorted to Arm & Hammer, and ended up loving them.  They can get unruly in the diaper bag if they are not restrained, so I used one of the hundred billion baby hair ties I have in the house to secure them, and sometimes reinforce security by putting them in a ziplock bag.

8) Ingenuity 3-in-1 High Chair

I can actually take credit for this one, as this exact high chair was on my registry.  ANYTHING convertible or multi-in-one is a win for me (unless it's a bra.  Those are hella confusing and make me feel like I am going to suffocate whilst trying to assemble unnecessarily difficult neglige), and we get SO much use out of this.  I'm sure any brand would be great, this is just the one we happened to stumble upon.

7) Tommee Tippee Bibs

One of my wise mom friends swears by these, and I see why.  They're rubbery/silicone-y, so there's no need to put them in the washer and wait for them to dry; just throw that sucker in the sink and it's ready to go in seconds.  It's hard to see from the photo, but there's a pocket for picking up ramen noodles and cereal.  Or anything your child may inadvertently dispense from his or her mouth.

6) Newborn Mittens

This find was a happy accident on my behalf.  Who knew, even when you trimmed baby's nails, that she would consistently try to gouge out her corneas?  At least wait until ice-breaker day at your college orientation before you try to attempt that.  Anyway, these are manageable, efficient, and as cute or as simple as you want them to be.  (FYI-frugal me tried to just use socks.  They stayed on her hands about as well as they stay on her feet...which is not well)  I would say to get at least three pair, as we found these got in the way of many a spit up, and had to be washed a lot.

5) My Breast Friend Nursing Pillow

For my first child I ended up receiving two Boppy nursing pillows, which I loved and one of which I still occasionally use.  I often struggled with the things I assume most Boppy users probably struggle with (or maybe I just struggle more than the average human):

Boppy Pillow, for reference

1. I have it around me, now time to get the baby.  Shit, the Boppy fell off of me.  I probably shouldn't drop the baby to pick it up.  How does one DO THIS?
2. Okay, baby first, THEN Boppy.  Got it.  Baby is up, and grab the Boppy.  How do I get it on me without dropping the baby?  Maybe if I twist it this way...dammit.  I probably shouldn't drop the baby to pick it up.
3. Finally!  Baby is nursing well and is so cozy, but what's with this gradual gap widening between me and the pillow?  And now the pillow is on the floor.  Again.

My Breast Friend was suggested to me by my wedding photographer when we were doing my firstborn's baby shoot.  It not only has a ridiculously fun name, but fastens behind you like a badass Rambo nursing station.  It's probably made out of the same stuff they make those crazy mattresses out of where people are jumping on it with wine glasses on the corner, but don't quote me on that.  It has two bumps on it that help naturally lift baby's head AND IT HAS A POUCH.  For a binky.  Or a bottle.  Or Cheetos for mom.

4) Munchkin Latch Baby Bottles

Self-proclaimed non-brand snob here to say I really do love this specific brand.  I didn't try a ton of bottles, but once these were used it seemed to be a perfect fit.  Literally.  Target for the win, as there was a small 4 oz. bottle in the sample pack they gave me as a gift for being pregnant.  (By the way, can we talk about how the young woman passing out gift bags to pregnant women at the front of the Target store needs a huge raise?  How many times do you think she gave a non-pregnant woman a perk package and said "Congrats!" with a huge grin on her face?  Hopefully never.)  Interestingly enough, despite having initially received the sample from Target, they didn't have any replacement parts when I stopped by the other day to get some nipples (If I had a dollar for every time I typed that...).  *shrug*

3) Cloth Diapers

Before you go congratulating me on being extraordinarily patient and eco-friendly, let me tell you that we don't use cloth diapers on our kids.  One of my cousins gifted these to me and prefaced it with "they work really well as burp cloths...and also to wash your car!"  Note: do not burp a baby with it and then wash your car.  Other than the awesome hand-made burp cloths one of my friends sewed for me, these are the most efficient burp cloths EVER.  I did receive lots of really cute matching burp cloths, which I love for aesthetic reasons, but in terms of efficiency, I feel like I could just as well burp my child with a Kleenex.

2) Munchkin Brica Car Mirror

This was an unexpected gift from a friend that saved me MANY an unhappy car ride back from Watertown.  The remote clipped on my visor, and I can put it on daytime music, or sleepy music.  The little bug lights up, as well as the mirror, and the tunes are actually pretty cute.  I may or may not have named them all, and solfeged them all in my head.  It's surprising how many of the melodies are not diatonic...I digress.  I'm sure many brands have something similar, and while I love mine, perhaps try to find one with a power button on the remote.  It will eventually go into "sleep mode", but I would often forget to turn it off when I was getting wee one out of the car, and let's just say we went through a lot of AAA batteries because of it.

