Corri's Post-Christmas Naughty & Nice (Play)List

Hello friends, and Merry Christmas to you!

Since Christmas Day is officially behind us, one of my favorite radio stations has ceased its nonstop December Christmas music marathon.  Sad face.  Hearing many of the same, quintessential holiday songs in different arrangements made me nostalgic for my Christmas post in 2014 where I rated the top 10 best/worst holiday songs.  I re-visited the list today and noticed that not only do I have additional songs to add to both lists, but that I disagree with my past self on a few of the items.  Go figure.  Here is my 2017 version of the top five best and worst Christmas songs.  Enjoy, and let me know what you think!

Worst:

5) Winter Wonderland - The Eurythmics
I heard this song on the radio several times this season, and I found myself wanting to pull over out of fear each time the intro played.  The rest of the song is ok, but humor me for a second, and imagine this introduction without vocals.  The 80s synthesizer of death is beyond terrifying, and needs to go.

4) Step into Christmas - Elton John
I don't actually mind this song all that much.  I think it's clever, catchy, and kind of fun, actually.  Much like it's predecessor on this list though, I have a huge problem with one part, and it ruins the song for me completely.  After the first or second refrain, each time he says "The admission's free", it sounds like you just lost a life in a game of Number Munchers.  Who sat in the mixing booth and decided that should remain in the final cut?  Yuck.

3) All I Want for Christmas is You - Vince Vance & The Valiants ft. Lisa Layne
Maybe it's just because I am not a huge country fan that I don't like this song, but every time it comes on, it feels like a low budget dirty movie soundtrack to me.  Her voice is just so rugged and out of control that I don't enjoy listening to it.  I do feel badly that the title of their song got hijacked and ultimately ended in much more popularity than the original, but I would contest that the Mariah Carey song which shares this title is much better.

2) I Like a Sleigh Ride (Jingle Bells) - Peggy Lee
If you can get past the 14 "I Like a Sleigh Ride" repetitions to get into the meat of the song, it's actually not too bad, but anytime the children come back in with that horrific part, any progress made is irrevocably undone.  Did she lose a bet?  Did she owe someone a favor?  Who is thinking that these children ADD to this holiday song?  Not I.  Not I, indeed.

1) Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas - Christina Aguilera
I hadn't ever heard this arrangement until a few days ago, and about halfway through the first verse, my husband and I could not stop laughing.  While Miss Aguilera is arguably one of the most vocally acrobatic of singers, her interpretation in most of her music makes the resulting song un-singable.  The only thing worse than not being able to sing along to a song on the radio is not being able to sing along with a Christmas song on the radio, and Xtina makes that goal absolutely impossible to meet.  A lot of times less is more, and by oversinging every phrase to the point of hilarity, it almost makes the song feel like a mockery.  Oversinging might drive the point home that you are capable of incredibly difficult melismas and runs, but it also highlights your inability to think musically and to put what enhances the song's meaning above what enhances your vocal abilities.

Best:

5) I Love the Winter Weather - Tony Bennett
This song is soon underrated!  I don't remember hearing it prior to this Christmas season, but I heard it several times and it just made me so jolly.  His voice has such an easiness to it that I find incredibly relaxing.  The way the piece ties in with "I've Got My Love to Keep Me Warm" also doesn't hurt, since that is one of my favorite wintertime songs as well.

4) Winter Wonderland - Jason Mraz
I think we can all agree that this is one of the most coveted of carols to cover (pretty good alliteration, amiright?), but as is the case with most songs with a high quantity of covers, most are average at best, and few are high quality and different enough to both separate itself from the original, while still doing it homage.  This song, in my opinion, does a fantastic job at both.  His plucky and rhythmic accompaniment suits his voice impeccably, and changes the piece in a really fun way without making it unrecognizable.  Kudos, Jason Mraz.  Ya done good.

3) Sleigh Ride
While many re-makes of this song are great, this recording is my favorite.  Some songs are, well, just perfect the first time around.  While I don't mind re-imaginings of this classic piece, this one will always be the best for me.

I am mildly annoyed, though, that someone decided to add lyrics, because now I sing the lyrics in my head when I hear the instrumental version and I feel like it is overshadowing my attempt to hear the story from the instrumental perspective, which may have nothing to do with the chestnuts going "pop pop pop!".  It's sort of like seeing the movie before the book, and being unable to visualize the characters in a way other than the appearance of the actors or actresses.

(There COULD NOT be a better thumbnail for this video)

2) Carol of the Bells - Pentatonix
I know I mentioned in my post from three years ago that any Pentatonix Christmas arrangement is a contender, but I feel this one needs to be called out on its own.  Is it lovely?  Yes.  Is the arrangement equal parts complex and yet recognizable?  Also yes.  But let's focus for a moment on a part that I think is utterly brilliant, and most likely unappreciated: the magic that is 2:18.  What is Mitch even doing?  It's not really human.  His accuracy and delicacy with a run that is both lengthy and very complex is astounding to me.  I'm not naive enough to believe that he sang it through the four or five times it is played in this recording, as I'm sure it was recorded and replayed, but the fact that he can do it even once that well is enough to make me a lovely shade of holly green with envy.  Well done, indeed!

