Five Reasons Why Pokemon GO Isn't the Antichrist

Let me tell you a story...

Once upon a time, there were two children who grew up from humble beginnings.  Just about all of their technology was a hand me down, and likely a generation behind, but that did not stop them from enjoying what little they had.  The really cool Game Boy Advance came out, and guess what these two children found whilst garage sale-ing one hot, summer day?

Yes, that's right.  NOT a Game Boy Advance.  It was new, who in their right mind would give it up at a garage sale?  It did force people to pawn off their old OG Game Boys, though, so each child received a hand me down, beat up, but workable portal of electronic dreams, complete with games such as Paperboy, Mortal Kombat, and Contra.  Life was good.

Then Pokemon came out.  The children realized they HAD to have the games.  They watched the show each morning they could, and were instantly entranced by the little pocket monsters.  The young girl got Pokemon Blue, while her older brother got Pokemon Red, once they had saved up enough money of course.  These were the first NEW games for their Game Boys, and boy were they excited!  They even found a way to be able to share, and trade the Pokemon that they caught!

If you haven't already realized, the children are my brother and me, and we lived our modest Pokemon dreams fiercely until, like most children, other things in life got in the way.

Fast forward about 18 years and Pokemon GO comes out.  Are you kidding me?  This game gives you the opportunity to catch Pokemon in your own backyard?  Sign me up!  As with everything that gives some immense joy, however, there is another soul-sucking percentage of the population which has to demean and criticize what others are doing rather than minding their own business (click here for more of my thoughts on that), which has finally prompted me to share with you "Five Reasons Why Pokemon GO Isn't the Antichrist"

1) It's attempting to get people out and on the move.

   The whole point of Pokemon GO is to get outside and move.  If you're new to the game, read up on it here.  While yes, there are ways you can play while as a passenger in a vehicle instead of walking/biking, or more creative ways of cheating like this, the premise of the game is to get people out and interacting with the world while enjoying what was likely a childhood pastime.  I mean, let's be honest, if this game didn't force people to be outside and they were instead at home behind computer screens no one would give a damn about it, but because it has become a public phenomenon, all of a sudden everyone has an opinion on it.  I don't remember the average American posting memes and being up in arms when college students were dropping out because they skipped class to play World of Warcraft all day.  Yet this harmless, kid-friendly (and did I mention FREE?) app has the Poke-haters' panties all in a bunch.  What gives, world?

   I know what you're going to say.  "Harmless?  I think not!  People are blindly walking into the streets, getting hit by cars, getting in accidents left and right, and we are putting our children in danger of trespassing and potential encounters with child predators."  There's one thing I can say to really address all those points at once and it's this: teach your children to not be idiots.  Kids can learn- I know, I do it for a living.  If your kids know not to run into traffic, or trespass, or commiserate with strange people, they won't do it regardless of if a person, game, or sign prompts or invites them to.  Regarding vehicular accidents?  Well, let's just boil it down to anyone playing Pokemon GO in the car and getting into an accident because of it was probably bound to get into an accident anyway.

2) It's  kind of brilliant.

   I remember a few years back, my husband was playing something called Ingress, which was also an augmented reality type game.  He explained it to me, and it sounded so fun!  It, unfortunately, did not come on iPhones, so I jealously watched him play on his team and try to "take over" landmarks in the town.  It seemed like such a blast!  Mixing that concept with a well-known and catchy 90s game that had developed and grown over the last decade wields Pokemon GO, and I am actually surprised that this idea hadn't developed sooner.

   The idea of going out and "catching them all" is a riveting one, and one that got so many people intrigued that it currently is the most downloaded free app (beating out apps like Snapchat and Facebook) and also the highest grossing app (beating out contenders like Candy Crush and Game of War).  Some true-blue fans are upset that the game deviates too much from the original, which having played the original I can attest to, but I'm not at all butt-hurt about it.  The nature of this game is so different from the original that it can't really be expected to mirror it.  It's also not made by Nintendo, a point that many stockholders are bummed to realize, which likely contributes to some of the differences.  I guess my point is if you want to play the original game, that's what the original game is for.  This version can't properly address the points of an augmented reality game effectively without also compromising some of the traditional aspects of the original game.  Plus, it likely wants to separate itself, and let's be real: trying to turn a profit (which it seems to be doing quite well) is a factor, too.

3) It's no worse than the other games or activities in which the "haters" probably indulge.

   Let's be real, here.  You could say "Why do people waste their time playing Pokemon GO?"  but insert just about any game or activity in the blank and you could justify why it was stupid.  Point being, we all have different tastes in how we choose to spend our free time.  Some find it a waste of time to work out, some think quilting is a dumb hobby, and others believe the Candy Crush games are utterly pointless and stupid.  They are all right, and they are all wrong, depending on who you speak with.  My philosophy on this is much like my philosophy on doughnuts: in moderation, they are ok!  And it is so true.  No one judges POGO haters for what they do in their spare time, so why all the backlash for POGO players?  Oh, because it's public.  I see.