1) Fitted Waterproof Crib Mattress Cover


As luck would have it, we haven't yet utilized the magic that is my sister-in-law's advice: place a fitted sheet over the crib mattress, and then top it with the waterproof mattress cover.  Then, put ANOTHER fitted sheet on top.  That way, after a blowout diaper or tsunam-pee, you can easily remove the nasty sheet, plus the cover, and not have to get a new sheet out in the middle of the night.  We are fortunate enough to have never had diaper accidents in the middle of the night, and I swear it's because we are prepared for it.  As soon as I take the mattress cover off, it will probably be shit central in my nursery, which is why I'll not likely remove it any time soon.  (As a note, any brand is probably fine, and while the photo says Carter's, I can't honestly remember what mine is.)

Being a mom of any number of children is basically like the scene in Saw 2 where the girl has to jump into a pit of used hypodermic needles in order to find the key to save her life.  Well, that might be a bit of an exaggeration, but it can sometimes feel like that.  Social media makes it all too easy to judge moms, and in addition to just providing helpful advice, I wanted to post this to give a shout out to all my mom friends out there who have helped pave the way for my maternal journey.  It is so easy to criticize, but so much more healing to help, so I hope this post helped you in the same way all my mom friends helped me.

Wrapping up Christmas - 10 Tips for Gift Wrapping Success

As Christmas draws near, I actually find myself ready for the glorious gift-giving extravaganza.  Having been a consistent December 23rd shopper in the past, this is kind of a big deal, a lot of which I attribute to the wee one that is now a part of my life.  Something that has always been special to me, though, has been gift wrapping.

Back in the day, the reigning Miss Thousand Islands was invited to wrap gifts at Borders Book Store in the mall (God, I miss that store...) and even in the years where I wasn't the winner, I found myself there helping.  I take the role of third wheel to an alarming degree, I suppose.  Anyway, it was those experiences and people that taught me a lot about the efficiency needed for the basics, and how to gift wrap some obscenely large and obtuse gifts.

Another thing my memory draws upon this time of year is the creativity my father exhibited while wrapping gifts.  Tissue paper, curling ribbon, bows, spacial awareness and symmetry were all cleverly put to work in any given one of my father's gifts to another person.

I guess I felt, with the big day being tomorrow, I would share some of the things I have learned in hopes that it might make your holiday a little more festive.  Without further adieu, I present ten pieces of advice for wrapping, and decorating, your gifts this holiday season.

1) Invest in the best.
I learned this the hard way this year as I was re-using some of the wrapping paper I had purchased last year.  While the roll had a lot more paper on it than other rolls I had purchased, it wasn't labeled "heavy duty" and therefore ripped when a heavier package was being maneuvered.  I have since purchased some heavy duty wrap, and while it is a bit pricier and may not go as far, it certainly looks cleaner and doesn't tear as easily.  It's sort of like toilet paper; you can go cheap and 'get more', or you can invest a little more for the two-ply brand and have a softer, cleaner bum.

While we're on the topic of purchasing, it's hard to wrap gifts properly if you don't plan ahead.  It's sort of like when I go grocery shopping without a list, and get a bunch of food items that have no business going together.  Planning out color schemes for ribbons, bows, and paper is important, so taking an inventory of what you have already vs. what you need will help you to plan ahead and not purchase things that have a low probability of being used.

2) Measure.
Many styles of wrapping paper now come with a grid on the flip side, which assists in this step greatly.  A lot of the time, especially with bigger packages, you can merely count how many squares occupy the long end, double it, and then do the same for the width, which saves moving a large and heavy parcel that could tear the paper if you're not careful.

A lot of times, I only measure for the length, because who wants to have to awkwardly cut a swatch to fill the gap in between the ends of the paper?  Having excess paper on the short ends of the packages, though, also presents its own problems, especially with folding.  You should always trim any excess off the ends to ease the folding process, although measuring beforehand will alleviate the problem altogether.

3) There's more than one way to skin a cat.
Yuck.  This isn't a literal piece of advice, thankfully.  For far too long, however, I was only instructed in my tried and true way of folding in the ends of wrapping paper, as evidenced below:

Eventually, one of my gift wrapping gurus showed me an additional way to wrap the ends of a gift, which I now use more frequently:

Upon further research, I think this is how most people are traditionally taught to wrap the ends of paper, but I will say having two methods is helpful in different scenarios.

4) I'm on the edge, of glory.
Speaking of edges, now is a good time to suggest that ALL edges of the gift wrap be folded before they are taped down.  Especially if you cut paper with scissors as horrendously as I do, this step serves to completely remove any evidence of scissors-related debauchery.  It also cleans up the look, as things will appear more parallel and less ragged.