1) We Need a Little Christmas - Johnny Mathis
So, after those accolades, what could top that?  None other than Johnny Mathis, of course!  What I love specifically about this rendition of this song is the same thing that I love about The Drifters' version of White Christmas: the unabashed, full throttle passion of the singer.  While this song is fantastic in its own merit, and I love the bouncy joviality of it, just do me a favor and listen to the last 15 seconds.  Johnny Mathis slays that note, and there's absolutely nothing half-assed about it.  Plus, this was likely recorded in a time (also like the Drifters' piece) where they weren't necessarily able to stop and re-record in the middle of phrases, and I respect them so much more for having to do complete takes with crazy accuracy.  Nowadays, singers can go measure by measure, hell, even beat by beat until they get it, or just slosh their way through a piece and correct it with auto-tuning later.  Props to you, Johnny Mathis, for killing it on probably the first take, and not backing away from a crazy powerful high note ending, despite having likely exhausted yourself singing the whole song with unmatchable gusto.

Thanks for reading, and again, let me know if you have others you think I missed!  Merry Christmas, and Happy New Year!

Wrapping up Christmas - 10 Tips for Gift Wrapping Success

As Christmas draws near, I actually find myself ready for the glorious gift-giving extravaganza.  Having been a consistent December 23rd shopper in the past, this is kind of a big deal, a lot of which I attribute to the wee one that is now a part of my life.  Something that has always been special to me, though, has been gift wrapping.

Back in the day, the reigning Miss Thousand Islands was invited to wrap gifts at Borders Book Store in the mall (God, I miss that store...) and even in the years where I wasn't the winner, I found myself there helping.  I take the role of third wheel to an alarming degree, I suppose.  Anyway, it was those experiences and people that taught me a lot about the efficiency needed for the basics, and how to gift wrap some obscenely large and obtuse gifts.

Another thing my memory draws upon this time of year is the creativity my father exhibited while wrapping gifts.  Tissue paper, curling ribbon, bows, spacial awareness and symmetry were all cleverly put to work in any given one of my father's gifts to another person.

I guess I felt, with the big day being tomorrow, I would share some of the things I have learned in hopes that it might make your holiday a little more festive.  Without further adieu, I present ten pieces of advice for wrapping, and decorating, your gifts this holiday season.

1) Invest in the best.
I learned this the hard way this year as I was re-using some of the wrapping paper I had purchased last year.  While the roll had a lot more paper on it than other rolls I had purchased, it wasn't labeled "heavy duty" and therefore ripped when a heavier package was being maneuvered.  I have since purchased some heavy duty wrap, and while it is a bit pricier and may not go as far, it certainly looks cleaner and doesn't tear as easily.  It's sort of like toilet paper; you can go cheap and 'get more', or you can invest a little more for the two-ply brand and have a softer, cleaner bum.

While we're on the topic of purchasing, it's hard to wrap gifts properly if you don't plan ahead.  It's sort of like when I go grocery shopping without a list, and get a bunch of food items that have no business going together.  Planning out color schemes for ribbons, bows, and paper is important, so taking an inventory of what you have already vs. what you need will help you to plan ahead and not purchase things that have a low probability of being used.

2) Measure.
Many styles of wrapping paper now come with a grid on the flip side, which assists in this step greatly.  A lot of the time, especially with bigger packages, you can merely count how many squares occupy the long end, double it, and then do the same for the width, which saves moving a large and heavy parcel that could tear the paper if you're not careful.

A lot of times, I only measure for the length, because who wants to have to awkwardly cut a swatch to fill the gap in between the ends of the paper?  Having excess paper on the short ends of the packages, though, also presents its own problems, especially with folding.  You should always trim any excess off the ends to ease the folding process, although measuring beforehand will alleviate the problem altogether.

3) There's more than one way to skin a cat.
Yuck.  This isn't a literal piece of advice, thankfully.  For far too long, however, I was only instructed in my tried and true way of folding in the ends of wrapping paper, as evidenced below:

Eventually, one of my gift wrapping gurus showed me an additional way to wrap the ends of a gift, which I now use more frequently:

Upon further research, I think this is how most people are traditionally taught to wrap the ends of paper, but I will say having two methods is helpful in different scenarios.

4) I'm on the edge, of glory.
Speaking of edges, now is a good time to suggest that ALL edges of the gift wrap be folded before they are taped down.  Especially if you cut paper with scissors as horrendously as I do, this step serves to completely remove any evidence of scissors-related debauchery.  It also cleans up the look, as things will appear more parallel and less ragged.