    This hurts my 11 year-old heart.  :(  It's not even so much because this criticizes the game, so much as it unabashedly demeans those who choose to play it.  So it's stupid to play POGO, but cool to lounge in your PJs and play Criminal Case behind a computer screen all day?  Pokemon Go is stupid, but golfing in 90 degree weather drinking beer and and getting sunburned for six hours is cool?  I'm not condemning any of these activities, but the point is that this childish rationale of what is "stupid" can be applied to anything; it's just about perspective.  Everyone has hobbies, and some of your friends think those hobbies suck, and some of them think they are great.  Let's all play nice and not make fun of what others choose to do with their time.
   I have seen and experienced what I like to call PokeShame.  This is when, while playing POGO (usually at a well known PokeStop or Gym), you see or are approached by a person or persons, so you casually hold your phone by your side as if you're not trying to get a super potion, three Poke balls and a Razz berry.  Be proud of your Pokemon quest, young friends!  There is (or should be) no shame in taking advantage of a clever, and harmless app that thrives with imagination!  Again, I did use the word "moderation", so while I don't condone the 24/7 sitting by the gym defending it and wandering around streets aimlessly with no consideration of others, the occasional POGO session is by all accounts, a refreshing and healthy break from reality, which is what a good game should be.

4) It's collaborative.

   I watched a set of parents go Pokemon hunting with their kids the other day, and I thought it was darling.  News stories have covered local gatherings of people who plan Pokemon hang outs at specific times.  Siblings, friends, and significant others can go on walks together capturing Ratattas and Pidgeys.  Life is good, friends!  For once, interacting with others in a video game actually requires you to interact with them!  I don't exactly see the harm in this.  Oh wait, do you actually like getting Candy Crush invitations and FarmVille requests?  Oh, then by all means, carry on...

5) It's allowing 90s kids to live a dream they thought was only attainable from behind a screen.

   Again, I feel like I know what you are going to say, "That's the point!  All these damn millennials are walking around with their faces buried in their screens with no regard for the world around them!"  While that's not exactly a glowing review of how one should probably play the game, the point is that they aren't explicitly behind the screen anymore, but focused on what's in front of the screen, which is the real world!  There's just an animated Charmander there, too

   The bottom line of this point is: who wouldn't want to live their childhood dream?  Girls who played with Barbies always wanted to be the Barbies.  Boys playing with Ninja Turtles wanted to drive a Turtle Van and fight crime like the TMNT.  We all had childhood games we played, and childhood fantasies that went with them.  So now we get a taste of our younger selves' dreams, and you're going to write and share memes that criticize use for wasting our time?

   Do you know what I think is a waste of time?  No, you don't, because I generally don't post about it.  Your business is your business, and mine is mine.  I guess I would have just thought more of my social media peeps than to bash and belittle people for playing a game that is so innocent and rooted in childhood fantasy and play...and actually tries to motivate people to get outside for once!  The same people that find fault with this are the same ones that likely say "This generation never uses their imagination to play outdoors.  When I was young, we didn't have cell phones and had to make up our own games."  Well, now we can have the best of both worlds, and people are very quick to criticize.  I do wanna be the very best, people, and I do wanna catch 'em all, but your snarky posts and holier than thou memes make me feel like a heel for wanting to spend my free time doing this while I take my hella-cute baby for a walk.  What gives?

   Save for a few crazies in the group of POGO players around the world- which you'll also find in just about any other hobby- we're really not a bad bunch.  We don't hurt people, we don't fight (unless it's a Pokemon battle in a gym), and we certainly don't criticize you for your hobbies.  So please, before you share that snarky meme or post about how stupid and time consuming this hobby is, take a step back, determine if every single minute of your day is spent productively, and then reconsider.

Sincerely,

A budding Poke Master

The Slow Decline of my Most Recent Accomplishment

So recently, I accomplished a long-time personal goal of mine, and made it to the payout structure of an online poker tournament.  Now, this may seem insignificant to you for a few reasons:

1. Poker tournaments are stupid.  Why do you care, and most importantly, why waste your time?
2. Pfft.  I've done that lots of times.  Are you a newb?
3. Ummm, I'm pretty sure that's illegal.

All valid points, so I'll address them each individually.

1. This is just one of those things that we'll have to disagree on, and I don't play poker, let alone tourneys, very often.
2. Good for you!  We should chat and you can give me pointers.  See my response to number one for my recently limited exposure to the game.
3. There are no federal regulations for online poker.  The problem arises with specific states, and oftentimes banks that do not allow deposits.  There are several legal poker sites available for US players, with more anticipated arrivals within the next four years.  For more information check out http://www.legaluspokersites.com, or http://uspokersites.us/laws/

So what did I even do?  It's really not that significant, so don't get too excited.  Basically, I registered for a freeroll tournament (i.e. playing against TONS of people for free...therefore no banks or deposits required.  See the loophole?) and had to make it to the top 100 out of 1200+ players to get...drumroll...

NINETY CENTS!

That's for 100th place, going up to a max of $100 for first place, but luckily I surpassed the $.90 death sentence of mediocrity.

Vegas Vacation Day 6 - All you need is love…and a good p-p-p-poker face

Day 6- 2/19/15
Today we woke up a bit earlier than normal so that we would have time to hit the Hoover Dam, part of the Grand Canyon, and head back to our resort in enough time to get ready for the Beatles Cirque du Soleil show.  Busy day!

We started by heading to Dunkin' Donuts (duh) and got our caffeine and pseudo nourishment for the day before we headed out to the Hoover Dam, which was only about 40 minutes away.

Once we arrived, we knew we were going to be doing a lot of walking based on the location we parked, but at this point we were used to it.  The first thing we got an up close view of was a bottomless hole, that I had a really hard time understanding at first.  We pretty much all agreed it was definitely the tunnel the Orcs used in Lord of the Rings.