5)  To see, or not to see.  That is the question.
This one is up to personal taste, but if clean wrapping and visual aesthetics are your goal, then it is a good suggestion to utilize the magic that is double sided tape, or my new favorite adhesive, glue dots.  It doesn't make sense to measure paper meticulously and fold edges for the sake of perfection if the scotch tape is going to be visible and disrupt the line you've created, or hidden, depending on the gift wrap.  I don't personally mind the tape being visible, as it's not easily seen, but I would encourage those of us who do err on the side of visible tape to place it "with the grain" or parallel to the wrapping paper, rather than perpendicular.  It is a more efficient use of adhesive, and is not as easily spotted.

6) Think outside the box.
Literally.  Sometimes, the gift is just too square a peg to fit the round hole you're trying to jam it into.  In cases like this, remember that gifts can be just as beautifully presented in a purchased box, or a gift bag, and saves you a lot of time and hassle.  Oftentimes, you can also wrap cylindrical gifts, as shown below, by having an excess of wrapping paper on one end that you can tie off with curling ribbon.  Keep in mind the implicit need for heavy duty wrapping paper, though.

7) Simple vs. ornate.
I don't necessarily feel that one gift wrap type is better than the other, as decisions for each are purely circumstantial.  The decor decisions needing to be made are pretty straightforward, though.  With ornate wrapping paper, such as flamboyant patterns, Christmas scenes, or characters, less is more with decor.  The paper itself is a statement, and needs little else to balance it out.  This type of paper is usually a better fit for bigger packages, which provide a larger canvas with which to portray the paper.  Simple colored ribbon matching a more subtle accent color within the design could be enough, but be sure to avoid having too much stuff, as it can often appear cluttered or tacky.

Simple, on the other hand, can be much more fun and malleable.  A simple multi-colored, or even single colored paper has so many possibilities.  Ribbons, bows, or a combination of both can work wonders in contrasting colors from the paper, or accented colors within it.  Should you have the paper without the measuring boxes on the flip side, using the opposite side of the paper to wrap (which is usually white) gives you an endless amount of color options to use for decor, giving you an opportunity to use less conventional and more unique hues such as purple. pink, orange, yellow, etc.

8) I've got a blank space, baby.
Or at least, I hope you do.  Filling up the entire canvas, much like a work of art, is visually confusing and very loud.  Consider a few things when analyzing your spatial situation: package size, type and location of desired decoration, type of paper, name tag size and shape, empty space (to allow the decoration design some breathing room).  Not EVERYTHING has to be in the center or in the top left corner, you know.  Mix it up a bit!  Put name tags in the center with bows above or below.  Put ribbons off center and to the left, and accent them with a contrasting shaped to/from tag.  There are endless ways to use your space when finalizing your gift, so make sure to map it out before making it permanent.

9) Spice up your life.
While waiting for my most recent dentist appointment, I was reading a christmas decor magazine, and found four really easy ways to add decor to your packages.  Tinsel balls, colored medallions, themed holiday shapes made from wire, or paper cone-shaped trees.  While I didn't elect to use the cone trees, and immensely struggled with the wire-bending, I felt that the diversity of the bow decor helped my gifts have more personality, and not look so same-y.  Even if my craft floor is now facing the unclean-able wrath of cut up tinsel shrapnel.

10) Curly is not your only option.
This year, for the first time, I purchased (yes, I'll admit it was accidental) non-curling ribbon.  The horror!  I really didn't know what to do with it, but I tried it with a few packages and I found that, much like the diversity in bows, the differences in ribbon really complemented some of the gifts I was wrapping.  I also had fun making some of them out of the ordinary, as shown below, with contrasting colors to really make a statement.  Is it a great statement?  Probably not, but it looks purty to me and I received a lot of satisfaction out of making it come to life.

In summary, I need to tell you that I am not the best gift wrapper in the world.  By FAR.  I think Shelby Cohen probably is.  She is the Obi Wan that taught this little Jedi-wrapper all her skills, but at the end of the day, everyone does it differently, and that's why gift-wrapping is so special.  Some gifts are casual, while some are more elegantly adorned.  Others are wrapped by that last-minute Tasmanian devil friend we all have with serial killer handwriting, and sometimes those are the best ones to see.  Whatever your gift wrapping style, know that it matters little what it is, and more that it is wrapped with love, and is a gift that is thoughtful and meaningful.

Happiest of Holidays, and Merry Christmas!

5 Tips to Ace Back-to-School Season

Hey, it's 2017, and welcome back to the goings-on of my brain.

As a teacher, going back to school triggers a lot of emotions that aren't present in my non-teacher friends' lives, and this is certainly not a complaint, as having the summer to spend with my family and baby has been incredible, to say the least.  It's more like a feeling of empowerment-and-readiness-to-take-on-the-world-which-will-likely-be-diluted-by-the-time-Christmas-rolls-around, but let's stay positive, people!