5)  To see, or not to see.  That is the question.
This one is up to personal taste, but if clean wrapping and visual aesthetics are your goal, then it is a good suggestion to utilize the magic that is double sided tape, or my new favorite adhesive, glue dots.  It doesn't make sense to measure paper meticulously and fold edges for the sake of perfection if the scotch tape is going to be visible and disrupt the line you've created, or hidden, depending on the gift wrap.  I don't personally mind the tape being visible, as it's not easily seen, but I would encourage those of us who do err on the side of visible tape to place it "with the grain" or parallel to the wrapping paper, rather than perpendicular.  It is a more efficient use of adhesive, and is not as easily spotted.

6) Think outside the box.
Literally.  Sometimes, the gift is just too square a peg to fit the round hole you're trying to jam it into.  In cases like this, remember that gifts can be just as beautifully presented in a purchased box, or a gift bag, and saves you a lot of time and hassle.  Oftentimes, you can also wrap cylindrical gifts, as shown below, by having an excess of wrapping paper on one end that you can tie off with curling ribbon.  Keep in mind the implicit need for heavy duty wrapping paper, though.

7) Simple vs. ornate.
I don't necessarily feel that one gift wrap type is better than the other, as decisions for each are purely circumstantial.  The decor decisions needing to be made are pretty straightforward, though.  With ornate wrapping paper, such as flamboyant patterns, Christmas scenes, or characters, less is more with decor.  The paper itself is a statement, and needs little else to balance it out.  This type of paper is usually a better fit for bigger packages, which provide a larger canvas with which to portray the paper.  Simple colored ribbon matching a more subtle accent color within the design could be enough, but be sure to avoid having too much stuff, as it can often appear cluttered or tacky.

Simple, on the other hand, can be much more fun and malleable.  A simple multi-colored, or even single colored paper has so many possibilities.  Ribbons, bows, or a combination of both can work wonders in contrasting colors from the paper, or accented colors within it.  Should you have the paper without the measuring boxes on the flip side, using the opposite side of the paper to wrap (which is usually white) gives you an endless amount of color options to use for decor, giving you an opportunity to use less conventional and more unique hues such as purple. pink, orange, yellow, etc.

8) I've got a blank space, baby.
Or at least, I hope you do.  Filling up the entire canvas, much like a work of art, is visually confusing and very loud.  Consider a few things when analyzing your spatial situation: package size, type and location of desired decoration, type of paper, name tag size and shape, empty space (to allow the decoration design some breathing room).  Not EVERYTHING has to be in the center or in the top left corner, you know.  Mix it up a bit!  Put name tags in the center with bows above or below.  Put ribbons off center and to the left, and accent them with a contrasting shaped to/from tag.  There are endless ways to use your space when finalizing your gift, so make sure to map it out before making it permanent.

9) Spice up your life.
While waiting for my most recent dentist appointment, I was reading a christmas decor magazine, and found four really easy ways to add decor to your packages.  Tinsel balls, colored medallions, themed holiday shapes made from wire, or paper cone-shaped trees.  While I didn't elect to use the cone trees, and immensely struggled with the wire-bending, I felt that the diversity of the bow decor helped my gifts have more personality, and not look so same-y.  Even if my craft floor is now facing the unclean-able wrath of cut up tinsel shrapnel.

10) Curly is not your only option.
This year, for the first time, I purchased (yes, I'll admit it was accidental) non-curling ribbon.  The horror!  I really didn't know what to do with it, but I tried it with a few packages and I found that, much like the diversity in bows, the differences in ribbon really complemented some of the gifts I was wrapping.  I also had fun making some of them out of the ordinary, as shown below, with contrasting colors to really make a statement.  Is it a great statement?  Probably not, but it looks purty to me and I received a lot of satisfaction out of making it come to life.

In summary, I need to tell you that I am not the best gift wrapper in the world.  By FAR.  I think Shelby Cohen probably is.  She is the Obi Wan that taught this little Jedi-wrapper all her skills, but at the end of the day, everyone does it differently, and that's why gift-wrapping is so special.  Some gifts are casual, while some are more elegantly adorned.  Others are wrapped by that last-minute Tasmanian devil friend we all have with serial killer handwriting, and sometimes those are the best ones to see.  Whatever your gift wrapping style, know that it matters little what it is, and more that it is wrapped with love, and is a gift that is thoughtful and meaningful.

Happiest of Holidays, and Merry Christmas!

"Life is Hard": thoughts from my 8th graders and things I no longer have time for...

...like figuring out how to properly capitalize the rest of that title.  I must have tried it at least three different ways before I just gave up and succumbed to uncapitalized letters.  Whatev.

So yeah, it's been awhile.  Despite what my husband believes, I don't actually enjoy making excuses, although I tend to have more than my share of them.  Here are the excuses, er, reasons I've been absent these past few months:

• Full time job
• Beginning my school's musical
• Christmas concerts galore
• Buying a new house
• Moving into said house
• Taking a psychology class online
• Studying for said class' midterm and final
• Preparing and proposing my thesis for my graduate degree
• Being pregnant

One of my 8th graders said what we're all thinking the other day in class, and I have to echo her sentiments wholly, "Life is hard".  I can't remember exactly what we were discussing to make this realization hit her hard enough to vocalize it to the chorus, but it got a chuckle out of me, as I sarcastically responded with something akin to, "Yes, my little chickadee, life as an 8th grader is really difficult, but I assure you that your life gets no easier than it is right now."  She, and the rest of the class looked at me as though I had just replaced all of their Christmas gifts with coal, but despite our significant age gap, I do remember what 8th grade was like, and it did suck.  However, if I could take the bills, loans, paperwork, spam mail, and money problems in my adult life and swap them with my junior high cherubs' woes of gossip, friendship, missing the bus, forgetting homework, and relationship drama, I would do it in a heartbeat.