We elected to not take the Hoover Dam tour, and I'm not much of a tour person so I was happy.  It turned out that Darrell was pretty much a wealth of knowledge on the subject, and most of the really cool views were from the top anyway.

Vegas Vacation Day 5 – Batman needs a better dental plan

Happy Birthday, Mom!  Her birthday is not today, but it was on the fifth day of our trip, so I figured I’d throw a shout out to her regardless.

Day 5- 2/18/15

Because of the flexibility of the time share where we were staying, we were able to move to another Vegas resort for a couple of days, which was kind of nice because we could change it up a bit.  The Grand Desert resort was much closer, had more shuttles, and was a lot larger, although the rooms were about the same.  This one may have been a bit bigger, but they both had the same amount of space and amenities.

For lunch, we headed to Naked City Pizza, which apparently was featured on the show Diners Drive-Ins and Dives.  It was really good, despite the waitress needing a little bit of help taking our order.  From my own experience, it’s tricky to take a party of six’s order from memory without errors, which is why I don’t attempt it.  I’m assuming that it’s usually easier with pizzerias, as even larger parties likely end up sharing a pizza, two at the most, but I guess we are not most larger parties.  She got the order right eventually, I think.

After that, we were able to drive back to the resort, since we had rented a vehicle for some ease in traveling.  We wanted to head to the Hoover Dam, and possibly the Grand Canyon at some point, and we were told by many a person that renting a vehicle would be easiest.  Since a trip like that would wipe out a lot of the day, we opted to do that tomorrow, and today’s trip would be to Old Vegas on Fremont Street, which was also highly recommended to us.

Luckily for us, I thought, I was super observant after the show last night, and when we went to Harrah’s to transfer to the Rio (where the World Carnival Buffet was located) I noticed a shuttle that advertised Fremont Street, so we were going to opt for that instead of trying to drive there in hectic traffic.

I worded this whole travel scheme so poorly that everyone assumed that the shuttle was AT the Rio, which we were able to rectify before we got on the Rio shuttle, thank goodness.  This is why I’m not a travel planner.  Well, that and a lot of the SNAFUs found in Day one’s post, but that is neither here nor there.  After discovering that the shuttle was actually at Harrah’s, we investigated further and found that this was a veeeerrrrryyy roundabout way of getting to Fremont Street, and were gauging the delicate ratio of time traveling to time actually spent at the location before having to leave.  It was at this time that a lovely man calling the cabs suggested we take a limo, since it would cost more to take two cabs.  We agreed, since we were running short on time, and while most of me was super embarrassed that I was a terrible travel planner, a small portion of me was psyched to be in a limo, since I’ve never done that before.

I LOVED everything about Fremont Street.  It felt fun, cozy, and a little bit more real than the “new” Vegas where we had been occupying most of our time. 

We even got to meet some Super Heroes who I could only describe in the following way:

Vegas Vacation Day 4 - Don't Stop 'Til You Get Enough

I usually like to post my blogs over the weekend, but since it's already Monday it appears I am a day late and a dollar short.  By the end of this post you will soon realize that day four left me a bit more than a dollar short.  Karma, I guess…

Day 4- 2/17/15
Dyllon and Lisa arrived a little later than they had expected to, but it was still fairly early in the morning.  We got them situated in the condo, and then headed down to the Silver Sevens Casino and buffet.   The breakfast buffet was highly recommended to us, and if we registered for the Player's Club card, we could get it for $6.99, can't beat that!

Due to our cab debacle the night prior, we decided we would walk today, since the casino was not that far from the place we were staying.  It was also sunny out, and we figured a little walking would do us some good, since we were planning on gorging at the buffet.

Sooo…it maybe was a bit further of a walk than it appeared in a taxi cab.  It was definitely at least a mile, which wasn't awful by any means, but it took us about a half hour to walk there, considering traffic and crossing the streets.  Despite the fact that it indeed was sunny, it was not particularly warm in the shade, which was primarily where we were walking.  I'm absolutely not complaining, since at this time it was about 95 degrees warmer in Vegas than it was back home, but whether you're in 68 degree weather or -30 degree weather, dressing inappropriately for the temperature at hand is still not the most pleasant experience.  I tend to (wrongfully, for sure) plan my outfit based on the amount of sunlight outside.  It could be 80 and dark, or 20 and sunny, and I would without fail dress stupidly for both days.  It's a psychological thing, I guess.

We may have been in Nevada, but it's just about the same effect

Vegas Vacation Day 3 - Dance Walking

Day 3 - 2/16/15
Happy six-month wedding anniversary!  The only reason this even dawned on me was because my mother had mentioned a few days prior that we would be vacationing over that half-year milestone, thus proving her selflessness in not even mentioning her birthday was just two days after.  Love that woman.

Anyway, Monday was kind of a dull start, as we were wrapped up in a presentation for a majority of the afternoon, but it resulted in free golf vouchers and meal vouchers, so we were not about to complain.

Once we got back to the resort, we immediately booked tickets to a show called "Raiding the Rock Vault" that had been highly recommended to us, and we were pretty excited to go see it.  Despite the fact that we had already occupied most of the day, it was nice that most Vegas shows started at 9:30, so we had a little bit of time to explore before hand.

We hadn't really had lunch, and figured we would grab a bite to eat after the show, since we were cutting it close.  So close, in fact, that we didn't think we could necessarily rely on the hourly shuttle, so we decided to call a cab to expedite the process.