If you search the inter webs, which on any given occasion can be a dangerous thing to do, there are a lot of people out there with feels about back-to-school mayhem.  As I have a lot of experience with school (I mean, I AM going to be in school for the next couple of decades...) I figured this would be an appropriate time to share some advice with you, be you a nervous student, anxious teacher, giddy parent, or neutral observer.  Without further adieu, here are five things to keep mind of while preparing for this oh so magical time of the year:

1. Teachers are not the enemy.
Parents, this one's for you.  Thankfully, I have had few negative run-ins with parents over the years, but they exist, and trust me when I say they are more emotionally draining and sleep depriving than even the most obnoxious of students.

Something about this generation (no, Millennials, this isn't actually a jab at you) of PARENTS has me quite perplexed.  It seems that there is this notion that the teachers who are there to educate, inspire, and sometimes -GOD FORBID- discipline your perfect cherubs are somehow culpable when said child gets into trouble.  I know I am not a parent of a school-aged child yet, but I have been unnecessarily antagonized via e-mails and phone calls enough to be able to suggest a better way to go about student-teacher conflict.

• STEP 1 - talk to your child about the situation, and most importantly, know that this is ONE HALF of the story, and chances are, the least mature/honest half.  Not trying to diss your baby, it's just science.
• STEP 2 - Approach the teacher in a neutral and friendly manner.  While you are responsible for your precious baby (or two, or three, etc.) remember that they are responsible for dozens, possibly hundreds of students.  While your child is important to the teacher, they are not MORE important than any other student, or the greater good of all students, so try to at least understand that perspective when communicating with them.  Side note: the teacher is much less likely to get back to you ASAP if you appear rude, snarky, or aggressive when contacting them.  Speaking from experience here, people.  A concerned parent?  I'll hear you out.  Angry parent?  No, thanks.  I'll wait for you to simmer.

• STEP 3 - Make every effort to really listen to what the teacher is saying, and try to paint a picture of the full situation.  Remember, you know your child better than the teacher (I hope...) and you will have a better idea of what is going on, but only AFTER you get both sides.  Please know that the teacher does not hate your child, and does not wish them failure; it's just not a part of who we are or what we do (if you're in teaching for the right reasons, that is).  Keep an open mind, and try to listen more than speak.  You were given two ears and one mouth for a reason, use them in that ratio.

2. Be cool.  Be YOU.
This one's for my students.  I have found a new resurgence of the importance of this mantra after a recent school project was assigned regarding advice to your senior self.  After I shared an alarming amount of pseudo-embarrassing senior pictures of myself on social media, I found that it was just as relevant as it ever was that we need to care so much less about how we are perceived.  Social media, the news, cliques, magazines, advertisements and bullies all try to control how we feel about ourselves, and once you relinquish their ability to have that control, your possibilities are endless.  I know that it is much easier said than done, but I can't explain the liberation you will feel once you stop caring.  To put it in perspective: Do you know what sucks temporarily?  Insecure people making fun of you because, well, they're insecure and probably jealous.  Do you know what sucks permanently?

Regret.  

Regret for not standing up for someone.  Regret for not pursuing a hobby.  Regret for hiding who you really are in favor of who you think people want you to be.  It sucks, guys, and high schoolers are right in the thick of it.  Kids are struggling to define who they are, and people are jumping down their throats left and right trying to manipulate and belittle their self-image.  If YOU are the champion of YOU, and can see that people only bring you down as a temporary high for themselves, YOU will overcome the negativity.  And probably be way cooler than them at your 10-year reunion.

3. A little goes a long way.
This is a shout out for my teacher friends.  Save for the year I was long-term subbing and living with my parents, I don't actually LOVE staying later than contract hours.  Once you have a spouse and/or children, it's hard to be apart from them any longer than needed because of work.  I get it.  Humor me, though, and think about the most inspirational teacher you had.  I know you have one, we all do.  It's why we've taken this burdensome task of educating with pride, and forged ahead.  Did that inspirational teacher leave every day at the bell?  Did he or she repeat the same exact lesson plans year after year, with no diversity or expectation of change?  Did they spurn creative questions and hinder any attempt at healthy, educational tangents and teachable moments?  Did they consider you "just another number", and never cared about your personal growth alongside your academic nourishment?  Chances are, the answer to most if not all of these questions is no.  That's why that teacher rocked.  What I'm getting at is, as I'm sure you know, we have the power to change the world.  To inspire.  To prepare.  To challenge.  Sometimes, the only way this can be adequately translated to student populations is to give a little bit more.  Stay a bit later.  Care a bit more.  Volunteer a few more times.  Attend a couple more school events or games.  You know your children and your spouse, and you know what they need and can live with or without, regarding your work schedule.  While always keeping a healthy family life at the forefront, try giving more to your students in ways that are meaningful to them, but doable for you.  I promise, you won't be disappointed.