While I didn't have the time to go on a motivational speaker-like tangent at the time, there have been at least two different occasions where this story has come up these past few weeks, and I figured now was the best time to tackle the issue.

Newsflash: life IS hard.  It's probably the hardest thing you'll have to do, like, ever.  The other thing to be aware of, though, is that you are ultimately in charge of it.  I think too often we (and I am definitely included here, given the excuse-making scenario above) tend to place blame on so many external factors when things don't go the way we want them to.  While, yes, sometimes things get in the way and it is a perfectly justifiable reason for things not going to plan, when this happens again, and again, you need to ask yourself if you truly are the butt of some cosmological joke where legitimate issues ALWAYS prevent life from going your way, or maybe- just maybe- you are subconsciously making excuses for why things didn't go the way they were supposed to.  Perhaps, you are getting in your own way more than you'd care to admit.

Maybe this doesn't apply to you, but at times it certainly applies to me, so I have done a little soul searching and am attempting to make the most out of my time.  In preparation for a new year, I have compiled five pieces of advice for you to take into 2016.  Maybe you don't need all of them, but I'd encourage you to at least check them out.  While we always want things to go smoothly, it's often the more turbulent moments that we gain the most wisdom, so I'm hoping you can take some of my turbulence and learn from it, so that you can have a happy, healthy, and productive New Year!

STOP PROCRASTINATING.  As a high schooler and college student, this was an acceptable trait I possessed, and the excuse "Well, I work better under pressure!" was cute.  Now, in my late 20s, not completing things in a timely fashion or with my best effort is neither cute, nor acceptable, and I have had to face some consequences this year for my less-than-adult-like behaviors.  Nothing huge, but big enough for me to take a look at what I was doing from an objective perspective to see that I was ultimately the cause of my own turmoil.  I'll address this more specifically later, but proper time management is HUGE.  This is information that, as a mom-to-be, all of my mom-friends are sharing with me left and right, and while I'm sure I won't properly understand it until I have my child I'm doing what I can to be proactive about my time now.  And let me tell you, it makes a difference.

TAKE IT EASY WITH SOCIAL MEDIA.  The older I get, the less this social media experience makes sense to me.  "Mrs. Willis, are you on Tumblr?  Do you know what Tinder is?  What about YikYak?"  No, no, and no.  Seriously?  This is what you do when you get home from school?  See what others in the world are doing?  How is that even satisfying?  I am guilty of the occasional Facebook stalking as much as the next person, but at least these are people I know.  I felt the same blatant distaste when reality shows like The Real World, Survivor, and Big Brother started coming out.  While they are all entertaining I'm sure, let me break this down for you: You are literally watching other people live their life.  Sue me, but I find that incredibly boring, and please believe that I have enough amazing and interesting people in my ACTUAL social circles that I'd rather live my life with them, than watch and read about other people living theirs.  Give real life a chance, you guys.  Give it a chance.

LOOK AT THE BIG PICTURE.  It utterly confuses me when I see people so caught up with "living in the moment" that they make rash decisions that could impact the rest of their life without thinking.  Being a high school teacher I see a lot of drama, broken relationships, gossip, and changing of friend circles, and I think that is a part of growing up, finding yourself, and finding who you click with.  But what about adulthood?  I'm hoping that at this point, we know ourselves well enough to decide who we can or cannot "play nice with", which makes half of this equation easier, but I can't lie that my heart breaks a little when I hear about friends or family that have a "falling out."  

I can't be in everyone's shoes, and I don't know everyone's perspective, so I'm sure there are legitimate reasons for cutting people out of one's life.  If a relationship is no longer healthy, it serves you no purpose anymore, and I get that, but I suppose when it's family I just get sad about it.  Some things are out of your control: substance abuse, addiction, and innate stubbornness being a few.  Obviously you are only one side of the relationship, but take a look at your position: are you the one prohibiting the relationship from being mended?  If so, is it really worth it?  

I'm not casting judgment, and I know that every circumstance is different, but coming from a position where I seriously considered permanently shutting out my father, all I can say is now I am very glad I didn't.  Not having him around anymore, I now no longer have the choice, and I cherish every moment we got to spend together- some much happier memories than others.  Having him be ill for so long just got me thinking, "What if I told him I didn't want him in my life anymore, and he was gone the next day?  How would I feel knowing that was the last thing I said to my father?"  If you have a broken relationship, and it's important to you, fight for it.  Try to repair it.  No one is going to be around forever, and regret is a terrible thing to have to live with.