The following things happened between when the cab was called, and when the cab arrived:

• The resort shuttle arrived
• The resort shuttle left
• I called my mother, and spoke to her on the phone for 20 minutes
• The resort shuttle came back again

FORTY MINUTES AFTER WE CALLED, the cab driver finally decided to show up, and boy was that ride pleasant and cheerful.  Not awkward in the slightest.  Luckily, we were able to pick up the tickets later than we'd thought, so we were still able to grab them once we got to the Tropicana.

Super Bowl Commercials through the Years

Hey y'all.

In honor of the athletic holiday known as Super Bowl Sunday, I figured I would share some commercials I've located from throughout the decades/years.

Many say that Super Bowl commercials are some of the most iconic advertisements of the year, and I know of a handful of people who watch the sports-tacular spectacle purely for that reason.  While modern commercials are, by far and away, much more technical, edgy, and oftentimes overtly sexual and racy, Super Bowl commercials leave a legacy of epic proportions.  In no particular order, and for no particular reason, here are ten commercials from Super Bowls past.  Feast, fellow football fanatics.  (Nice alliteration, Corri!  Thanks, Internet!  Glad you noticed,)

#1 - 1969 Gillette Razor, Super Bowl III
This commercial is certainly a throwback to older times, and the voice shifting in tandem with the beard size is auditorially effective, and hella-creepy.

#2 - 1976 Xerox, Super Bowl X

This one makes me laugh because of the monks.  I oft mention the grueling process monks and early musicians had to endure before the printing press existed, and this is just a comical reminder of it.

Take me to Church

If you are familiar with this song, you probably think you know what the topic of my rant is, but I may surprise you yet.

This is a song that was recently released on my local radio station, and I found it was refreshingly unique sounding (compared to the rest of the music on the station) when I heard it, and a lot of my students were singing and talking about it intermittently.  One student mentioned to me that it was not about church at all (which I assumed) but that the video actually depicted a homosexual couple and their struggle at maintaining a relationship without judgment or harassment.  This I found intriguing, so I watched it.

WARNING- While this video is both moving and emotionally charged, it is at times violent and disturbing.  Please refrain from watching if any of the aforementioned characteristics is likely to upset you, and as noted in the video, parental guidance is suggested for anyone viewing under the age of 18.

I'm not going to get into how I feel about the video, or the lyrics, so this is a fake out for those of you that thought this was going to be some sort of social/equality/censorship tirade.  The reason I posted the actual video, and not just a video of the lyrics, is to prove a musical point.  Regardless of how you feel about the lyrics, content of the video, or implied messages within the song, I think that it's painfully obvious that the artist is conveying a message, and that the music is designed to compliment it.  The video is the icing on the cake, directing you to one interpretation of the lyrics, but I'd like to think we can all agree that this is an artistic expression on all fronts.  If that's not the case, now would be a good time to hit the back button on your browser, because my venting is actually purely music related, and if we can't agree to view this song as a work of art, we won't agree on a lot of the rest of this cathartic experience.

Draw something…ANYTHING…please?

For those that know me very well, especially when I was in my high school days, I am a bit of a conscience-prude.  Meaning, I don't like to cheat.  Like, ever.  I'm also a particularly poor liar, so these two personality traits are likely linked.

Anyway, when I play a game- be it real life or virtual- I am both in it to win it, and an honest player.  Unless it's No Limit Hold 'Em, or other games in which being dishonest is a strategy toward winning.  It is no surprise, though, that I have run across a wide gamut of cheaters in my day.  Whether it be students on homework assignments scrambling to get them done, or online randies that choose to duke it out in Words with Friends, I run across my fair share of people who want things done quickly, and not necessarily with any quality or effort involved.

With homework, I get it.  I don't condone it, obviously, but there's a lot riding on assignments and oftentimes students are overbooked and don't get things done.  Although the mature thing to do is be up front with your teacher, I can completely rationalize the thought process behind why someone would cheat or copy on their homework assignments.  I do NOT, however, understand why a consenting adult selects, downloads, and plays a game application for sheer pleasure/stress release/competitive outlet…and then chooses to play dishonestly.  Straight up makes no sense.  You want to play with others?  For fun?  And then cheat?  Por que?

Our Jamaican Honeymoon Adventure - Day 2

August 19th, Day 2

I uncharacteristically woke up early because I was so darn excited to see the view from our beachfront room.  There was not a cloud in the sky on this glorious morning, and it was just as hot as it appeared to be.  We got our beach bag ready to go with the necessities (towels, sunscreen, bug spray, books, journal, sunglasses, etc.) and headed down to the breakfast buffet.  There really wasn't an item you would want that they didn't have, and some items you would want but would have never known they had.  They had eggs, sausage, french toast with mango syrup, almond croissants, bagels, fresh fruit, yogurt, smoked salmon and marlin with various cheeses, and the best Jamaican Bacon (I like it also because it rhymes :-P) you'll probably ever find.  They also had an omelet and waffle station manned by a chef, along with juice and liquor to make mixed drinks, and even champagne to make mimosas.  Mmmmm…

After breakfast, we found a nice quiet corner of the beach that was unoccupied.  It was nearby a very fruitful tree that was growing directly in the beach water it seemed, and our beach chairs were under a cozy and convenient white trellis.  I did take some beach photos, but again, nothing that does the view justice.