4. Empathize.
This kind of piggybacks off of point #4, and is definitely for errbody.  When something goes on that is unexpected, usually unfavorably so, before you react, think: "Why is this person acting this way?"  Unfortunately, in the middle of a lesson, we don't get much time to think before we have to react to a problem until the entire class is derailed, so this might have to take some time, and pattern-scavenging before the answer is realized.  From my experience, people who consistently act out are desperately seeking attention.  Realizing that isn't very helpful, but understanding why can be.  When we put ourselves in someone else's shoes, we are able to better rationalize their behavior, which can make or break your relationship with a person.  From my perspective as a teacher, it's simple: it's not about power, it's about understanding.  As soon as you walk into a classroom intending to be judge, jury, and executioner, you've lost.

Let me be clear: the ability to rationalize one's behavior rarely makes their actions excusable, and you may still need to be firm and deal with consequences.  However, in going forward, you now possess information that will allow you to better control, and possibly event prevent future instances of the offending action, and that makes all the difference.

5. Checkpoint!
Say what you will about teachers and their "measly 180 days of work", but until you've walked a mile in our orthopedic shoes (usually it's about five trips to and from the copier for me) it's not a fair assessment.  It is a long and often arduous journey that feels like it will never end, and goes all too quickly at the same time.  My point?  It can be difficult to see the light at the end of the tunnel, so I try to pace myself and go month by month, sometimes even week by week if I need to, with various checkpoints of freedom.  For example...the first checkpoint might be (if you need it) Columbus Day.  "I've just got to make it to Columbus Day, and I'll be fine".  Checkpoint #2 is Veteran's Day or Thanksgiving break, followed by Christmas break, and by that time we've already put in four months and the year is almost half done.  Maybe this works better for some than others, but for me it breaks what is surely an unmanageably long year into manageable bite-size pieces, and that my friends, works for me.

I don't claim to be perfect.  I know I don't have all the answers, but I feel like I can view school from multiple angles, and offer what is hopefully some useful advice that provides some clarity and objective points of view as we all embark on this exciting, but surely exhausting, 2017-2018 school year.  Whether you be student, parent, or teacher, I wish you the best of all things this school year, and don't forget to get that b#^&% a yellow binder.  (see below if you're confused)

"Life is Hard": thoughts from my 8th graders and things I no longer have time for...

...like figuring out how to properly capitalize the rest of that title.  I must have tried it at least three different ways before I just gave up and succumbed to uncapitalized letters.  Whatev.

So yeah, it's been awhile.  Despite what my husband believes, I don't actually enjoy making excuses, although I tend to have more than my share of them.  Here are the excuses, er, reasons I've been absent these past few months:

• Full time job
• Beginning my school's musical
• Christmas concerts galore
• Buying a new house
• Moving into said house
• Taking a psychology class online
• Studying for said class' midterm and final
• Preparing and proposing my thesis for my graduate degree
• Being pregnant

One of my 8th graders said what we're all thinking the other day in class, and I have to echo her sentiments wholly, "Life is hard".  I can't remember exactly what we were discussing to make this realization hit her hard enough to vocalize it to the chorus, but it got a chuckle out of me, as I sarcastically responded with something akin to, "Yes, my little chickadee, life as an 8th grader is really difficult, but I assure you that your life gets no easier than it is right now."  She, and the rest of the class looked at me as though I had just replaced all of their Christmas gifts with coal, but despite our significant age gap, I do remember what 8th grade was like, and it did suck.  However, if I could take the bills, loans, paperwork, spam mail, and money problems in my adult life and swap them with my junior high cherubs' woes of gossip, friendship, missing the bus, forgetting homework, and relationship drama, I would do it in a heartbeat.

While I didn't have the time to go on a motivational speaker-like tangent at the time, there have been at least two different occasions where this story has come up these past few weeks, and I figured now was the best time to tackle the issue.

Newsflash: life IS hard.  It's probably the hardest thing you'll have to do, like, ever.  The other thing to be aware of, though, is that you are ultimately in charge of it.  I think too often we (and I am definitely included here, given the excuse-making scenario above) tend to place blame on so many external factors when things don't go the way we want them to.  While, yes, sometimes things get in the way and it is a perfectly justifiable reason for things not going to plan, when this happens again, and again, you need to ask yourself if you truly are the butt of some cosmological joke where legitimate issues ALWAYS prevent life from going your way, or maybe- just maybe- you are subconsciously making excuses for why things didn't go the way they were supposed to.  Perhaps, you are getting in your own way more than you'd care to admit.

Maybe this doesn't apply to you, but at times it certainly applies to me, so I have done a little soul searching and am attempting to make the most out of my time.  In preparation for a new year, I have compiled five pieces of advice for you to take into 2016.  Maybe you don't need all of them, but I'd encourage you to at least check them out.  While we always want things to go smoothly, it's often the more turbulent moments that we gain the most wisdom, so I'm hoping you can take some of my turbulence and learn from it, so that you can have a happy, healthy, and productive New Year!

