Sunday, February 22, 2015

28 things I learned after 28 years

So yesterday, was my birthday…


…and I officially turned 28 years old, huzzah!  With age comes a lot of things: wrinkles, well-wishes, and wisdom, being the three most obvious, but it's often too easy to not put things into perspective and be thinking solely about the future.  Not that that's a bad thing, per se, but a lot of the time I love looking back at what a pessimistic, argumentative idiot I used to be, and rationalize how I got where I am currently, and what I learned to get here.  It's sort of like looking back at old diaries and realizing how naive you used to be…actually, it's exactly like that.  Through heartaches, strained friendships, painful loss, joyful gain, and lots of laughing, I'm proud to say I made it to 28.  Here are 28 things I've learned on the road of life that I'd like to share with you:

1)  If at first you don't succeed, try try again.  My brother used to pull my feet out from underneath me when I was learning to walk, but despite the fact that he made the process more challenging, I ended up figuring it out eventually.  Perseverance is key, which is the only reason why I now know how to ride a bike, thanks to Mary.  It may have been when I was the ripe old age of 14, but who's counting?

2) You lose 100% of the hands you fold.  Poker analogy for saying you can't win anything if you don't risk anything.

3) Everything happens for a reason.  Don't fight it, and don't ask questions.  It will be revealed in due course, I am certain of it.

4) Everything is a game of balance.  You have one life, and one body, and you have to make the most of it.  Balancing everything from activities, to meals, to workouts, to work schedules is a key to remaining sane.

5) Make the effort to have a relationship with your parents.  Not everyone is blessed enough to know their mother or father, and only one other person is lucky enough to be able to claim my mother as theirs too, but I can't stress the importance of our relationship enough.  Mother knows best, unless it's in Rapunzel's case...

6) Stand up for yourself…because it's likely that no one else will do it for you.


7) Stand up for otherswhen it's the right thing to do, and when there's no one else who will do it for them.

8) Don't concede who you are, for anyone.  It's not a crime to better yourself, but no one should have to re-do who they are to make someone else happy.  Be you, and unabashedly so.

9) Write.  Read that carefully.  It doesn't say type, text, or e-mail.  It says write.  Do it every once in a while, and maybe even in cursive.  It just feels good sometimes.

10) Read a book.  Since we're on the subject, make time to read real books in addition to the madness that is e-readers.  They're great, and useful, and never will they replace the sensation and satisfaction of a real honest to god book with a cover.  Make time for this.

11) Random acts of kindness.  Do these.  It's such a fun feeling to surprise someone for no reason.

12) Use your talents for the betterment of others.  We all have a gift, deep down somewhere.  Hone it, and use it to make the world a better place.

13) Laugh.  A lot.  If you are lucky enough to have friends like mine, this happens quite a bit.  To the point where I peed my pants more often than the average person.



14) You have two ears and one mouth.  Use them in that ratio.  'Nuff said.

15) Be kind to others, even when you have no reason to be.  It might not be easy, but it will make you feel better in the long run.

16) Be patient.  Not everything happens when you want it to, and remember also that things that come naturally to you may be a struggle for others.

17) Take some time for yourself.  This is critical for those of us who want to live past the age of 40.

18) Apologize first.  What's the point in being stubborn and waiting for the other person to come forward?  Life is too short for petty games.

19) Don't settle for less than what you deserve.  It's ok to be picky when you've earned it, and it's ok to throw something (or someone) away if it's not a good fit.  Don't feel obligated to "stick it out" with something or someone if you're not compatible.

20) Always love someone on a full tank of gas.  Basically, don't hold back and give anything less than 100%, or you won't get as far.  Will it hurt more if you are betrayed?  Of course, but the strongest of hearts are the ones that have been broken.


21) Put down the cell phone.  As a frequent over-user myself, I have learned that memories will always trump videos, and spoken words will always trump electronic messaging.  Find some time to "unplug" for a bit and actually enjoy life in 3D.

22) Work on relationships.  None are easy, especially when we get older, busier, and distance becomes an issue.  If the relationship is worth it, you should find time to make it work.  It's not going to always be perfect, but if the intent is there, that's something.

23) Look at things from a big perspective.  One time I almost broke down in tears because of my frustration about something minuscule, and I literally thought to myself, "Pull it together.  There are children starving in Africa."  It sounds absurd, but you would be surprised how viewing your life on a bigger scope can help you appreciate things.

24) It's not having what you want, it's wanting what you've got.  Of course we all have goals and ambitions, but if you continue to want, want, want, you'll never be satisfied.  Take a look around, and appreciate what you've got enough to realize that at one point, you wanted that.  And now you have it.  Boom.

25) Complain less.  Yep.

26) Take others' advice.  Maybe it's wrong, but maybe it's right.  Even if it's not the latter, try to be polite about accepting it.  You can always disregard in private, but most peoples' intent is to first and foremost be a help.

27) Don't take your frustrations out on others.  That doesn't usually make anyone's life any easier.

28) Live as if you would die tomorrow.  This isn't meant to sound morbid, or as if you need to complete all your Bucket List items tomorrow.  It's just meant to remind you that life is not for wasting, it's for living, and while binge watching Netflix is great every once in awhile, what if you knew you'd die tomorrow?  Would you still do it?  Would you still complain about the snow?  Would you still Facebook stalk people for hours and get lost in YouTube videos?  Again, none of these things are bad, in moderation, but living life to its fullest likely doesn't necessitate any of the aforementioned activities.

I hope you young 'uns were able to learn a thing or two from my 28 influential years on planet Earth, and that those older than I were able to agree on some points, and maybe even have a few nuggets of advice of your own.  I am going to be chronicle-ing my recent trip to Vegas soon, but I am also directing a show next weekend so I will try to stay ahead so if I miss a weekend I won't feel so bad.



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