Friday, February 13, 2015

How to not suck at Valentine's Day


For some reason I seem to have this fascination with researching holidays as they rapidly approach on the calendar.  Even Trivia Crack ascertains that History is one of my strongest subjects, so perhaps it knows me better than I know myself.  Maybe it's my attempt to not seem ignorant as I choose to rant about said holiday, or maybe it's just my sheer intrigue at how we celebrate things in the 21st century, as opposed to how the holiday itself was intended to be celebrated.

As I dug up the dirt on Valentine's day, I found some interesting tidbits on the History channel.  Memorable items include a rebel priest Valentine (who was later to be canonized as a saint) marrying young couples despite the emperor's ban on marriage, and the pagan ritual of slapping women with bloodied animal hide to promote fertility.  Perhaps the 50 Shades of Grey story isn't as far off the beaten path of romance as we think…I kid!  I haven't even read the books, nor do I have any desire to.  I digress…



The video above has some more detailed information, if you happen to be interested, but I am here for a much simpler reason.  I would like to bestow upon you some advice for how to make this Valentine's Day one that will be memorable, and for the right reasons.  

I don't claim to know a lot, but I do know the population of the world is full of three types of people: Those who love Valentine's Day, those who despise it, and those who are indifferent toward it.  No matter what category you fall into, it's still possible for you to make the most of this holiday, sometimes without even spending a dime.

Valentine's Day is sort of like an obnoxious cousin; you can ignore him, but just about once every year you're going to have to tolerate him.  Let's face it, social media combined with the fact that retailers all over the world pounce on this holiday like a puma spotting a weakened gazelle make this holiday all but impossible to ignore.  Hopefully, though, if you've watched the above video and learned a bit about the day's history, you can still manage to celebrate the holiday with a chipper spirit and full wallet.  Married, engaged, dating, single and on the prowl, or a bitter Anti-Valentine's Day advocate, here are five ways to not suck at Valentine's Day, intertwined with some clever lyricism.

  1. I wanna see you be brave.  Let's say you're into someone, but you haven't made a move yet.  It's almost like Valentine's Day is an excuse for you to do something about it!  For some reason, in my opinion, it seems like there is less pressure on Valentine's Day, and for psychological reasons, your love interest might even be more inclined to say yes on this day.  So what are you waiting for?  Even if it doesn't go the way you'd planned, they are at least likely to be flattered by your interest in them, and you just might have made their day without having to wine and dine, and wasn't making them feel special the point anyway?  I'll never forget my 9th grade Valentine's Day, as I elected to buy a carnation and tape it to my crush's locker.  I don't think I'd ever even spoken to the guy, but despite the fact that to this day I don't think he knows I did it, (we never dated...or spoke) I bet I made his day a little more special.  Or maybe just weird.  Who knows.
  2. Can't buy me love.  I know this is so cliche, but it's also very true.  Some of the best gifts I have ever given didn't cost a thing, or cost very little.  Especially now, with social media and Pinterest giving us gads of crafty suggestions for how to waste our time trying to make something beautiful when it just comes out looking like garbage, it's never been easier to come up with a meaningful, low budget gift that will mean a lot more than flowers that will die and chocolates that will add calories.  One time, I made a flip book for someone compiling all of the funny inside jokes and quotes we shared.  I hand-drew all of the pictures on index cards, and if you're not sure what my artistic ability is like, look at my Draw Something post from a few weeks back to get an inkling.  Either way, we spent a lot of time flipping through it and laughing our asses off, so I categorize that as a win.
  3. You make me smile like the sun.   So maybe you're dateless, single, and bitter.  I feel you, and I've been there, but instead of being a miserable curmudgeon and making people around you like you less, perhaps you can participate in this holiday in a platonic way.  To this day, my mother (who will likely also be canonized as a saint someday) still sends me a card for Valentine's Day.  I remember each morning as she would set out our clothes, pack my brother's and my lunches, and make us a wonderful breakfast, there would always be lovely pink and red envelopes at the kitchen table saying "Happy Valentine's Day" on the front.  Spend the day with a loved one.  Visit someone in the hospital that needs a pick me up, or maybe just buy the person in the car behind you their coffee at Dunkin' today.  Considering that this holiday is rooted in a story regarding love, death, and martyrdom for the greater good, these aren't bad suggestions for how we should all spend the holiday, regardless of relationship status.
  4. But I know in time I'll find this was no surprise.  Although this lyric is from a song I love that is about a break up, in this context it is meant to be interpreted positively.  I feel like the majority of couples who participate in Valentine's Day have their plans set forth much in advance, which is not a bad idea, but tends to often get repetitive or monotonous.  Changing it up a little, especially if you've been together awhile, is likely to provide a fresh new spark in your relationship.  Are you the dress up for dinner and a movie type?  Stay in and play board games in your pajamas with popcorn.  Are you the mini-vacation getaway couple?  Maybe stay home this year and plan a clever Valentine's Day scavenger hunt.  Change, most often, is not a bad thing.
  5. Listen, to the song here in my heart.  One of my favorite things to do is to buy people gifts.  Provided I am not hurried and stressed, I love matching up my loved ones' personalities with things that I think would be a good fit.  In order to do this both successfully and sneakily, though, I have to keep a mental checklist in the back of my brain about what this person has mentioned in regards to likes and dislikes.  Some balmy July day someone might come out with, "Oh I love Breaking Bad, it's my favorite show!"  So in my brain I right click, "save as", and store this information for the next applicable holiday.  I pride myself in never asking for a wish list, because at the end of the day, if I don't know them well enough to know what they like, should I even be getting them a gift at all?  If you are going the gift giving route, listening is imperative.  It will save you time, and money.  I mentioned to my husband when we started dating that I'm just not a jewelry person.  I also don't really like chocolate.  His response was, "Well what am I ever going to get you as a gift?!"  Suck it up buttercup, and be creative!  I don't want someone spending tons of money on me for a diamond thingamajig that I will likely never wear or lose.  Unless it's an engagement ring, then I will gladly accept, which I did.  But honestly, if you want to spend a lot of money on me, buy me a flute.  Or a ping pong table.  Or something else that I will use and we will get our money's worth out of.
I hope that you enjoy your Valentine's Day, my friends.  Whether you are celebrating with a significant other, spouse, friends, or family, you can still make the most out of a holiday that- although is now all about sending flowers and buying large plush animals- was once about love, sacrifice, and changing someone's life for the better.

Happy Valentine's Day, and wish me luck in Vegas!

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