Song Title: Get Lucky
Artist: Daft Punk feat. Pharrell
When: 2:30
Sounds like: Who brought the Mexican monkey?
Actual lyric/rationale: We're up all night to get lucky//
So it's pretty clear that this is in fact what they are actually singing, since it's been sung in the song several times at this point, but the auto-tuning really makes it difficult for one to un-hear the Mexican monkey once it's in your brain.
Song Title: Unconditionally
Artist: Katy Perry
When: :40
Sounds like: Uncle D'Seanally (shawn-uh-lee)
Actual lyric/rationale: Unconditionally//
So again, it's pretty evident that this is in fact what Katy's actually singing, hence the title, but there's something terribly amuck with her emPHAsis on the wrong syLLAbles, if you know what I'm saying. It's traditionally, un-con-DI-tion-al-ly, not un-con-di-TION-al-ly, which is incorrect, awkward, and sounds like an unusual yearning for one's Irish uncle.
Song Title: Break Free
Artist: Ariana Grande
When: 1:44
Sounds like: Like a deli feeder, babe, don't know how in the hell
This is not evident, and although having heard it multiple times on car rides to and from work, I eventually had to ask my doting husband about the lyrics, who also didn't know until he looked them up. Ariana Grande is gorgeous, and her voice is amazing, but she could learn a thing or two about proper English diction, as this is a trend in a lot of her songs. In my head I picture her saying, "Bitch please, I gots too many notes to fit into one syllable to be worryin' about consonants. Pfff." In my head, she sounds like this. Don't judge.
Song Title: Titanium
Artist: Sia
When: 1:41
Sounds like: Go stuff how, point of love
Sia, as talented as she is, has a horrible problem with making her words incomprehensible. It's not even just the poor diction, but the way she chooses to elongate the vowel sounds and her melodic movement with them that don't make the task of identifying words any easier. I genuinely didn't know the words to this song, until I just now looked them up.
Song Title: Lips are Movin'
Artist: Meghan Trainor
When: beginning
Sounds like: Y'all are sum, Marvin
This is another one that, once you know the title, is completely obvious. However, I distinctly remember coming home from work while this song had already commenced and wondering what she was singing. It has something to do with the emphasis of words on strange beats, which makes this part of the song particularly rough to decode, if you've not yet heard the title. No matter which words or syllables you emphasize in the four-word phrase above to change inflection or intent, I can guarantee that the last two on the list would be the ARE and the movIN', which makes this phrase sound super counterintuitive to how it is normally spoken.
Song Title: Apologize
Artist: Timbaland feat. One Republic
When: :49
Sounds like: It's too late to Papa Johns
This was a lyric misinterpretation that occurred on the behalf of my two nephews, who at the time were five and seven years old. They were very confused as to why it would be too late to Papa Johns, as their hours were pretty reasonable. I attribute the confusion to the lack of four syllables in the word apologize, as this singer chose to make it three. That's definitely crossing the line of artistic expression, sir.
Song Title: Pop Lock & Drop It
Artist: Huey
When: :41
Sounds like: Hot pocket, drop it!
Another obvious one, but again, level with me. When this came out, I again heard it for the first time on the radio, with no one announcing the name of the song. I was also young enough to not know what popping and locking was, or why anyone would include these words in a song. Plus, hot pocket drop it is more globally applicable, as it is really quite valuable advice.
Artist: Hanson
When: 1:23
Sounds like: Pen is he, blend of flour plan our hose. Can he bleh? And he won a foes, Kenny Planet. To find a witch, um, gross.
The next lyric is "It's a secret no one knows", but the real secret, Hanson, is what the eff you're singing about. I did actually know these lyrics, because I was a huge Mmmbop fan, but I knew of enough people that struggle with them to try to level with the masses and separate myself from what I knew them to be. It was actually tougher than I thought.
Artist: Sia
When: :22
Sounds like: I'm the one, fur girl time gull fuzz blowin' up, bring a mind down bear
This song is unique, and really cool, but so many lyrics are just poorly presented. It's definitely a Sia-ism, the whole not pronouncing words. It's a lot of great lyricism, covered by mumbling consonants and weird phrasing. There is much to be said about the enjoyment resulting from making up lyrics in my head, though, so thanks for that.
Artist: Mariah Carey and Whitney Houston
When: 3:29
Sounds like: But when the bloody body paint, cuz he's the one to get through the way. Mama's steel, set free the boy, says the whiz buries knees, ohhh
Actual lyric/rationale: But when you're blinded by the pain, can't see the way to get through the rain. A small but still resilient voice says, "Hope is very near" ohhh//
When I hear this song and look at my interpretation, I think about quitting my job and becoming a lyricist. Ha. This song goes way back to when my best friend and I loved the Prince of Egypt and sang this song all the time, except WAY better than Whitney and Mariah. Jokes again. Well my husband and I watched the Prince of Egypt a few weeks back and this song brought back traumatic lyric memories, and I honestly couldn't to this day remember the actual words. I remember rewinding the cassette tape over and over to no avail, until I just settled with random phonetics because I gave up. Be thankful for the internet, children, as you can use it to avoid making the lyrical disasters I once made.
There are seriously SO MANY other songs that I completely create new lyrics to because of the inability to comprehend what the artist is trying to convey. I can't think of them all, but feel free to share some of the ones that are your favorites!
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