MAKE TIME FOR WHAT'S IMPORTANT.  2015 was a big year for my husband and I, for a lot of the reasons stated above.  One of the things that was good for me with all of the changes that were coming about, was whittling out what I did, and did not have time for.  This forced me to take a look at my schedule, and basically clear it out of everything that was going to interfere with my immediate goals: stay employed, be a good wife, be a good mom.  Pretty small list, but one would be naive to think that any one of these three goals is easy, and doesn't come at the cost of a lot of time, effort, and planning.  I made the decision to drop just about everything I was doing that was not family or work related, and while I am bummed at the fact that some of my most beloved activities and singing groups are now on the back burner or are dissipated, I am happy with the choices I've made.  17-27 year-old Corri was unmarried, baby-less, and had the world at her fingertips.  I knew that at some point I wouldn't have all of that free time, so I did a lot of things, like...

• Traveling to Jamaica, Scotland, Wales, Great Britain, and Italy
• Playing ultimate frisbee
• Competing in pageants
• Baton twirling
• Working with one of my best friends to create a 501c3 not for profit pageant organization
• Playing poker
• Joining barbershop choruses, quartets, and a cappella groups
• Blogging
• Competing in Cornhole tournaments
• Visiting the two most magical places on earth with my fiancé (the Jurassic Park World and the Harry Potter World at Universal Studios)

...among many other things.  Despite the fact that my bucket list has more unscratched items than scratched items I'm not giving up on it yet, but I do need to take a break and focus on my family. The last 10 years have been awesome, and I've grown a lot.  While the things I've been a part of, done and seen are very important to me, I have new goals that require my time and dedication.  Making time for what's important is not about eliminating the past, so much as it is balancing it with the present, and planning for the future.

DON'T SACRIFICE PRECIOUS TIME FOR WHAT ISN'T IMPORTANT.  This sort of continues my rant with social media, but I suppose that's mostly because I don't find it as important as I used to.  While blogging is a hobby of mine, I do it for me, because I enjoy it.  Facebook, on the other hand, is a connective tool for me to stay in touch with friends and family that I don't often get to see.  Because I have been watching a lot of Star Wars recently, I'm going to compare Facebook to the force: it's just there.  Whether or not you choose to use it for good or evil is your choice.  Now, evil may be a strong word, so let's replace that with negativity for the purposes of this discussion.  Keep in mind that YOU are in control of your Facebook.  Are you still with me?  Good.

Two of the number one things that I hear people complain about on Facebook are babies and weddings.  "Ugh, someone else is getting married!  Another baby picture?  Gosh, don't these people have lives?"  I'm biting my tongue really hard here, as this inner monologue plays out in my mind of people complaining about what other people do with their time on Facebook (I think this whole topic makes me a pseudo-hypocrite, but look at how much I care.  This much ----->        ).  I feel strongly about two things regarding this conundrum that, honestly, people put themselves into:

• I would much rather look at babies, weddings, and engagement announcements than political garbage, people's meals, and I'm-begging-you-to-comment-on-my-appearance-selfies any day of the week.  This is just my opinion though, and since not everyone agrees, it brings me to my second set of feelings...
• Do you know why I don't watch Duck Dynasty?  It's because I don't like it.  Do you know what I would do if I turned on the TV and it came on?  I would change the channel.  Let that sink in for a moment.  Yeah.  You, YES YOU, have the power to see, and ultimately unsee anything you like, or dislike on Facebook.  Powerful stuff, eh?

If you don't like pictures of babies, engagements, weddings, or generally happy wonderful moments on Facebook, you have an option people.  You don't have to passively aggressively shun people.  You don't have to rant about it.  In fact, you don't have to deal with it in any way.  Block, unfollow, or unfriend the culprits of the joy you wish to unsee, and just be done with it.  You know what annoys my husband about Facebook?  Everything.  So guess what?  He's not on it.  He's also an adult and makes adult decisions, instead of wallowing in self-pity on the internet, so I kind of love him.

The number one thing that I don't have time for that people love to do/be/harbor in life (and mostly on Facebook)?...NEGATIVITY.  Ain't nobody got time for that!  Guess how long it took you to write that status that complained about what someone else was doing?  One to four minutes (after you carefully worded it so that you can be snarky/vague enough to get your point across without overtly offending anyone...sneaky sneaky, you are).  Guess what you could have done with that time instead?

• Made a Hot Pocket
• Done 44 jumping jacks
• Pet a baby pig approximately 127 times
• Told at least 6 people you loved them

See what I mean?  Negativity takes time.  Precious time.  Use it for good, Luke, not for evil.

Sorry if you got nothing out of this, but I hope you did!  Here's hoping that- with or without my advice- your 2016 brings you and your family good health and many blessings.

Much love,

Corri

Happy Hamburger Day

It's taken me awhile to gather up my thoughts and emotions to be able to post again, plus life and weekends have been crazy busy.  Here is my attempt to rectify my absence, for the seven people that read what I have to say on a regular basis.  Thank you, seven people.  I appreciate your business.