Little birdies hanging out by the water tree

As we were lounging on the beach CHILLIN' OUT MAXIN' RELAXIN' ALL COOL there was a woman on the resort staff who approached us and asked if we would mind her taking a photo of us.  I was a little in awe, and very flattered!  My immediate reaction was "Man, they must think we look awesome if they want to photograph us.  Maybe they'll use the photos for promotional purposes!"  We posed for a few beachfront shots and, to my horror, the lady proceeded to photograph every other couple within a two mile radius.  Le sigh.  There goes my modeling career…

I had feared this moment would arrive, and sure enough it did.  Andrew eventually asked "Do you want to go in the water?"  Pretty harmless request, all things considered, and I did want to say yes, but all of the mysterious deep sea fish documentaries I watched had me hesitating.  If only I could get some of the floating rafts the other couples had…it was then that Andrew pointed out that our beach chair covers were flotation devices.  GENIUS.  I got the best of both worlds, as my peace of mind was intact while I was able to float alongside my adorable hubby.  (Whilst stressing about his safety should he encounter an urchin, or jellyfish, or stonefish, or Portugese man-of-war, or shark, or…)

After beach lounging we made our way to the Pallazzina restaurant where we had breakfast, this time to enjoy some lunch.  While the salads and desserts were buffet style, the lunch entrees were ordered, and I decided upon grilled snapper with pesto rice.  It was covered in a tangy parmesan cream sauce that was to die for!

After booking an excursion to Dunn's River Falls, we went to the beach party.  The staff had set up tons of beautifully decorated round top tables with an astounding buffet of countless types of food.  There were pork and jerk chicken carving stations, a la flambé desserts, fresh coconuts to drink out of, salads, sushi, seafood, pasta…everything!  

We are lousy at taking our own photos...

We then had the pleasure of watching the astounding pre-show featuring a fire dancer from Africa and the Dynamite Brothers.  As it would seem, I took way too much video, but here is a small highlight of their amazing performance.  They also came back for an UNBELIEVABLE juggling routine, followed by juggling swords and flames that were likely 500 DEGREES IN THE CARIBBEAN SEAS WITH THE HOT MAMIS SCREAMIN' "AY PAPI!"  It really was incredibly impressive, and I have a decent video but it's too large to post here. :-(

Then we got the opportunity to hear the main performance from the Silver Birds steel drum group.  This is just a small clip and it really doesn't showcase their talent, especially their lead player.  She was so incredibly fast when she was playing some of the other more demanding pieces, it was really cool to hear and also super fun to watch!

After that we headed back to the room to call it a day.  Be on the lookout for my day three post, hopefully I can get it up sooner than it took me to post day two.  :-/

Our Jamaican Honeymoon Adventure - Day 1

Hello wonderful readers!

This is my first official blog post as a married woman, huzzah!  In the absence of my horror film blogging shenanigans, I wanted to take the time to document Andrew's and my wonderful experiences on our 10-day trip to Ocho Rios, Jamaica.  I will continue my horror blogging endeavors, now that pageant and wedding chaos is done, and definitely be sure to keep up with me in October for my first ever prize giveaway!

So back to the honeymoon.  I figured it would be more bearable for us, both mentally and visually, if I broke the trip down into different days and didn't write one enormously long post.  So, without further adieu, here is the exciting tale!

August 18th, Day 1
We thought we were pretty smart to come to Syracuse the night before to stay in the airport hotel to be on time.  Andrew knows me pretty well, eh?  So our first OFFICIAL stop on the way to Jamaica was…*drumroll*…Taco Bell?  Don't judge.  After we woke up the next morning, we were shuttled to the airport to embark on our, not one, but TWO layover journey to Montego Bay airport.  Our first stop?  Charlotte, NC.  We had a few hours until our next flight, so we ate delicious strombolis at Sbarro's and chilled until our flight to MIAMI FLORIDA.

Now, I have been to Florida many times, so believe me when I say that it's not the thrill of the Sunshine State that exclusively excites me, but I have been on a Will Smith Pandora kick ever since Jenna Marbles opened Pandora's box of juicy booty shaking jams to me in one of her weekly blog updates.  I just can't get enough of the station, and anytime one of his songs comes on I kind of fangirl freakout.  I don't know what it is, but his heavily sampled, bass dropping, clean-cut MCing speaks to my soul, and I want to be his BFF.  Okay, this is getting a little personal, so I'm going to shift gears back to the point…

I ONLY CAME FOR TWO DAYS OF PLAYIN'/BUT EVERY TIME I COME I ALWAYS WIND UP STAYIN'/THIS THE TYPE OF TOWN I COULD SPEND A FEW DAYS IN/ MIAMI THE CITY THAT KEEPS THE ROOF BLAZIN'

This is pretty much what Andrew had to endure the entire layover, God bless him, but luckily I had little to no voice after the wedding.  Mild sickness + drinking + heavy karaoke = hoarse whisper.  After the BIENVENIDO A MIAMI layover, we hopped on our last flight of the day to Montego Bay.  There was a very boisterous couple across from me on the plane, who were nice enough, but did not follow directions or any real form of social etiquette very well.  I resurrected my journal in order to document the trip, and the lovely man across the aisle asks me a question.  I was in la la land and didn't hear it, or didn't think I heard it, so I asked him to repeat it.

"Excuse me miss, are you an author?"