STOP PROCRASTINATING.  As a high schooler and college student, this was an acceptable trait I possessed, and the excuse "Well, I work better under pressure!" was cute.  Now, in my late 20s, not completing things in a timely fashion or with my best effort is neither cute, nor acceptable, and I have had to face some consequences this year for my less-than-adult-like behaviors.  Nothing huge, but big enough for me to take a look at what I was doing from an objective perspective to see that I was ultimately the cause of my own turmoil.  I'll address this more specifically later, but proper time management is HUGE.  This is information that, as a mom-to-be, all of my mom-friends are sharing with me left and right, and while I'm sure I won't properly understand it until I have my child I'm doing what I can to be proactive about my time now.  And let me tell you, it makes a difference.

TAKE IT EASY WITH SOCIAL MEDIA.  The older I get, the less this social media experience makes sense to me.  "Mrs. Willis, are you on Tumblr?  Do you know what Tinder is?  What about YikYak?"  No, no, and no.  Seriously?  This is what you do when you get home from school?  See what others in the world are doing?  How is that even satisfying?  I am guilty of the occasional Facebook stalking as much as the next person, but at least these are people I know.  I felt the same blatant distaste when reality shows like The Real World, Survivor, and Big Brother started coming out.  While they are all entertaining I'm sure, let me break this down for you: You are literally watching other people live their life.  Sue me, but I find that incredibly boring, and please believe that I have enough amazing and interesting people in my ACTUAL social circles that I'd rather live my life with them, than watch and read about other people living theirs.  Give real life a chance, you guys.  Give it a chance.

LOOK AT THE BIG PICTURE.  It utterly confuses me when I see people so caught up with "living in the moment" that they make rash decisions that could impact the rest of their life without thinking.  Being a high school teacher I see a lot of drama, broken relationships, gossip, and changing of friend circles, and I think that is a part of growing up, finding yourself, and finding who you click with.  But what about adulthood?  I'm hoping that at this point, we know ourselves well enough to decide who we can or cannot "play nice with", which makes half of this equation easier, but I can't lie that my heart breaks a little when I hear about friends or family that have a "falling out."  

I can't be in everyone's shoes, and I don't know everyone's perspective, so I'm sure there are legitimate reasons for cutting people out of one's life.  If a relationship is no longer healthy, it serves you no purpose anymore, and I get that, but I suppose when it's family I just get sad about it.  Some things are out of your control: substance abuse, addiction, and innate stubbornness being a few.  Obviously you are only one side of the relationship, but take a look at your position: are you the one prohibiting the relationship from being mended?  If so, is it really worth it?  

I'm not casting judgment, and I know that every circumstance is different, but coming from a position where I seriously considered permanently shutting out my father, all I can say is now I am very glad I didn't.  Not having him around anymore, I now no longer have the choice, and I cherish every moment we got to spend together- some much happier memories than others.  Having him be ill for so long just got me thinking, "What if I told him I didn't want him in my life anymore, and he was gone the next day?  How would I feel knowing that was the last thing I said to my father?"  If you have a broken relationship, and it's important to you, fight for it.  Try to repair it.  No one is going to be around forever, and regret is a terrible thing to have to live with.

MAKE TIME FOR WHAT'S IMPORTANT.  2015 was a big year for my husband and I, for a lot of the reasons stated above.  One of the things that was good for me with all of the changes that were coming about, was whittling out what I did, and did not have time for.  This forced me to take a look at my schedule, and basically clear it out of everything that was going to interfere with my immediate goals: stay employed, be a good wife, be a good mom.  Pretty small list, but one would be naive to think that any one of these three goals is easy, and doesn't come at the cost of a lot of time, effort, and planning.  I made the decision to drop just about everything I was doing that was not family or work related, and while I am bummed at the fact that some of my most beloved activities and singing groups are now on the back burner or are dissipated, I am happy with the choices I've made.  17-27 year-old Corri was unmarried, baby-less, and had the world at her fingertips.  I knew that at some point I wouldn't have all of that free time, so I did a lot of things, like...

• Traveling to Jamaica, Scotland, Wales, Great Britain, and Italy
• Playing ultimate frisbee
• Competing in pageants
• Baton twirling
• Working with one of my best friends to create a 501c3 not for profit pageant organization
• Playing poker
• Joining barbershop choruses, quartets, and a cappella groups
• Blogging
• Competing in Cornhole tournaments
• Visiting the two most magical places on earth with my fiancé (the Jurassic Park World and the Harry Potter World at Universal Studios)

...among many other things.  Despite the fact that my bucket list has more unscratched items than scratched items I'm not giving up on it yet, but I do need to take a break and focus on my family. The last 10 years have been awesome, and I've grown a lot.  While the things I've been a part of, done and seen are very important to me, I have new goals that require my time and dedication.  Making time for what's important is not about eliminating the past, so much as it is balancing it with the present, and planning for the future.