"What is Hamburger Day?  Did she just make that up?"  Well, yes I did...sort of.  It should come as no surprise to you that today is Memorial Day, and I guess my made up holiday name is a cathartic and snarky way of calling out people who don't respect, appreciate, or understand what today is actually about.  (If you are between the ages of 1-13 you get a pass, otherwise, shame on you)

I can understand the bastardization of holidays like Easter and Christmas, and while I don't condone it, I get it.  Not everyone is a Christian, and not everyone celebrates these holidays with the solemnity and purpose they were designed to possess.  That's ok, because we're all unique snowflakes and not all built to believe, say, think, or celebrate things the same way, so despite my personal feelings on the sanctity of spiritual holidays, I certainly don't judge.

But if you are a U.S. citizen, which I'm going to wager that the majority of people living in our country are, Memorial Day applies to you, and you should recognize that.  We are all afforded opportunities and benefits that other places in the world don't even get to dream of having, and I feel like most of the time it is not only forgotten, but taken for granted.

How to not suck at Valentine's Day

For some reason I seem to have this fascination with researching holidays as they rapidly approach on the calendar.  Even Trivia Crack ascertains that History is one of my strongest subjects, so perhaps it knows me better than I know myself.  Maybe it's my attempt to not seem ignorant as I choose to rant about said holiday, or maybe it's just my sheer intrigue at how we celebrate things in the 21st century, as opposed to how the holiday itself was intended to be celebrated.

As I dug up the dirt on Valentine's day, I found some interesting tidbits on the History channel.  Memorable items include a rebel priest Valentine (who was later to be canonized as a saint) marrying young couples despite the emperor's ban on marriage, and the pagan ritual of slapping women with bloodied animal hide to promote fertility.  Perhaps the 50 Shades of Grey story isn't as far off the beaten path of romance as we think…I kid!  I haven't even read the books, nor do I have any desire to.  I digress…

The video above has some more detailed information, if you happen to be interested, but I am here for a much simpler reason.  I would like to bestow upon you some advice for how to make this Valentine's Day one that will be memorable, and for the right reasons.  

I don't claim to know a lot, but I do know the population of the world is full of three types of people: Those who love Valentine's Day, those who despise it, and those who are indifferent toward it.  No matter what category you fall into, it's still possible for you to make the most of this holiday, sometimes without even spending a dime.

New Year's Resolutions: A little bit of history, and some "do"s and "don't"s

New Year's Resolutions are one of those things that are like my attempts at working out: priority one for about three days, and then rehearsals/doughnuts/Netflix gets in the way, and life resumes its normalcy.  Do I think they're antiquated and useless?  Surprisingly, no, or else why would I dedicate my time writing about them.  However, I do believe there is a right way, and thus, a wrong way to go about setting resolutions for the New Year.

First let's talk about the idea of resolutions in the first place.  When researching this definition, I found this to be the most apropos form:

a resolve; a decision or determination: to make a firm resolution to do something.  i.e. Her resolution to clear her parents' name allowed her no other focus inline.

Not to get all philosophical here, but many people develop the attitude, "Why change? I am who I am and that's all that I yam." Maybe that's just Popeye, but there are many that denounce the resolution tradition for their own reasons I suppose, but if it is indeed for the aforementioned reason, I have to ask myself, "Why?" Considering that in other parts of the world traditions range from rice pudding with a hidden almond, to bolting down a dozen grapes to your floor, this particular tradition doesn't seem that outlandish to me. Plus, with other global traditions like making cakes in the shape of rings, and eating pork to symbolize prosperity and success, I have to deduce that this custom is one that provides a little more depth and a little less superstition.

But getting back to the resolutions, where did they come from?  And why?  From what I can tell, the

Naughty & Nice Playlist: My top 10 rated Christmas songs...and the 10 that need sit in the corner and re-evaluate their life choices.

Right around December first, I turn my radio to the non-stop Christmas station and- save for commercials- don't leave for quite some time.  It is more than likely to assume, then, that I have heard a lot of the same songs time and time again, as have we all who share in this beloved tradition.  It is with attempted open-mindedness, a moderately snobby music background, and the blunt honesty of my brain diarrhea that I present to you the selections that made the Naughty & Nice playlists.

*DISCLAIMER* I will apologize in advance if I slam one of your favorites.  I mean not to spoil your Christmas joy, but I'd like to think that I have at least the semblance of a logical argument for my choices.  You, naturally, are welcome to heartily disagree!  Heck, I've even included a video for each song so you can at least try to level with me.  :)



NAUGHTY PLAYLIST

10)  Feliz Navidad

Let me preface this critique with the fact that this song happens to be one of my most favorite Christmas songs.  Any time it comes on, I groove along shamelessly in my vehicle to the catchy, albeit repetitive, musical stylings of Jose Feliciano.  Despite my personal approval (which should show my attempt at unbiased critiques) I do feel that this Christmas song- in addition to its highly repetitive nature- could have been written in about 2 1/2 minutes, rendering it the #10 spot on my list of Christmas songs that need to take a time-out.

9) Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas - The Pretenders

Oy.  This one is just plain difficult to listen to.  I want to be in your corner, struggling vocalist, I really

Let's start a "thing" - 12 Days of Christmas Challenge

Despite the fact that it is 11:36 pm, and this post won't likely be available to your twinkling eyes until "tomorrow", at this point, it is officially only 12 days until Christmas, which seems to have a festively appropriate ring to it.  There are many things pertaining to the 12 days of Christmas, including the incredibly catchy and choreographable holiday tune, to the TV specials featuring seasonal shows and movies.  This year, though, I'm going to encourage you to do something a little different with this notable countdown, and throw in some of my deliciously random Christmas photos too.

Maybe not quite that different... 

Let me first start by clarifying my meaning of "thing".  "Thing" in this case would be pertaining to a trend, specifically of the social media variety.  Comparable social media "things" include the Ice Bucket challenge, the "truth is" posts, and the one I am more or less channeling, the "thankful for list" that is popular around the Thanksgiving season.  Other "things" I have tried to start to no avail include windshield wipers for glasses made of paper clips and napkins, and a reverse french manicure, which I haven't completely written off yet.  Suffice it to say, I am having much higher hopes for this effort, and to do it well, I need your help my internet friends.

These are some of my non-internet friends.  Sometimes we dress up like
Ravenclaws at Christmastime and try to win the house cup.

So what is it?  It's an idea that has been on my mind a lot this month, and that idea is the notion of

Ridiculous Random Stories #2, #3, and #4

So, Happy Belated Birthday to me!  In commemoration of 24 exciting years on earth, I visited my charming, handsome beau, Roberto, in Utica NY.  That may not seem like a thrilling destination trip, but I had my share of epic adventures.

RRS #2

So I woke up on Saturday the 19th, ready to go.  The news was on (I was in Clayton where there was cable TV) and apparently a crap-ton of snow had just descended upon all of Oneida County, and I bet you wouldn't need three guesses to determine which county I was headed toward.  Whatever- I live in Upstate NY, and went to school in Buffalo, so it really couldn't be any worse than anything I'd previously driven in, so I ventured onward, leaving myself enough time to get to the restaurant before Rob got home.

*Prologue* Since Valentine's Day is always a week prior to my birthday I didn't get to see Rob, since he was working and I had school, so we were going to double dip and celebrate both holidays together.  My brilliant idea was to surprise him by randomly (to him at least) bursting into song in the middle of dinner.  I picked out the song and restaurant, made the CD and the reservation, and was ready to surprise the pants off of him!

Back to the journey...so I'm on the road in Lowville, and the roads aren't GREAT, but they certainly aren't awful.  Whilst driving behind a silver Toyota, I find myself second in a very long line of vehicles behind a very slow snow plow.  I am the first one to enjoy being behind a plow when in cataclysmic conditions, but on a 55 mph road going 25 mph, I was getting a little restless, as were the eight or so vehicles behind me.  The SUV on my tail actually pulled into oncoming traffic for a wee bit to see if he could pass myself, Toyota (that's her name for now) AND the plow.  Realizing that that wasn't probably the best idea, I figured I would attempt to make the passing instead, since the vehicle ahead of me wasn't initiating anything.  In fact, Toyota had applied the brakes twice while behind the plow, so I was very inclined to think Toyota had vehicle problems.  Anyway, before I got the chance to pass, Toyota passed, and I followed.  Hooray!  The roads were, again, not treacherous, and we drove a comfortable distance apart for the next 20 minutes or so, until we reached the light in Lowville where route 12 takes a right.  The light is green.  Toyota stops, parks, and gets out of her vehicle, and approaches Pheobe (the name of my PT Cruiser).  I'm thinking "Crap, something is wrong with my vehicle and she's going to inform me about it...I hope it's not expensive..."  I roll down my window and she says something similar to the following:

"Do you know what tailgating is?  Do you realize that you were tailgating me the entire time?  Where did you expect me to go?  WHERE was I supposed to go?  You know, I have two pieces of precious cargo in my car- they are called my children, and I don't feel like sliding off the road and endangering their lives because you don't know how to drive!..."

Ok, woah.  Is this really happening?  Is this woman REALLY chewing me out for something that A) I didn't realize I was doing because when people are stuck behind slower moving vehicles they tend to be closer together and B) I believe she is exaggerating because I was no closer to her than anyone else was to each other.  Woah!  So, I calmly interrupt her and say (realizing her intent with the braking)

"I'm sorry, I apologize if you thought I was driving too close.  But I also don't think brake-checking me is the way to solve the problem"  (Oh yeah, the light is still green)

"I only TAPPED ON THEM!" I think she should have to pay for the portion of my steering wheel that she charred with the flames that erupted from her mouth when she screeched those words.