I guess this question isn't THAT obscure, as I was writing, but honestly?  Did he really think that?  It pains me to admit that the mere fact that I was actually physically writing probably made his head spin, and he must have thought that such an antiquated form of communication would be the work of fiction itself.  Not to mention that when he looked closely enough,  he could see that I was using cursive.  "What sorcery is this, woman?  This is madness!  You are writing in the Devil's tongue!"  Okay, I'm embellishing, but I was also writing in a purple magnetic 4x6 notebook with hummingbirds on it in size 42 font, so maybe if he'd thought about it for a second, he could have MacGyver-ed his way to a more logical conclusion.

We landed in Montego bay at 7:06 pm, and it was dark.  Huh?  As it turns out, Jamaica doesn't observe Daylight Savings, so they are an hour behind our time, despite being in the same time zone.  We walked down the not-so-glamorous stairs on our way to customs when, hold the phone, my NAME IS ON A PLACARD.  There is a woman legitimately waiting for both Andrew and I like we are VIP rock stars.  I was on cloud 9.  We met Chenice and she talked us through what we would need to get through customs, primarily our passports and customs forms.  Passport- check,  customs form- wait.  Uncheck that item.  My passport was not in my possession!  As soon as I realized it I knew exactly where it was…on the plane, in the seat back pocket.  NOW THIS IS A STORY ALL ABOUT HOW MY LIFE GOT FLIP-TURNED UPSIDE DOWN- NO!  Not today.  The plane is literally only feet away from us; I know it's on there and I refuse to let my negligence ruin our honeymoon!  Andrew, on the other hand, refuses to let me further botch things in a slow-paced fashion, so he runs back to get it for me.  I married a gentleman and a scholar.

Chenice's face returned to its normal color when he returned with said Passport, and because Andrew is extra awesome, he booked us Club Mobay VIP passes to secure us an escort that will let us cut everyone in the customs line and then take us to a fancy club afterward.  UN.BELIEVABLE.  We got to the club and they offered us drinks, sandwiches, and cold towels.  (Wait, those exist?)  We took a little bit of everything, and let me tell you how invigorating a citrus-scented cold towel feels on your flushed American face at 8:00 pm in a Jamaican airport: very.  From here on out, minus tipping and extras, it's all inclusive, folks.  We went across the way to the other club facility to wait for our driver and grab some Red Stripe tap beer.  It's a lot like a light lager, and I'm not much of a beer drinker, but it's Jamiaca, mon!  We had just started sipping when our driver arrived, so we said we'd chug them, to which he replied, "No, mon!  Take it with you!"  Coolness.

We had an hour and a half drive ahead of us, and we were only riding with one other couple, who had the same wedding date as we did!  I know this because it was elegantly bedazzled onto the back of her hoodie.  They were traveling to the Couples Tower resort, while we were headed to Couples Sans Souci resort, so we got off first since ours was closer.

Once we arrived at the resort, we were greeted and shown our room.  It was pretty amazing and so spacious!

Flower petals on our bed?  Tres romantique!

Jacuzzi spa bathtub, yeah mon!

After we settled in, we decided to go exploring, even though it was dark out.  I was a little apprehensive, as I was kind of scared that there would be large and exotic species of spider, snake, or scorpion wandering about in the eve time, but we went anyway, and I just ninja-stepped everywhere to ensure my safety.  We got a look at the main pool, but since it was dark the photo doesn't do it justice. 

We met one of the bartenders, Pete, who made us a special drink called a Stinger, which was quite yummy!  He offered to take us around to show us the real Jamaica if we wanted, which was a separate ordeal from the resort, but we kindly declined, in our wishy washy way of sounding like we're interested.  After perusing the resort, it was off to bed, and I could hardly wait to wake up to a sunlight scoured beachfront view in the morning! 

Day 1, over and out!

New Blog!

Whilst I am in the process of periodically updating you on my life via this blog, I'd LOVE to have you check out my new, useful blog at http://www.filmfilteroff.blogspot.com.  You'll LLLOOOOOOOVEEE it and I'll LLOOOOOVVVVVEEEE you!  Thanks!

-Corri

P.S.-Twitter me!

Ridiculous Random Stories #2, #3, and #4

So, Happy Belated Birthday to me!  In commemoration of 24 exciting years on earth, I visited my charming, handsome beau, Roberto, in Utica NY.  That may not seem like a thrilling destination trip, but I had my share of epic adventures.

RRS #2

So I woke up on Saturday the 19th, ready to go.  The news was on (I was in Clayton where there was cable TV) and apparently a crap-ton of snow had just descended upon all of Oneida County, and I bet you wouldn't need three guesses to determine which county I was headed toward.  Whatever- I live in Upstate NY, and went to school in Buffalo, so it really couldn't be any worse than anything I'd previously driven in, so I ventured onward, leaving myself enough time to get to the restaurant before Rob got home.

*Prologue* Since Valentine's Day is always a week prior to my birthday I didn't get to see Rob, since he was working and I had school, so we were going to double dip and celebrate both holidays together.  My brilliant idea was to surprise him by randomly (to him at least) bursting into song in the middle of dinner.  I picked out the song and restaurant, made the CD and the reservation, and was ready to surprise the pants off of him!

