Draw something…ANYTHING…please?

For those that know me very well, especially when I was in my high school days, I am a bit of a conscience-prude.  Meaning, I don't like to cheat.  Like, ever.  I'm also a particularly poor liar, so these two personality traits are likely linked.

Anyway, when I play a game- be it real life or virtual- I am both in it to win it, and an honest player.  Unless it's No Limit Hold 'Em, or other games in which being dishonest is a strategy toward winning.  It is no surprise, though, that I have run across a wide gamut of cheaters in my day.  Whether it be students on homework assignments scrambling to get them done, or online randies that choose to duke it out in Words with Friends, I run across my fair share of people who want things done quickly, and not necessarily with any quality or effort involved.

With homework, I get it.  I don't condone it, obviously, but there's a lot riding on assignments and oftentimes students are overbooked and don't get things done.  Although the mature thing to do is be up front with your teacher, I can completely rationalize the thought process behind why someone would cheat or copy on their homework assignments.  I do NOT, however, understand why a consenting adult selects, downloads, and plays a game application for sheer pleasure/stress release/competitive outlet…and then chooses to play dishonestly.  Straight up makes no sense.  You want to play with others?  For fun?  And then cheat?  Por que?

This concept has bothered me for some time now, so for the past few months I have been screen-shotting unsuspecting players on the app Draw Something to showcase my absolute frustration with the human race.  It's literally titled, "DRAW.  SOMETHING."  Like, the rules are included in the frigging title, and people still elect to cheat.  Why, might you ask?  Don't most games come with the ability to earn currency and purchase things?  Yes.  With this game, you get to purchase colors, and there is a limited supply of them.  So you cheat.  So you can obtain all the colors.  And…now you cheat with multiple colors?  Most cheaters only use the black default ink anyway SO CAN SOMEONE JUST PLEASE EXPLAIN THIS TO ME BEFORE I HAVE AN ANEURYSM?

Sorry.  To decompress, here are some delectable shots of the good, the bad, and the ugly in my Draw Something experiences.  Bon appetite.

THE GOOD

To start, for those of you not familiar with the game, here are some of the successes I've encountered.  It's basically like Pictionary…except you can use words, just not the word your teammate is guessing.

This was a drawing my friend submitted, that I guessed right away, but I usually wait until the very end to type it to see the creation unfold.  The bomb will destroy four or five letters that aren't to be used.  There are eight letters in this word, and if you haven't already guessed it, it's….

PARAKEET

Another of my favorites was one I did (gloat much, Corri?) and I took some time to try to add more detail to it than I normally do.  For the record, I am a pretty terrible artist, so what is good work for me is likely sub par, at best, for most.

Nom nom nom...

Clearly labeled above, this was Pacman.  Although looking at it now it looks more like Pacman on LSD.  Until you have tried using your fleshy meat-stick fingers to try to draw on a tiny screen with precise motor skills, I ask you not to judge me.  Thanks.

This next collection of photos is my attempt to use (what I assumed to be common knowledge) pop culture and process of elimination to get my teammate to figure out…

#3 says Sporty, for those of you lacking deductive reasoning skills or 90s trivia

Unfortunately for me, and for what I deemed a pretty creative methodology of helping them guess, they did not get the answer, although they tried valiantly.  Guess they're not a 90's kid.  Anyway, they wasted about 22 seconds of my time in the next round writing out an apology in poopy brown ink, instead of addressing it in a game comment.  Inefficient?  Yes.  But polite.

THE BAD

I don't claim to be "the best" at Draw Something, but as mentioned earlier, I do take my role as a participant quite seriously.  Despite my best efforts, though, sometimes my drawings don't go as planned.

I must have learned from my mistakes, as I drew this same photo for someone else about a month later at a much higher level.  This picture is clearly pointing to her crotch, and she is super apathetic about her dance.  Not my best.

Thank the heavens that this poor person was able to even guess it.  My interpretation of ANGELS looks more like Pillsbury dough boy monks surfing on cotton balls.