The rant continues about my poor driving skills, her poor babies (that are sitting in an unlocked, parked Toyota at a green light.  What precious cargo.), my insensitivity and accusations of me being the antichrist and eating babies.  Okay, I exaggerated some of that, but I definitely got that vibe.  So, I interrupt again,

"Again, I aplologize if I was too close to you, but right now we are holding up traffic at a-"

"I DON'T GIVE A SHIT!  You need to learn how to freakin' drive!  Where on earth was I..."

Wow.  Stupid me for trying to be logical.  Clearly we can conclude the following from this flamboyant situation:

1) I am a bad driver, and thrive on frightening and endangering the lives of others, especially children.
2) I exhibit signs of road rage.  Ha.
3) I am an irrational driver who cannot remain calm, thus resulting in road rage. (See number 2)

Okay, again I am exaggerating, because to be honest this situation plagued me all the way to Utica.  I felt like total garbage, and for those of you who know me- you KNOW how bent out of shape I get when I feel like I have upset someone.  So I played this awful situation back and forth in my mind, fantasized about saying what I REALLY wanted (and that is why I have a blog) and came to the conclusion that I handled the situation exactly how I wanted to, and should have.

I'm not going to say that I wasn't tailgating her, and I'm not going to say that it was right to do so just because the line of nine or so vehicles behind me were doing the same; I am NOT a perfect driver.  However, can we agree that this woman was being really delusional and a little bonkers by getting out of her car and chastising me like a puppy that peed the rug?  I mean, she is a LUCKY woman to be able to chew out a driver that pissed her off- how many times do we encounter someone who we think should re-evaluate their ability to operate a vehicle, and we just have to slam on the brakes, honk our horns and deal with it.  If we stop and approach everything that we find distasteful in the world with the attitude she exhibited, we're going to find ourselves in a very overprotective, negative, and sometimes just illogical frame of mind.  Sometimes it's just best to move on and get over it.  So, Toyota, please move on and get over it.

RRS #3

So I get to Utica, and stop at the restaurant to make a reservation and set up the surprise.  I picked out a secluded table, dropped off the CD and the valentine, and went on my merry way.  I had to stop at Family Dollar to kill some time, and I realized I hadn't gotten Rob a Valentine's day card.  Even though it was a good week after the holiday, they still had one card left.  It was hot pink and two and a half feet tall.  Well, if I'm going to embarrass Rob I might as well go all out, so I bought it.

So Rob finally got home from work, and I gave him his card and he gave me Battlestar Galactica seasons one and two.  AMAZING!  I told him that we should probably get ready for dinner, and he kept asking where we were going, but I wouldn't tell him.  So then my phone rings, and in my fit of laziness I ask Rob to tell me who it is...aaaand it's the restaurant where we are supposed to be dining- no more surprise there.  Apparently, the CD I gave them won't work, and I have to give them suggestions on how to fix it in Rob's zero privacy apartment in a discreet enough manner that he won't know what's going on.  So I get off the phone and he says "What are you planning?"  Fail.  I tried to lie my way out of it, but he most definitely wasn't convinced.  He had also just helped me figure out how to put AA batteries in the camera I borrowed to document this epic event, so he definitely put two and two together.

So I don't get another phone call from the restaurant, and I hope that means they fixed it, so we headed out to dinner.  We hadn't gotten our salads yet, so I figured this was the perfect time to sing.  Alas, after I excused myself for the restroom (which I almost never do at dinner) the CD still didn't work, so they said to come back in two minutes and they'd see if they could get it on the bar stereo.  Well, halfway through my salad, the bar music cuts out and an obnoxiously loud recording of the song I was to serenade him with blared from the bar.  Rob asks me what's going on, and I hastily look at my salad and say "How would I know?"  Cover blown.  I excuse myself AGAIN (he must think I have IBS...) and the manager decides to set up some dessert wines at the bar and have me do it there.  So Rob and I have a seat at the bar, start to sip the wine and...cue music?  What...wait!  I only have two beats of music before I come in!  So I get up, grab the valentine, ask them to start the music over, and serenade him awkwardly at the bar. 

So, there was no real surprise, but it worked out and is recorded for your viewing pleasure.

Afterward, we got to enjoy a flaming banana dessert in the company of a very ditzy bartender who asked me, "Wow, so you like, wrote that song for him and performed it for him?"  I had to explain that, no, I did not write it, but Elton John did (Your Song), to which she replies to Rob, "Ohhh.  You must've felt kind of dumb, you probably should've had, like, an engagement ring ready or something!"  Wow...does she want to single-handedly ruin my relationship with her idiotic remarks?  We just laughed it off and ignored her.



RRS #4: 

So, pretty full weekend, huh?  It gets better!  Monday was my birthday, and I got to pick whatever we wanted to do that day!  So what did I decide to do?  Pass out.  That's right folks, I straight up fainted on my birthday.  Thank goodness Rob was there to (gently) slap me to consciousness (which he still feels really bad about).

Hands down, it was definitely the most memorable birthday I've had. :)