Back to the journey...so I'm on the road in Lowville, and the roads aren't GREAT, but they certainly aren't awful.  Whilst driving behind a silver Toyota, I find myself second in a very long line of vehicles behind a very slow snow plow.  I am the first one to enjoy being behind a plow when in cataclysmic conditions, but on a 55 mph road going 25 mph, I was getting a little restless, as were the eight or so vehicles behind me.  The SUV on my tail actually pulled into oncoming traffic for a wee bit to see if he could pass myself, Toyota (that's her name for now) AND the plow.  Realizing that that wasn't probably the best idea, I figured I would attempt to make the passing instead, since the vehicle ahead of me wasn't initiating anything.  In fact, Toyota had applied the brakes twice while behind the plow, so I was very inclined to think Toyota had vehicle problems.  Anyway, before I got the chance to pass, Toyota passed, and I followed.  Hooray!  The roads were, again, not treacherous, and we drove a comfortable distance apart for the next 20 minutes or so, until we reached the light in Lowville where route 12 takes a right.  The light is green.  Toyota stops, parks, and gets out of her vehicle, and approaches Pheobe (the name of my PT Cruiser).  I'm thinking "Crap, something is wrong with my vehicle and she's going to inform me about it...I hope it's not expensive..."  I roll down my window and she says something similar to the following:

"Do you know what tailgating is?  Do you realize that you were tailgating me the entire time?  Where did you expect me to go?  WHERE was I supposed to go?  You know, I have two pieces of precious cargo in my car- they are called my children, and I don't feel like sliding off the road and endangering their lives because you don't know how to drive!..."

Ok, woah.  Is this really happening?  Is this woman REALLY chewing me out for something that A) I didn't realize I was doing because when people are stuck behind slower moving vehicles they tend to be closer together and B) I believe she is exaggerating because I was no closer to her than anyone else was to each other.  Woah!  So, I calmly interrupt her and say (realizing her intent with the braking)

"I'm sorry, I apologize if you thought I was driving too close.  But I also don't think brake-checking me is the way to solve the problem"  (Oh yeah, the light is still green)

"I only TAPPED ON THEM!" I think she should have to pay for the portion of my steering wheel that she charred with the flames that erupted from her mouth when she screeched those words.

The rant continues about my poor driving skills, her poor babies (that are sitting in an unlocked, parked Toyota at a green light.  What precious cargo.), my insensitivity and accusations of me being the antichrist and eating babies.  Okay, I exaggerated some of that, but I definitely got that vibe.  So, I interrupt again,

"Again, I aplologize if I was too close to you, but right now we are holding up traffic at a-"

"I DON'T GIVE A SHIT!  You need to learn how to freakin' drive!  Where on earth was I..."

Wow.  Stupid me for trying to be logical.  Clearly we can conclude the following from this flamboyant situation:

1) I am a bad driver, and thrive on frightening and endangering the lives of others, especially children.
2) I exhibit signs of road rage.  Ha.
3) I am an irrational driver who cannot remain calm, thus resulting in road rage. (See number 2)

Okay, again I am exaggerating, because to be honest this situation plagued me all the way to Utica.  I felt like total garbage, and for those of you who know me- you KNOW how bent out of shape I get when I feel like I have upset someone.  So I played this awful situation back and forth in my mind, fantasized about saying what I REALLY wanted (and that is why I have a blog) and came to the conclusion that I handled the situation exactly how I wanted to, and should have.

I'm not going to say that I wasn't tailgating her, and I'm not going to say that it was right to do so just because the line of nine or so vehicles behind me were doing the same; I am NOT a perfect driver.  However, can we agree that this woman was being really delusional and a little bonkers by getting out of her car and chastising me like a puppy that peed the rug?  I mean, she is a LUCKY woman to be able to chew out a driver that pissed her off- how many times do we encounter someone who we think should re-evaluate their ability to operate a vehicle, and we just have to slam on the brakes, honk our horns and deal with it.  If we stop and approach everything that we find distasteful in the world with the attitude she exhibited, we're going to find ourselves in a very overprotective, negative, and sometimes just illogical frame of mind.  Sometimes it's just best to move on and get over it.  So, Toyota, please move on and get over it.

RRS #3

So I get to Utica, and stop at the restaurant to make a reservation and set up the surprise.  I picked out a secluded table, dropped off the CD and the valentine, and went on my merry way.  I had to stop at Family Dollar to kill some time, and I realized I hadn't gotten Rob a Valentine's day card.  Even though it was a good week after the holiday, they still had one card left.  It was hot pink and two and a half feet tall.  Well, if I'm going to embarrass Rob I might as well go all out, so I bought it.

So Rob finally got home from work, and I gave him his card and he gave me Battlestar Galactica seasons one and two.  AMAZING!  I told him that we should probably get ready for dinner, and he kept asking where we were going, but I wouldn't tell him.  So then my phone rings, and in my fit of laziness I ask Rob to tell me who it is...aaaand it's the restaurant where we are supposed to be dining- no more surprise there.  Apparently, the CD I gave them won't work, and I have to give them suggestions on how to fix it in Rob's zero privacy apartment in a discreet enough manner that he won't know what's going on.  So I get off the phone and he says "What are you planning?"  Fail.  I tried to lie my way out of it, but he most definitely wasn't convinced.  He had also just helped me figure out how to put AA batteries in the camera I borrowed to document this epic event, so he definitely put two and two together.