DON'T SACRIFICE PRECIOUS TIME FOR WHAT ISN'T IMPORTANT.  This sort of continues my rant with social media, but I suppose that's mostly because I don't find it as important as I used to.  While blogging is a hobby of mine, I do it for me, because I enjoy it.  Facebook, on the other hand, is a connective tool for me to stay in touch with friends and family that I don't often get to see.  Because I have been watching a lot of Star Wars recently, I'm going to compare Facebook to the force: it's just there.  Whether or not you choose to use it for good or evil is your choice.  Now, evil may be a strong word, so let's replace that with negativity for the purposes of this discussion.  Keep in mind that YOU are in control of your Facebook.  Are you still with me?  Good.

Two of the number one things that I hear people complain about on Facebook are babies and weddings.  "Ugh, someone else is getting married!  Another baby picture?  Gosh, don't these people have lives?"  I'm biting my tongue really hard here, as this inner monologue plays out in my mind of people complaining about what other people do with their time on Facebook (I think this whole topic makes me a pseudo-hypocrite, but look at how much I care.  This much ----->        ).  I feel strongly about two things regarding this conundrum that, honestly, people put themselves into:

• I would much rather look at babies, weddings, and engagement announcements than political garbage, people's meals, and I'm-begging-you-to-comment-on-my-appearance-selfies any day of the week.  This is just my opinion though, and since not everyone agrees, it brings me to my second set of feelings...
• Do you know why I don't watch Duck Dynasty?  It's because I don't like it.  Do you know what I would do if I turned on the TV and it came on?  I would change the channel.  Let that sink in for a moment.  Yeah.  You, YES YOU, have the power to see, and ultimately unsee anything you like, or dislike on Facebook.  Powerful stuff, eh?

If you don't like pictures of babies, engagements, weddings, or generally happy wonderful moments on Facebook, you have an option people.  You don't have to passively aggressively shun people.  You don't have to rant about it.  In fact, you don't have to deal with it in any way.  Block, unfollow, or unfriend the culprits of the joy you wish to unsee, and just be done with it.  You know what annoys my husband about Facebook?  Everything.  So guess what?  He's not on it.  He's also an adult and makes adult decisions, instead of wallowing in self-pity on the internet, so I kind of love him.

The number one thing that I don't have time for that people love to do/be/harbor in life (and mostly on Facebook)?...NEGATIVITY.  Ain't nobody got time for that!  Guess how long it took you to write that status that complained about what someone else was doing?  One to four minutes (after you carefully worded it so that you can be snarky/vague enough to get your point across without overtly offending anyone...sneaky sneaky, you are).  Guess what you could have done with that time instead?

• Made a Hot Pocket
• Done 44 jumping jacks
• Pet a baby pig approximately 127 times
• Told at least 6 people you loved them

See what I mean?  Negativity takes time.  Precious time.  Use it for good, Luke, not for evil.

Sorry if you got nothing out of this, but I hope you did!  Here's hoping that- with or without my advice- your 2016 brings you and your family good health and many blessings.

Much love,

Corri

28 things I learned after 28 years

So yesterday, was my birthday…

…and I officially turned 28 years old, huzzah!  With age comes a lot of things: wrinkles, well-wishes, and wisdom, being the three most obvious, but it's often too easy to not put things into perspective and be thinking solely about the future.  Not that that's a bad thing, per se, but a lot of the time I love looking back at what a pessimistic, argumentative idiot I used to be, and rationalize how I got where I am currently, and what I learned to get here.  It's sort of like looking back at old diaries and realizing how naive you used to be…actually, it's exactly like that.  Through heartaches, strained friendships, painful loss, joyful gain, and lots of laughing, I'm proud to say I made it to 28.  Here are 28 things I've learned on the road of life that I'd like to share with you:

1)  If at first you don't succeed, try try again.  My brother used to pull my feet out from underneath me when I was learning to walk, but despite the fact that he made the process more challenging, I ended up figuring it out eventually.  Perseverance is key, which is the only reason why I now know how to ride a bike, thanks to Mary.  It may have been when I was the ripe old age of 14, but who's counting?

2) You lose 100% of the hands you fold.  Poker analogy for saying you can't win anything if you don't risk anything.

3) Everything happens for a reason.  Don't fight it, and don't ask questions.  It will be revealed in due course, I am certain of it.

4) Everything is a game of balance.  You have one life, and one body, and you have to make the most of it.  Balancing everything from activities, to meals, to workouts, to work schedules is a key to remaining sane.

5) Make the effort to have a relationship with your parents.  Not everyone is blessed enough to know their mother or father, and only one other person is lucky enough to be able to claim my mother as theirs too, but I can't stress the importance of our relationship enough.  Mother knows best, unless it's in Rapunzel's case...

6) Stand up for yourself…because it's likely that no one else will do it for you.