THE UGLY (PART I - CHEATERS)

So back to my rant…the cheater cheater pumpkin eaters.  I have three separate installments for these gems, so sit back and enjoy…

Submitted by a friend, the word was HOTTIE

At least they're excited about cheating!

Is YACHT two words?

I don't even know what this is, and it's likely they did not either

No faith in me whatsoever.  Sheesh

…?

    

THE UGLIER (PART II - TRY HARD CHEATERS)

These selections I particularly don't understand, as the user actively drew something- sometimes quite well- and then simply revealed the answer anyway.  I call these examples the "try hard cheaters", which is almost oxymoronic.

Sooo….you drew a bracket…and then wrote the word bracket, thus doing twice the amount of work?  Yes?  Ok.  Just checking.

Apology not accepted.  You can draw this, and were doing a fine job (hence me having started guessing the word) before you threw in the towel and wrote it out.  All that work…for nothin'.

You have to have seen this one in motion to appreciate the hard work that went into it.  Granted, it's no Rembrandt, but they put so much detail into this…from the frames, to the pictures within, to even showing that they're hanging on the wall.  And then cheated anyway.  I honestly am insulted by this seemingly gracious gesture of dishonesty.  Do you think I'm a primate?  Do you think I can't figure this out?  What do you TAKE me for??!!

Picture 1-Great start!  It's clearly a card

Picture 2-Also good!  Driving the point home

Picture 3-Oh.  Um, thanks.  It wasn't already abundantly clear

Picture 4-Just in case you eat razors for breakfast and can't count to seven, let me spell it out for you AGAIN

THE UGLIEST (PART III - WTF?)

I have also dubbed this the "wtf?" category, on account of some of the photos being so all over the place.  Also in an inconsistent disarray are the thought processes behind those responsible for these drawings.  For the last, and most frustrating segment of my painstaking research, I present to you my collection of "wtf?" drawings.

Thank you, dear Draw Something player, for not taking me as a complete imbecile and only spelling out 80% of the word.  And also for giving me nightmares.

Come on guys, three letter word.  You can guess this…right…right??  While I appreciate the fact that this person didn't cheat, they did spell some word up top that I assume was to help me.  

Hint: helpful words are as useful as they are able to read, rendering your hint pretty useless.

PS- the word was DIG.  So obvious, I know.

I am pretty sure this ended up being the word SPARE.  I was thinking things like ROCKET, FIRECRACKER, MUSTACHE…really anything but.

So at first glance, these photos actually look like they could be something.  The one on the right was the first picture I had to guess, so considering the category was "sweet tooth" I thought PIXIE STIX, TWIZZLERS, NERDS ROPE.  I was wrong, as the answer ended up being…REESES?  What?  I thought it might have been a mistake, until I received the drawing on the left with the category "happy new year".  OK, I thought, "Maybe it's legitimate, and they're fireworks!"  Nope.  The answer?  WATCHING.

PS- I still guessed both of these correctly using my deductive reasoning skills, and a bomb or two

So at this point I'm ready to assume this player is just being a jerk, but it's also possible that they just don't quite understand the game.  For these reasons, and for research purposes, I continued to play them.  My turn, and the word is DIVIDE...

I think it's a pretty clear depiction, as I drew two photos for them to guess, since I could tell this person was struggling.  Not only did they get it wrong, but they didn't even try.  No letters dragged into the spaces, no bombs used, nada.  Oh, except this message after they missed it and our score got reset to zero...

So that settles it, they're a d-bag.  I should probably stop playing against them, as it is clear that they are just out to pictorially and anonymously antagonize me, but no way Jose!  I'm not giving up that easy.  I engage in one more round, and here's the picture they sent, careful not to select any category so as to stump me further.

Yeah.  Nothing.  The ass sent me absolutely nothing.  Not ONLY did I guess it correctly, but I used no bombs, and got it on my second try, with weather being my first guess.  Suck it, loser.

Corri-3  Draw Something Loser-0

I don't claim to be the bigger person in games or competitions, for the record.