So I don't get another phone call from the restaurant, and I hope that means they fixed it, so we headed out to dinner.  We hadn't gotten our salads yet, so I figured this was the perfect time to sing.  Alas, after I excused myself for the restroom (which I almost never do at dinner) the CD still didn't work, so they said to come back in two minutes and they'd see if they could get it on the bar stereo.  Well, halfway through my salad, the bar music cuts out and an obnoxiously loud recording of the song I was to serenade him with blared from the bar.  Rob asks me what's going on, and I hastily look at my salad and say "How would I know?"  Cover blown.  I excuse myself AGAIN (he must think I have IBS...) and the manager decides to set up some dessert wines at the bar and have me do it there.  So Rob and I have a seat at the bar, start to sip the wine and...cue music?  What...wait!  I only have two beats of music before I come in!  So I get up, grab the valentine, ask them to start the music over, and serenade him awkwardly at the bar. 

So, there was no real surprise, but it worked out and is recorded for your viewing pleasure.

Afterward, we got to enjoy a flaming banana dessert in the company of a very ditzy bartender who asked me, "Wow, so you like, wrote that song for him and performed it for him?"  I had to explain that, no, I did not write it, but Elton John did (Your Song), to which she replies to Rob, "Ohhh.  You must've felt kind of dumb, you probably should've had, like, an engagement ring ready or something!"  Wow...does she want to single-handedly ruin my relationship with her idiotic remarks?  We just laughed it off and ignored her.



RRS #4: 

So, pretty full weekend, huh?  It gets better!  Monday was my birthday, and I got to pick whatever we wanted to do that day!  So what did I decide to do?  Pass out.  That's right folks, I straight up fainted on my birthday.  Thank goodness Rob was there to (gently) slap me to consciousness (which he still feels really bad about).

Hands down, it was definitely the most memorable birthday I've had. :)

Ridiculous Random Story #1

Hello again,

Throughout this blog, much like throughout my life, you will probably find a sprinkling of random stories.  Some might be recent, or long past, but for one reason or another I have felt the need to bring the story to your attention.  Some are clearly more ridiculous than others, but they all make me chuckle in some way.  So sit back, relax, and enjoy my first edition of the ridiculous randoms.

Ridiculous Random Story #1- Viggo-tastic


So...the day is like any other day:  I'm at my apartment trying to make myself presentable for my alter-ego profession as a hostess/waitress.  My mom (who works at the same place as I do) calls:

"Guess who's coming in tonight?"
Me: "The Wilcoxes?"  Har har.  You've GOT to know these people to find that even slightly humorous.
Mom: "No, Viggo Mortensen!  Are you hostessing?"
Me: "Yep."
Mom: "Make sure you look nice"

Thanks, Mom.  I'll try not to look skank-tastic for the celebrity who happens to be local.  Trying to accomplish this whilst my eye is inflamed, red and irritated thus forcing me to wear glasses from the ninth grade AND wearing a shirt that apparently makes me look like Jason DeRulo proved to be quite a conundrum.

                                                    J.D.                                                ME                                                    

...we could be twins.

Anywho, so sure enough I get in to work and there's the name on the reservation sheet.  "Mortinsen"  Uhhh, spell check anyone?  Good thing even Viggo isn't privy to the information (be it spelled incorrectly) in our reservation book.  As you can imagine, the hired help are buzzing with excitement...other than myself, who was given the daunting task of trying to find a way to seat a party of ten and a party of five on our soaked deck while it is sprinkling out without getting anyone wet.  Yay.

So he comes in at 5:52 (for a 5:45 reservation, but who's counting?) and they start to walk slightly past the "Please Wait to be Seated" sign.  Come on, he's a CELEBRITY!  So I say, "Ahem, two for dinner?"  The man speaks 5 languages and he can't read a sign in English?  Kidding, kidding.  They mention the fact that they have a reservation so I calmly seat them at table 8, the table coveted by many at the Riverside (including the Wilcoxes).

Shortly thereafter, I got to clock out and drink, so we chat at the bar about Viggo.  My boss is dying to know where Heraldo (Hidalgo) is.  Another regular patron at the bar is trying to figure out this movie Virgil (Viggo) was in where he played a bartender with a secret identity.  Meanwhile, my boss is being very persistent about the whereabouts of Hirago (Hidalgo) and where Viggaro (Viggo) keeps him.  You can see where this is going.  I sure did, so in attempts to save Viggo from 18 ridiculous questions upon leaving the restaurant, I attempt to retrieve the information off my phone...to no avail.  I was roaming, so the information did not get to me before Viggo got to the door.  As he walks by, the man at the bar struggling to remember the name of film turns to my boss and whispers "Is that him?", to which my boss simply nods.  So the man turns to Viggo and shouts from his bar stool, "Hey Virgo!  Virgo, come 'ere, I gotta ask you something."

... really?  

REALLY?!  Did he REALLY just call this multi million dollar grossing film star the WRONG NAME and beckon him over to his bar stool?  He sure did.  Instead of Viggo turning and walking away, since one could only imagine what the intentions of the bar patron were, he politely acknowledges his request and comes over.  The man asks him, "What was that movie you were in where you were the bartender with a secret identity?" to which he responds, "A History of Violence", and quietly walks away as the man at the bar turns to us telling us all about the movie and how great it was.  Awkward.

The moral of the story is...well, nothing.  But I know of many people at a non-celeb status that would have turned and walked away from this very sweet, although maybe a little socially awkward, man at the bar.  It just goes to show that kindness and gads of money are not mutually exclusive- although Viggo Mortensen certainly has both.

I'm going to eat a tuna melt now.  Ta ta!