How to not suck at Valentine's Day

For some reason I seem to have this fascination with researching holidays as they rapidly approach on the calendar.  Even Trivia Crack ascertains that History is one of my strongest subjects, so perhaps it knows me better than I know myself.  Maybe it's my attempt to not seem ignorant as I choose to rant about said holiday, or maybe it's just my sheer intrigue at how we celebrate things in the 21st century, as opposed to how the holiday itself was intended to be celebrated.

As I dug up the dirt on Valentine's day, I found some interesting tidbits on the History channel.  Memorable items include a rebel priest Valentine (who was later to be canonized as a saint) marrying young couples despite the emperor's ban on marriage, and the pagan ritual of slapping women with bloodied animal hide to promote fertility.  Perhaps the 50 Shades of Grey story isn't as far off the beaten path of romance as we think…I kid!  I haven't even read the books, nor do I have any desire to.  I digress…

The video above has some more detailed information, if you happen to be interested, but I am here for a much simpler reason.  I would like to bestow upon you some advice for how to make this Valentine's Day one that will be memorable, and for the right reasons.  

I don't claim to know a lot, but I do know the population of the world is full of three types of people: Those who love Valentine's Day, those who despise it, and those who are indifferent toward it.  No matter what category you fall into, it's still possible for you to make the most of this holiday, sometimes without even spending a dime.

My Bucket List

For quite some time now, I have been storing away little nuggets of information pertaining to my personal Bucket List.  What is a Bucket List, you ask?  Essentially, it is a compilation of things one wishes to accomplish in his or her lifetime before they "kick the bucket."  Here's a little glimpse, albeit a heart wrenching and sad one, into what it's all about:

While the circumstances of the characters in this film make this particular Bucket List experience a tad bit different than my own, I think that the point remains the same: it's never too late to fill your life with meaningful moments and ambitions.

As a social media user in my twenty-somethings, it's all too frequent that I see articles from know-it-all wannabees stating that marriage, and even childbirth, are the end of what used to be an exciting, free-spirited soul who could take on the world and see it all.  Too late for that, married 23 year old mommy-to-be.  You're over the hill and will never be able to feel personal fulfillment on an individual level again.  Shame on you for deciding to devote your life to your husband and children at an age where it is more socially acceptable to get black-out drunk and have a one night stand.  Now that's living.

If you can't tell by my jestful sarcasm, I don't agree with this notion, and I personally feel that fulfillment in life is a personal decision, and comes in a variety of ways.  I don't think- kids or no kids, spouse or no spouse- it is ever too late to follow your dreams and ambitions.  As soon as we start to associate age and family decisions with the inability to be individually happy, we have sentenced ourself to more of a "Countdown to when my Life is no Longer About Me" than a real, meaningful life, and of course no one will feel enriched with an attitude like that.

I digress.  For a little over a decade, now, I have been developing my own Bucket List, and while it's not yet complete, I sort of feel the need to dictate it in a more tangible form, so that I don't start to forget it.  Some of the items on it have already been completed, and some will be completed sooner than others, but for one reason or another I have felt the need to do he following things in my life:

My Bucket List:

• Participate in a flash mob

• I was pretty close to actually doing this, but I don't count it as a "real" flashmob.  I want to participate in a dance flashmob, and I'd love for it to be in a place where no one knows me.
• See Aurora Borealis up close

• This is so stunning and mystifying to me that I feel like I just have to see it up close.  Some day I'd like to travel far enough North at the right time to make this happen.

New Year's Resolutions: A little bit of history, and some "do"s and "don't"s

New Year's Resolutions are one of those things that are like my attempts at working out: priority one for about three days, and then rehearsals/doughnuts/Netflix gets in the way, and life resumes its normalcy.  Do I think they're antiquated and useless?  Surprisingly, no, or else why would I dedicate my time writing about them.  However, I do believe there is a right way, and thus, a wrong way to go about setting resolutions for the New Year.

First let's talk about the idea of resolutions in the first place.  When researching this definition, I found this to be the most apropos form:

a resolve; a decision or determination: to make a firm resolution to do something.  i.e. Her resolution to clear her parents' name allowed her no other focus inline.

Not to get all philosophical here, but many people develop the attitude, "Why change? I am who I am and that's all that I yam." Maybe that's just Popeye, but there are many that denounce the resolution tradition for their own reasons I suppose, but if it is indeed for the aforementioned reason, I have to ask myself, "Why?" Considering that in other parts of the world traditions range from rice pudding with a hidden almond, to bolting down a dozen grapes to your floor, this particular tradition doesn't seem that outlandish to me. Plus, with other global traditions like making cakes in the shape of rings, and eating pork to symbolize prosperity and success, I have to deduce that this custom is one that provides a little more depth and a little less superstition.

But getting back to the resolutions, where did they come from?  And why?  From what I can tell, the